


Open Your Heart to Temptation

by RiddlePanda



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, South Park Phone Destroyer, Youth Pastor Craig/Imp Tweek AU, will add more as we go along - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-02-04 13:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddlePanda/pseuds/RiddlePanda
Summary: Youth Pastor Craig Tucker finds an unconscious demon in the snow one night. Normal priests would have done anything else that WASN'T what Craig did once the demon woke up.





	1. Something Wicked This Way Comes

Craig Tucker’s life shifted completely when he had found a young blonde haired man unconscious in the snow on his way home from his church activities that night. Being the good man he was, (he _**WAS**_ a youth pastor after all) Craig had felt it was the right decision to bring man home. South Park was not known to take kindly to the homeless population and Craig had definitely never seen the man before.

The man had wild unkempt hair and a thin body and Craig hoped that it wasn’t one of the meth addicted users that the next town over had a huge influx of. He had more than enough of finding one or two each week, passed out in the church with vomit covering them. He didn’t mind anyone sleeping off their fix, be it drugs or alcohol, and then confessing their sin once they woke up, but there was one thing Craig Tucker couldn’t handle and that was vomit. He was so glad Father Maxi had hired a janitor to clean the church and would hold up in his office until it was gone.

Craig deduced the man was not meth addicted when he had took a towel to the blonde hair to dry it and had found the tiny red horns growing out of his head, carefully hidden in the wild locks. Upon more examination, he deduced that the man had a tail curled up and that it was **_NOT_** a well endowed package. And the wings growing out of his back seemed to have some sort of sentience when Craig felt their gratefulness of being freed from being bunched up in the man’s coat.

By the time the demon awoke, Craig had just wordlessly handed him a cup of coffee and waited until he was oriented and awake enough to start asking questions and answered a few he got from the demon.

The demon’s name was Tweek, he was a soldier under Satan’s son Damien since they had known each other since they were kids and were friends, and his specialty was leading people to embrace their vices. The reason he was unconscious was he hadn’t eaten in a few days.

“I guess you eat souls?”

“Well…actually…”

Before Tweek could answer, there was a loud knock on the door of Craig’s apartment. Craig grumbled and went to answer the door to find his landlord pointing a finger in his face.

“Mrs. Rogers said that she saw you bring an unconscious man into your apartment! You know what the rules a-”

“Ms. Maxwell, if you are implying that I, **_a man of the cloth_** , would take advantage of one of my dear friends that called me up and pleaded with me to help him back on the road of Salvation after he got in a bad way tonight, then it hurts me that your Soul can’t even see good in your own  _church_ that you attend regularly every Wednesday and Sunday.”

The woman paled as she took a step back. “I… S…Sorry Pastor Tucker! I forget that you’re with the Church sometimes. You’re just so young and I didn’t mean to impose! I promise I’m going to pray and ask God for forgiveness for my assumptions!”

Craig shut the door and turned around, confused by the trembling and the shocked expression on Tweek’s face.

“What?”

“You of all people should **_KNOW_** what you just said, right!? You’re a priest!? Fucking really!? Of all the damn people to find me!? This is…. GAH! And why are you so calm about this!? You’re not gonna banish me, are you!? Oh god! You **_CAN’T_** banish me! I haven’t even had a Peppermint Mocha yet!”

As much as it morbidly amused Craig to see the demon pace back and forth, it was still quite late and he didn’t want Ms. Maxwell to come back to scream at him that they were being loud. He grabbed Tweek and turned him to face him.

“Dude. Relax. If I was gonna banish you, don’t you think I would have done that by now? Like when you were unconscious? Besides, I know banishment doesn’t fucking work. It only works for a few weeks and then you get to come back, right?”

The demon twitched, still looking at Craig with an incredulous stare. Suddenly, Tweek closed his eyes and grew still. He smiled and let out a chuckle before opening his eyes. “Wow…your Ms. Maxwell, was it? She’s got such a dirty mind. Such impure thoughts she had of what she thought you were gonna do to me.”

It was Craig’s turn to be confused but noted that Tweek did seem to look a lot better than the strung out look the demon had only a few minutes before.

“I…uh…just ate. Her confession…well the “sin” that was associated with her confession. That’s what we eat. The “weight” of the sin a person does when they confess. The bigger the sin, the more delicious and filling it is when they confess. We don’t eat souls, I mean how else are we gonna increase our numbers down there if we eat them?”

Craig nodded as he motioned for the two to sit down. “Yeah, that makes sense. I mean otherwise one of you would have already eaten Hitler by now. Kenny always talks about seeing him around when he dies and goes down there, but with him, I have no idea if he's telling the truth or not.”

“Kenny? Kenny McCormick? The Cthulhu cursed guy? You know him?!”

“Oh good, you know about that. He’s one of my best friends. **_YOU_** know him?”

Tweek nodded. “Weird guy. Always winks at me and Pip when he sees us, unless Damien is there. Damien is one jealous dude and Pip is definitely taken by him.”

Craig chuckled. “Sounds about right. Has this thing for blonde guys. I mean… who doesn’t? Although if I was still dating Thomas, I’d probably be in the same jealous boat as Damien if Kenny had hit on him.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Gee…a gay preacher. Didn’t see **_THAT_** coming!”

“Hey! At least I lean toward adults and not little boys. I can forgive a  _lot_ that people confess to me, but when it comes to little kids, there is not enough prayer and forgiveness in the world to clean them from **THAT** sin.”

Tweek shuddered. “Those are the worse! Like most of us demons won’t even touch those kinds of people. Satan has a special place he puts them when they die and their souls get judged. Likewise with the kids that come down there. The place they go is so amazing. Think of all the amusement parks rolled up in one with huge hideaway bedrooms and stuff. When we were children, Damien and the rest of us stayed there a lot.”

Craig sipped at his coffee. “You mentioned that before. That you were a child and grew up? Were you always a demon…or were you human? How does that work?”

The demon frowned as he held his coffee cup. “It would have been wrong to keep baby souls babies forever. Both Satan and God had that meeting long ago. So, they have an agreement that baby souls are what Demons and Angels derive from. It’s completely random and even, otherwise there would be far less Angels than demons if God’s rules for Heaven applied to them as well.”

Craig nodded. “The “only Mormons go to Heaven” rule, right?”

“Kenny?”

“Kenny.”

Tweek nodded. “My mom just wouldn’t stop drinking coffee while she was pregnant with me. It didn’t help that she and my dad owned a coffee shop. I was premature and very small when I was born and suffered a heart attack since there was so much caffeine in my body. I was only three days old. I mean…a little coffee would have been okay, but she was drinking at least ten pots a day. They never even gave me a name.”

Craig frowned. “I guess it was rude to give you coffee then. Sorry Tweek.”

Tweek shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. I do like coffee regardless of what happened. Especially when I go to the coffee shop here in town and get free coffee from my mom.”

“But only the Tweaks work at the coffee shop he-”

Craig’s eyes widened as he looked at the demon. “Tweek! Don’t tell me that-”

“She shouldn’t. She shouldn’t recognize me at all, especially when she only saw me twice and I was barely three pounds and that was like twenty years ago. But she does. Mother’s bond I guess? Yeah…The Tweaks are my parents. That’s why I chose my name as Tweek. It was the only name I knew and felt safe with.”

“You probably would have been in my grade then. I just turned twenty one a few weeks ago. Man, you probably would have been a better kid to hang out with than some of the assholes I had to deal with. I guess what I said to Ms. Maxwell had a bit of truth to it. You probably would have been my friend.”

Tweek sipped his coffee before glaring at Craig. “Yeah…about that! You **_DO_** realize what you did, right!? About a  _priest_ calling a  _demon_ a **_friend_**!? That’s giving me power over you! That’s basically giving me permission to enter your house of worship! Nothing you can do to get rid of me will work!”

Craig shrugged. “Well…now it will be easier for you to eat, right? How do you normally do it? Fly around and hear if anyone’s confessing? That sounds like too much work. You can just hide in the confession booth with me and listen in.”

Tweek groaned. “Why are you being so calm about this? A normal priest would have banished me the second they saw any of my demon parts!”

“I help people, no matter who they are. And you looked like you needed help. South Park has always been a cesspit of negative energy since I was a kid and I didn’t want to contribute to it when I grew up. I…always thought there was something missing in my life growing up and vowed that I would be a good person because maybe one day, I’d find that missing piece of me. And what better way to earn Karma than becoming a priest? Besides, from what you just told me, you kind of just confirmed some of the things I thought Kenny was bullshitting me about. So, you're good in my book...for now.”

———————————-

Although Craig repeatedly told Tweek that he had more than enough to pay for the apartment they now shared, Tweek began working at Tweak Bros after Richard Tweak had suffered a massive heart attack. He couldn't bear to see his mom sad and his parent's business fail (even if it _had_ been the cause that killed both him and his dad). Despite being a demon, Tweek **_did_** have some sort of a sweet heart and charm and amazing coffee skills that drummed up more business than the small shop had seen in years. It also worked out in Tweek's favor that he could use his demonic specialty to entice people to drink more coffee.

The months had gone by without incident, save for the combined plan of Craig and Tweek forcing Father Maxi into the mental asylum when the priest had began a tangent of calling anyone who wasn’t a Christian a Heathen and would burn in Hell and tried to make the church blacklist non-Christian establishments.

Normally, Craig wouldn’t have minded, but it was starting to affect his Jewish friend Kyle, the only lawyer in town, who had also become one of Tweek’s best friends while chatting over coffee every morning. Seeing Tweek stressed and sad about Kyle angered Craig enough to take action.

Replacing holy water with regular tap water and making sure all the available religious instruments were out of reach or "tainted" was easy enough as was allowing Tweek in the actual church itself. Ever since the first night they had met, Tweek could safely enter the church whenever Craig was in the building. Craig surmised about the age old trope of being a priest corrupted by a demon, but even before he had known Tweek, his views on religion had always been different than normal.

It had been the first time Craig had seen Tweek in full blown Demon Mode glory, complete with stereotypical pitchfork (that Craig had bought at the hardware store and spray-painted red) and Tweek's rarely seen goat legs and hooves ("I'm way more clumsy with them than my human legs!") and had Craig not already been super gay for Tweek before, he definitely was when he heard Tweek’s seductive demon voice. Specialty in embracing vices indeed. The Nice and Sweet Tweek everyone (especially Craig) had fallen in love with these past few months was a complete 180 to Demon Tweek. Craig reminded himself to ask Tweek to do the voice more often.

With Father Maxi declared insane and Craig being the more or less second in command at the church, Craig became the new full time pastor. He hired one of Kenny’s friends (that both him and Tweek knew was more than a friend) that had recently “moved” to South Park, a sweet young man named Leo, as the new Youth Pastor since he had very very good credentials. (Being one of God’s Angels did sway Craig’s decision just a bit.)

Craig was just glad Leo didn’t have a problem with Tweek dropping by every day, especially when the two had “Christened” Craig’s new office and Leo had walked in on them. In fact the two soon became great friends when Leo revealed that Angel’s “food” was the enlightenment that someone gets when they confessed. The deeper the sin they confessed, the meatier the enlightenment was. Tweek, on several occasions, jokingly accused Leo of baiting him into making people sin more for both of them to get more satisfying results.

With both a Demon and Angel using his church as their playground and revealing all that actually went on in Hell and Heaven and how the two thought it was hilarious and stupid how what most humans believed religion was, Craig didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or scold the two of them for making a mockery of the entire religious concept and his church.

————————–

“You’re a fucking terrible priest, you know that right? Open your hearts to Salvation my ass. It’s sickening how people eat this shit up.”

Craig just chuckled as grabbed the Tweak Bros coffee the demon in front of him was handing him. “I think that was one of my better sermons. Give me some credit here. Good number of confessions today. And don’t swear. My office is **_STILL_** part of the church.”

Tweek laughed as he undid the spell that hid his demonic appendages. His wings stretched and twitched in satisfaction from being freed. “You swear more than I do man! And you know the Church “rules” don’t apply to me.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me. You’re not still tormenting Father Maxi by the way? He’s claiming he’s seeing demonic bats and bloody corpses are popping up in his room. The nurses at the asylum have been concerned he’s getting worse.”

“Ugh! No, Craig. I stopped that like a while ago! That’s just a side effect of the drug cocktail they’re giving him now. Speaking of drugs and the asylum… If we ever need an influx of new people needing to confess their sins, I’ve got plenty of dirt on the administrator cutting costs there for a trip to the Bahamas and getting their drugs from…less reputable sources.”

“Kenny?”

“Kenny.”

Craig raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Oh really? Do tell. It **_IS_** almost the end of the month. We can break your record.”

Tweek nodded before sighing. “I confessed to… mom today.”

Craig gave a mock hurt look to Tweek. “But _I’m_ your priest! You should confess to me! How’d she take it?”

Tweek took a sip of coffee. “Better than expected. But like…I think she already knew. Or at least had suspicions. She told me she was in a bit of shock when I died, so she didn’t know what happened until days later. We’re gonna talk about legal paperwork and stuff with Kyle in a few weeks.”

“So, did you tell the whole truth?”

The demon nodded. “She took it better than I thought, but since getting familiar with South Park in the last few years, she’s probably seen and been involved with weirder stuff to happen. And now I’ve got another safe space to “Demon out” when I need to. So…put her down as family on the wedding roster.”

“I still can’t believe you said yes.”

“Even without the emotional heartfelt speech about how I was “that piece that you always felt was missing in your life”, I still would have said yes. Imagine…a demon and a priest getting married. This is gonna push a lot of buttons.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Only human buttons. Both God and Satan don’t care and that’s all that matters to me. Found that out when Kenny gave me the return RSVP cards from both of them if they could joint officiate our wedding.”

“This is gonna be one weird wedding, you know that?”

“It’s South Park. The only weird thing about it is you insisting on wearing white. There is nothing pure about you at all.”

Tweek stuck his tongue out, momentarily letting it become his usual forked appendage that just  ** _did_** things to Craig’s libido. “It’s Damien’s idea. He thought it would be a great inside joke. Besides, you look really good in all black.”

“Damn you demons and your jokes.”

Tweek hummed. “So…you still have an hour before the nightly Sermon…”

“You’re a horny little shit, you know that?”

Tweek just pointed to his horns and laughed prompting Craig to roll his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this, Butters died as a baby. somethingsomethinggroundinghimforcryingwithoutfoodandhesababyso...somethingsomething. As a result, he never got his "Butters" nickname.


	2. My Strange Addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other chapters of this story will be bits and pieces that will jump around in the story. I'll be sure to include a timeframe of where the chapter takes place.
> 
> This takes place a few days after Craig and Tweek meet.

A priest calling a demon their friend wasn’t as bad as the lectures and texts had described. (just more bullshit in the dogma that thousand year old dead guys had probably drunkenly written in some sort of religious “D-Club” meeting)

While Tweek did have access to the church and Craig himself wasn’t able to use any of his “Demon banishing tools” to get rid of the blonde, it had its own set of perks. Namely that Tweek’s powers wouldn’t affect him.

Tweek’s demeanor was the exact opposite of a stereotypical demon in the Latin texts Craig had to slough through in order to finish his training to Priesthood. The demon was cheerful and charming, not overly suggestive and seductive at all (that would come way later in their relationship once they understood each other’s boundaries).

So there was no way that Tweek was twisting Craig into being infatuated with him like some floozy incubus would have. (”I have standards Craig!”)

The conversation had started up a few days after Craig had found Tweek and invited the demon to stay with him once Tweek assured him that having him around would make Ms. Maxwell leave him alone once and for all.

\---------------------------

Tweek chuckled as Craig walked in the door that night, knowing the young priest had to deal with the landlord, letting her know that Tweek was living there now.

Craig narrowed his eyes. “You already know how it went, don’t you?”

“She really has a nasty yaoi fetish. She’s on “Hail Mary” number twenty. They’re almost as delicious as my coffee.”

Craig handed Tweek one of the takeout containers he grabbed on the way back from his church duties that night. “Well, don’t fill up just on those. You still need to eat actual food.”

The demon poked at the meal with his chopsticks. “ ** _IS_** this considered actual food?”

“Ah Tweek, don’t knock down the “best shitty chicken” in town.”

Tweek smirked at Craig’s horrible Chinese accent. “Wow...that was a bit racist, don’t you think? For a priest to say that...”

Craig rolled his eyes as bit into a piece of chicken. “The owner is a fucking white guy with split personalities. The town just lets him do his horrible Chinese stereotype personality because it’s the only Asian restaurant in town.”

“Is it a bad thing to say that I’m kind of glad I became a demon instead of surviving and having to live here? I mean, no offence.”

“Dude, I got deported to Peru when I was ten and found out I had the power of stopping giant guinea pigs that were attacking and shot lasers out of my eyes all because some of my asshole friends stole my hundred dollars I got for my birthday because they wanted to start a Peruvian flute band.”

Tweek stared at him in horror. “That...is fucked up.”

“Tell me about it! I like fucking **_LOVE_** guinea pigs! So to fucking laser them to get rid of them hurt me deep in my soul! I’ve still never forgave Stan, Kyle, and Cartman for that.”

“Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Eric Cartman?”

Craig stared blankly at the demon. “Don’t... Don’t tell me you know them too. Like at this rate, you seriously could say you were in another classroom at school with us if you know them and no one would bat an eye. They’d probably even say they remembered you at some point.”

Tweek shook his head and chuckled. “I know Stan a bit and I know of the other two. They all have quite a reputation, both in Hell and Heaven. We **_ALL_** remember the kid who’s mom started the damn Apocalypse and killed Jesus that one time. Cartman needs no explanation. Stan is actually partially one of us.”

“One of you? Like a demon?”

“Somewhat. He died for several minutes when he was a baby. His mom let his dad watch him for like thirty minutes. That was just enough time for Satan to touch him to turn him into a demon before his Soul went back into his body. He’s not a full demon, but Satan can use his body as a vessel and, if Stan really wanted to expand on it, can use demon-like powers.”

Craig nodded. “Stan’s kind of a dumbass sometimes. But he’s got a kind heart. Works at the animal shelter dealing with hurt animals.”

“Oh I know. He’s helped me more times than I can count with hurt demon appendages. You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve twisted my damn ankle because I have no coordination and I'm way more clumsy with them than my human legs! Why us demons have fucking goat legs and hooves is beyond me. I hate that **_ONE_** thing.”

“So you **_DO_** look like the demons depicted in the books. I was wondering about that. Is there anything they got wrong?”

Tweek took a sip of coffee. “Pitchforks. We don’t have those. Satan has no idea where that even came from but he has to keep one at his throne for “those people” that insist he have one when they go to be judged. You know... I am still creeped out by the fact that you’re a priest and you’re not going into the typical “throw Holy Water at me, point a stick at me, and say a bunch of Latin phrases that they horribly butcher and end up calling their mother a teat sucking cow” mode that normal priests do when they see us.”

“It’s not every day that you can actually have a civil conversation with “the enemy” and as you can tell, I’m not a typical priest. Does any of that stuff even work?”

“It...does... but it depends on the rank of the priest and demon. For example, while I may be young in demon years, the fact that I’m in Damien’s command makes me ranked as a lesser first class demon. Only demons in Satan’s direct command are higher than me. Your Father Maxi is classified as a Head Priest and could easily take me down but would be on equal footing in power to one of Satan’s demons since your church is the only one in town. If there was another church, the “power” between the Heads of the Churches would be divided and I could take him down.”

“So that’s why some banishings and some exorcisms work, but not others. Father Maxi had to get my help one time during a demonic possession because he thought the power of two priests would work better.”

Tweek nodded. “That would be one of God’s little jokes on Christianity. He wants you guys to spead the word, but the more you do, the less power you have. It’s kind of a Hipster mentality. The more mainstream something is, the less cool it becomes.”

“So with me being Father Maxi’s second in command, more or less, would that mean we’re on equal footing?”

Tweek nodded. “If we fought, the winner would be who had more willpower to go on. That is...if you hadn’t of called me your friend. The only way we can fight now is an actual physical fight and us kick the shit out of each other. Our powers cancel each other out.”

"Cancel each other. So you can’t persuade me to fall in love with you or something? You can’t tempt me to the dark side as it were? Because you are my type and are very attractive.”

The demon cheeks were beginning to turn as red as his horns. “I’m not a damn incubus. That’s a whole other demonic aspect. And besides... I have standards Craig! I’m not gonna get with any random demon or human!”

“So what **_IS_** your type?”

Tweek narrowed his eyes. “When did this go from us talking about religious dogma bullshit to you... Are you hitting on me?! Dude! You’re a priest!”

“Youth pastor technically. You didn’t answer my question.”

“GAH!”

Tweek stood up and unfurled his wings to their full span and allowed his human legs to shift to his demon ones. “Are you **_really_** a priest...youth pastor...whatever Craig?! Are you really what you say you are? You could be lying to me! You could just be a test that one of the lesser demons like to pull to increase their social standing! You could-”

The demon had taken a step forward but true to his word, he was more clumsy on his hooves than his feet. Tweek would have crashed to the floor if Craig hadn’t broken his fall.

“Well...you didn’t tell me your type, but you seem to have fallen for me. I’d do that lame ass “Fall from Heaven” pick up line, but I don’t want to be slapped.”

Tweek growled and tried to get up, but Craig seemed to have a hidden strength to him and held the demon tight (or perhaps Tweek really didn’t try).

“Your power is for people to embrace their vices, right? One of my vices is that I’m gay. Like super gay. Especially for my type, which you fit. But like all the priests I’ve met have vices they still act upon, and I know we’re not going to Heaven anyway, so why the fuck not act on our vice. You never have told me how your power works.”

“It’s...like an aura that’s always around me. And it’s more effective when it’s not obvious that I’m doing it, like just saying coffee is good or something and people are like “Yeah...I want coffee now.” type of thing.”

Craig nodded. “So maybe residual effects from meeting you initially? I mean the moment I saw you the other night, I was pretty smitten with you. Even after I discovered you were a demon, I still had that urge to just get to know you better and woo you.”

Tweek frowned as he shifted to get comfortable. “But if that’s the case, you wouldn’t be infatuated with me like you were the first night. It’s been a couple of days. And besides, our powers are cancelled. It would have already dissipated.”

“Well, maybe you’re just that interesting to me.”

“You’re still hitting on me.”

“Is it working?”

Tweek chuckled. “You’re definitely one of the weirdest humans I’ve met and for sure the weirdest priest. Why the fuck did you even become a priest again?”

“I like helping people. Even if I know it’s all bullshit, especially now, there’s still a lot of people that just need that kind of salvation in their lives. They’re ignorant sheep that need to be herded.”

“I could be lying to you about all that. I _am_ a demon after all.”

Craig shook his head. “I believe you. After all, I have another source to tell me what goes on up and down there.”

“Kenny.”

“Kenny.”

“Alright. You better give me your all on wooing me. Because this should be the other way around in a normal scenario. We take it slow. And uh...hope you don’t mind red fur in your bed once we get to that point. It’s one of the only times these come out.”

“As long as you’re fine with me using said fur as a warmer for my feet. My feet are fucking cold as ice all the time, especially in bed.”

“Craig...”

“Yeah?”

“My type is tall guys with dark hair and asshole with a heart of gold attitudes.”

 

 


	3. I never thought you would become the friend I never had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cry.

She was never allowed to talk about it. To _him_ , it never happened. They had a business to run. There wasn’t any time for anything else.

She thought about him constantly. What kind of person he would have grown up to be. If he would have shared their love of coffee…no. She would have put a stop to it, put her foot down and refuse to let him be a guinea pig for the business. At least that’s what she always thought she’d do. If he were here and what had happened didn’t, she may had not had the willpower to say no that she did now.

He had been so tiny, so small and fragile. Even the bags of sugar she used to make desserts for the shop had been heavier than him. He would have fit in a coffee pot.

 _He_ never told her what happened afterwards. She had been in shock at her son coming three months early. A ten hour labor and only getting to see him once before they carted him off to ICU. A day later before she could see him again for longer than a few seconds, this time full of tubes and IVs. Sparse blonde hair, dull blue eyes. She burned the picture of her son in her head. It was the only one she had.

She never got to hold him. Never got to even touch him.

He might have survived. Babies even smaller than him had made it and had healthy normal lives. And then the heart attack happened on Day Three.

They never even gave him a name. She had poured over baby book after baby book, searching for the perfect one. But it was too late. Everything was gone by the time her shock wore off. The crib, the blankets, diapers, everything. _He_ had even got rid of the paperwork, his birth certificate still needing to be filled out.

Months later, she found the box under their bed while cleaning. A gift from her sister that had somehow fallen when she had unloaded all the gifts on the bed after her baby shower. A plush bunny, light green with blue button eyes. She protected it fiercely. _He_ never questioned the safe she bought. After all, they did have a lot of paperwork and documents they needed safe in case someone broke in. The bunny was the only thing in the safe.

———————————

She celebrated his birthday each year in her own way. There was a special type of cake she made only on his birthday, one that she had craved and made way too many while she was pregnant. She always worked that day and gave out the pieces to any of the children that would have been his age that would come in that day.

She knew them all. Knew all the children that would have been in his class. She made sure to greet each one that came in with kindness. She wondered who his friends would have been. Which girls…or boys he would have had a crush on. Would he had been a troublemaker or kept to his books?

It grew harder each year and she knew this one would be the hardest. He would have turned 21 this year. He would of become a man and her visions of her sweet little boy she never got to have hurt even more as she held and cried into the little plush bunny this time.

Every year, she wished, she pleaded, she prayed that she could have had a second chance. She wished she could have turned back time, said no to her husband when _he_ pushed cup after cup of coffee in her hands, telling her it was good for the business. How could customers know the coffee was good if one of the owners never drank it?

She knew it grew a rift between them. But she knew she couldn’t leave _him_. This was all she had, all she knew. That…and a dead son and the life of a mother she would never live.

———————————-

She knew those eyes. They were sparkling and full of life, not the dull ones that were burned in her mind, but they were the same. This young man with the wild blonde hair was a stranger, new to town, but as she handed him his Pumpkin Spice latte, she felt she had known him all his life.

“How much do I owe you ma’am?”

So polite, so sweet. So…full of life…not like…

“On the house sweetie.”

She was glad _he_ wasn’t there as she excused herself to the backroom, glad her tears fell after she closed the door.

——————————–

“I’m putting my money in the tip jar so I’m technically buying my coffee today.”

She smirked. “Well…you’re technically the hundredth sale today, so you get one of those gourmet cupcakes you’re in love with for free that equals the amount of the money you put in there.”

The young man laughed, sending a warm feeling to her heart. “One of these days, I’m gonna pay for my coffee and you’re gonna take my money Mrs. Tweak.”

“And I’ll find a hundred more ways to prevent that from happening.”

Like Hell she was gonna charge ~~her own son~~ her favorite customer for his coffee.

“You’re a good woman Mrs. Tweak. See you next week.”

She hadn’t realized she had grabbed his arm. “You know…you’ve never told me your name. It’s not fair you know mine but I don’t know my… favorite customer’s.”

He chuckled as he looked down, his cheeks growing pink. “Um…well…this is kind of funny. I’ve got like a really old embarrassing name and uh I…twitched a lot in class from anxiety, so the kids at school gave me the nickname Tweek. We kind of had a huge drug problem where I grew up and I reminded them of that. It kind of stuck even after I moved to get away from how bad it got there. I hope I don’t ever have to return.”

“Tweek…”

“Two E’s instead of an A.”

She smiled as she nodded. “Alright then Tweek. When’s your birthday? I figure since you’re so far away from home and not going back, the least I can do is make you a cake.” _‘You’re going to say December 16th, aren’t you? That’s your birthday. That’s your birthday. That’s-’_

“Um… December 16th. I’m turning 21 this year.”

“Alright Tweek, come by the 16th and I’ll be sure to have one of my super special cakes made for you! A special birthday like that deserves a special cake!”

For the first time in two decades, she allowed herself the day off, only going in to give ~~her son~~ Tweek his birthday cake. She spent the rest of the day at home, holding the plush bunny as she cried on her bed.

——————————————————

_Tweek looked up as Craig walked in the door, seeing the disappointed look on his face._

_“What’s wrong dude?”_

_Craig sighed. “Well…there’s like this one day a year where Mrs. Tweak makes this delicious cinnamon swirl cake with vanilla buttercream frosting and usually saves a piece for me since I work late, but she wasn’t working today and there was no cake. It’s so weird. She **ALWAYS** works today. She always works on December 16th. I was gonna share it with you for your birthday since you don’t normally go to the coffee shop on Wednesdays.”_

_“Oh… actually Craig… I did go today. And she was only there for a little while…to give me a birthday cake she made for me.”_

_Tweek pointed at the giant cinnamon swirl cake on the counter._

———————————————————-

“Craig told me. I came as fast as I could.”

She fell into Tweek’s open arms and sobbed as he held her tight in the hospital waiting room. _He_ had suffered a massive heart attack at the shop and try as they might, the damage was far too great. Father Maxi was in the room, performing the Last Rites.

They hadn’t slept in the same bed in years, but _he_ was still her husband. She couldn’t leave the business they built together. It was just as much her baby as…

“Everything’s gonna be okay Mrs. Tweak.”

At the funeral, Tweek held her hand and stayed with her the entire time before her sister picked her up to stay with family for the next few days.

—————————–

She dreaded opening up the shop when she came home. Even if it was only to clean since she was nowhere near ready to open again, she dreaded every minute, every step she took as she neared the building. She had thought of it her baby only days before… But now? This building was only a deathtrap. Her son and her husband were both dead because of it. How long would it be before it claimed her?

She looked up from her musings and nearly dropped her keys in shock when she finally realized Tweek was leaning near the door to the shop.

“Thought you could use some help. And to finally pay you back for all the free coffee.”

It was the first time she had smiled in days. “Oh no, young man. If you’re working for me, you’re getting paid for it.”

——————————————-

Tweek had a knack for coffee, almost like it was ingrained in him. He learned quickly and was keeping up with orders as fast as she could write them down. With Tweek’s charming personality and what she could only describe as a magic touch, the business had a massive influx of people within two weeks of her re-opening.

The coffee tasted better too. At least that’s what she thought. But even though Tweek’s new blends and combinations tasted a lot better than what her and her husband had created, she found herself actually drinking less coffee than what she normally had. She normally would have three cups drank in the first two hours of opening and most days now, she seemed to only finish one.

Tweek looked thoughtful as she told him. “Well Mrs. Tweak, coffee is meant to be savored, to fill you up with this sense of warmth and energy. You can’t really get the full feeling of coffee if you don’t stop to appreciate it for what it is.”

—————————————

She knew that Tweek was with Craig Tucker even though the young man was the priest at their church in town. Everyone in town knew. But the chemistry and love the two had for each other had brought out a warmth in town that was sorely needed.

Tweek was beaming with excitement for weeks after Craig had proposed and had been been in a lovesick mood as the talk of a wedding began to worm its way into their conversations each day.

The business was doing so well that they closed the shop on Wednesdays to reorder and clean everything. She was sketching out wedding cake designs in her office since the two had tasked her with the job of making their cake, when Tweek hesitantly knocked on the doorframe before shuffling in.

Something was wrong.

“Tweek? What’s wrong?”

She hadn’t seen Tweek so distraught since before Father Maxi had gone crazy, when the man had gone on a tangent for blacklisting any businesses that weren’t Christian friendly and had targeted Kyle Broflovski and his law practice because Kyle was Jewish.

Tweek looked like he had committed the greatest sin in the world and just needed that push to confess. She stood up and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. “Tweek?”

“P…Promise you won’t be mad at me?”

Like she could ever be mad at this sweet child.

“I promise. What’s wrong sweetie?”

Tweek took a shaky breath as he kept his head down. “The wedding’s in a few weeks and Craig and I are finalizing the wedding roster. And…I want you to take the seat reserved for my mother.”

Tweek’s parents were a taboo subject to the young man. He had never talked about them and any attempt she had made had Tweek changing the subject.

“I’d be honored Tweek…but…I know it’s a touchy subject…but what about your own parents?”

Tweek looked up at her, tears in his eyes, as he sniffed. “I’m sorry…I’ve…been lying to you.”

He had whispered it almost to the point where she couldn’t hear him, but she had heard every word.

“Lying to me…about what?”

Tweek twitched and she frowned. The office was small and Tweek was not one for tight spaces. She calmly pulled him into the large backroom and sat down on the large bags of coffee beans in the corner.

Tweek stayed silent as he paced around the room, calming himself down before standing in front of her and tapped the pentacle he wore around his neck.

Her eyes grew wide as large red wings materialized and two tufts of hair became horns. She stayed still as she took in Tweek’s appearance.

“You’re a demon.”

Tweek nodded.

“That’s not what you were worried about telling me, is it?”

It still took half an hour before Tweek spoke to her again.

“This…this is gonna sound weird…but see…when babies die, their souls are the lifeforce used to create angels and demons. It’s completely random and even and-”

“You’re my son.”

Tweek froze with a terrified look on his face. “It’s-”

“Tweek, if you’re going to tell me some line about nothing being left of my son’s soul or something then I’m going to choose to ignore that. You were created with **_MY_** son’s soul, so therefore you **_ARE_** my son.”

“Mrs. Tweak…”

She smiled as she stood up and embraced him. “Two things. One, you’re calling me Mom. And two, I wish you would have told me sooner. Now I need to scrap my wedding cake plans and start from scratch.”

————————————-

Tweek had revealed much more to her in the next few hours while she had sketched out ideas now that she knew the extent of just what this wedding between Tweek and Craig would mean.

“Heavenly Temptation is a good name. Don’t you think? Angel and Devil’s Food cake with white chocolate and mocha powder mixed in the batter. Vanilla and chocolate buttercream frosting. I’m putting your wings to use since I’m adding another tier to it than I planned originally.”

“It’s a great name mom. And any help you need, I’ll gladly give it.”

She nodded as she set her sketch down. “Now Tweek, I know the wedding comes first, but once everything settles down, we’re going to have a more serious talk. I’m sure Kyle can help us with all that we need, but we’ll need to get our story straight. You may be my son in heart and soul, but legally you aren’t. We’re going to have to get that rectified. And you, young man, are finally going to have a proper first name, so start thinking about old embarrassing names I named you that you’d rather be called your last name twice than be called by your first name.”

Tweek groaned. “Oh…you remembered that…”

“I’m your mother. I have to know all the embarrassing details about my son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe jumps around a lot but everything before the birthday talk happens before Tweek and Craig meet. 
> 
> December 16th is the day Gnomes aired and the first appearance of The Tweaks, hence it's Tweek's birthday in this. 
> 
> Title is song lyric from Spice Girl's Mama


	4. Phase 2: ??????????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set about two-three months after Craig and Tweek met

Craig had been willing to wait for a long time before they shared a bed, even to just sleep in. As much as Craig insisted he “wasn’t a typical priest” and that he knew that most of the dogma of religion was just stupid rules made up by stupid old people, there were a few things Craig still held true to.

“I just **_HAD_** to fucking say woo, didn’t I?”

Craig was courting him. Not dating, courting. Had Tweek not been a demon, he would have found the entire thing romantic as fuck. It was a rare occurrence now, even for Christians, to uphold the devotion to their chosen life partner. Fuck it, it _WAS_ romantic as fuck. To chose a demon of all things to spend the rest of their life with, especially when the other was a Servant of God and especially when Craig had wrote a **LETTER TO SATAN** to ask permission if he could (delivered by Kenny the next time he went to Hell.) He could just hear Damien laughing his ass off even now.

———————————————–

All of Craig’s plans changed however on the second night the entire apartment complex heater had gone out.

Despite Craig’s frustrating conversation with their landlord, the woman wouldn’t budge about getting the heater fixed. The lady was a definite cheapskate and Tweek heard Craig’s mutterings about “seeing the good in people”, knowing that if the man hadn’t been a priest, some of Craig’s more colorful language would come out.

Demons had really good hearing and it pained Tweek to listen to his boyfriend shivering in the next room, despite the three blankets (including Tweek’s own since he had a very warm internal temperature) wrapped around him.

The second Tweek heard teeth chatter, the demon shot up and within seconds, was in Craig’s bedroom pulling the blankets away from Craig so he could slip in.

“Tweek! What the fuck man?!”

Tweek tucked his part of the covers around himself and pulled Craig closer, using his tail to pull Craig’s legs and feet to nestle in his leg fur. “Craig, while I do find it honorable and romantic that you’re willing to go full courtship with me, I don’t want you to fucking freeze dude! I run at least a good solid hundred degrees all the time. Just…at least until the heater gets fixed. Okay?”

Craig grumbled but didn’t move and nodded as he sank his feet further in the warmth Tweek’s legs made.

——————————————–

Craig was completely asleep and Tweek was on the verge when the voices started.

 _“Time to go to work, work all night_  
_Search for underpants, hey_  
_We won’t stop until we have underpants_  
_Yum tum yummy tum day”_

Tweek shot up, prompting a whine from Craig, as the demon saw the tiny people in pointy hats shuffling through Craig’s underwear drawer.

“Craig! There’s-”

Craig opened one eye and blearily looked over his shoulder before trying to pull Tweek back down. “Mmmm, underpants gnomes. They just steal underwear. They’re harmless. Cold. Want snuggles.”

“But they’re stealing your underwear!”

“I can buy more.”

Tweek growled. “Like Hell you are! And like Hell they are! The only other person that gets to touch your underwear is **ME**.”

Despite his demon legs, Tweek made it to the window before the gnomes could leave. Tweek knew this was a silly thing to go Full Demon Mode for, but there was going to be only **ONE** supernatural creature in Craig’s apartment and that privilege solely went to **HIM**.

He picked the four gnomes up with his magic and ripped the three pairs of underwear away from them (upon closer examination, one pair was Tweek’s own which angered him even more).

_**“I̢҉ ̵̕͡AM̴͢͝ ̶͠T̶͡H҉E͏ ͏̛H̛E̸L̵̕͞L̡͏ ̸̡D̷̡EM͏O͜͠Ņ͘ ̢̧͜T͘͢WE̴͡E͝K̸. ̢I͢͢ ̸͘͝HA̢͞VE ̧̛C̴̕L҉̸A̷̵̢I̸M̶͠E͝D̸͢ ̛̛T̴Ḩ̕͡I̶S͝ ̨̧̛D̢W̸̕͡EL̴L̛͜͏I̕͞N̕G ̴A̸͠S͠ ̧҉M̕͡Y Ơ̵W҉N. ͢Y͘O͏̶U҉ ̷O͘R ͟͠A͟N͠Y҉̕ ͏Ơ͏͠F̷ ͏Y̡OƯ̕R B̧͜҉R̴E̵T̨͞H͏̧͏ŖE̷͞N ̴̢W̴̷͝H̨O̵͘ ͠C̢͟͠H͢O͠҉̶O̴S͞E̡͠ ̸TO͏ ̧͡C͜O͜͞͡M̵͢E̸̡ BA͝CK̨ ͏W̷͜I͜͡L͢͡͠L̴͞ ̵̧̛F̸̸͟ORFȨ̴I̴̷̛T ͘̕T̴H͢͞E͞I̷͝R ͡L̶̡I̛҉V̷͢E̢S̸.̷̷ ̧I̡͠ ̢O̷̵N̵L̛̕͜Y ͞A̶̡ĻL̷O͡W̷͠҉ ͜͞YǪU̷ ̨T͏O͘͝ ̷LI̢V̴̨Ę͜͝ ̴T͟͢͝O͏ ̕W͜͝A͘R͠Ņ ̶O͢͝͝THE͏RS̨͘. ̸D̨͢O ̷͠N͢O̧͢͡T̢ ̶̛RE̴̡T̷U̸͘Ŗ̵͘N̶͢!̢̧”҉̵** _

Tweek threw the four gnomes out the window, not caring that they were on the third floor. The demon was pissed and had he not had a near frozen boyfriend to warm up, would have flew around South Park to release his pent up rage.

The demon returned to Craig’s room, finding the man had nested himself back in the blankets, looking up at Tweek sleepily.

“They will not return. Or they will die.”

Craig nodded and peeled out a small corner of blanket, letting Tweek know to climb back in bed. Craig immediately latched on to the demon as soon as Tweek had settled, snuggling as much as he could, sighing in comfort at the warmth Tweek was putting off.

Tweek chuckled as he made himself comfortable. Tomorrow he’d have to do a little influencing to put dirty thoughts of the two in their landlord’s head that they could only do if the heater was fixed and it was warm, but there was nothing Tweek could do at the moment. At least they had this one night. Damn courtship.

———————————–

“So…uh…Tweek? You joining me for bed?”

Tweek looked at Craig in confusion. “But the heater’s fixed.”

“I know. But…uh… I wasn’t lying about my feet getting really cold. Even with the heater on…”

“What about our courtship thing?”

Craig chuckled nervously. “Well…we’re technically not doing anything…just…sleeping.”

Tweek smirked as he placed his bookmark to hold his place. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me for long.”

It would still be another two months before Craig just said “Fuck it.” and the two sinned as best they could in the confessional after the last confession of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Tweek's Demon Speak:
> 
> I am the Hell Demon Tweek. I have claimed this dwelling as my own. You or any of your brethren who choose to come back will forfeit their lives. I only allow you to live to warn others. Do NOT return!


	5. Resisting Bacon is Futile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set a few days before the plan to get rid of Father Maxi

Tweek didn’t think it was possible, but there were side effects of a priest and demon being friends (with benefits). Of course, hardly  _ANY_  priest would call a demon their friend in the first place, so all knowledge in what exactly happened when the event took place was just hearsay.

Namely the fact that the pentacle Craig blessed for him in order for him to hide his demon features actually worked. Tweek had needed some sort of amulet that was spelled to specific instructions and Tweek didn’t know of any Satanic Priests around for hundreds of miles. It was too risky to fly to one and the demon couldn’t hide his features well enough on a lengthy plane or bus trip. He could have gone back down to Hell and entered into another portal to get to one, but returning to Hell would have counted as a defeat and he wouldn’t be able to leave for at least three weeks.

They had no access to the tomes they needed to spell the pentacle, which Craig had assured the demon he researched the symbol fully, so the two spent all night preparing some sort of prayer using Craig’s religious books and Tweek’s knowledge of the occult. Tweek was worried at first that the pentacle necklace they were using was an upright star instead of the typical upside down one, but Craig had pointed out the loophole that from Tweek’s viewpoint, the star would be upside down when he looked down at it.

Craig was ready to rip the necklace off once Tweek put it on in case something went wrong, hence Craig only put a prayer on the pentacle and not the chain and used a thin piece of string to affix it to Tweek’s neck at first.

It shouldn’t have worked. Their powers would have cancelled each other out, but Craig deduced that since he wasn’t actively trying to  _ **hurt**_ Tweek or get rid of him, bullshit loophole logic played out again.

All Tweek had to do was tap the pentacle once to hide his demon features and twice to bring them back.

————————————

“It’s a pentacle! Pentacle! There’s a difference! Gah!”

Craig walked over to his boyfriend, who was arguing with the next person in the long line of Church goers that were taking Father Maxi’s words to heart and attacking anything that wasn’t Christian.

Tweek had been on edge for weeks, not only because there had been several near misses on people ripping off Tweek’s pentacle necklace despite him wearing the thing for months at this point with no problem, but the animosity that the people of South Park were expressing to other citizens of the town for not being Christian.

“Mrs. McNamara, did you know that the pentacle is actually one of the oldest religious symbols in Christianity and was the first and most important of the Seven Seals that represented the seven secret names of God? It also represented the five wounds of Christ, especially when the star was upside down and was the preferred symbol Christians adorned before the cross became the more used symbol of faith. It actually didn’t become associated with Satanic practices until about two hundred or so years ago.”

By the time Craig was done talking, a significant group of the church parish had gathered around to listen to the youth pastor, most looking guilty as they glanced at Tweek.

Craig looked around before taking Tweek’s hand. “I think the lesson we all learned today is to not judge anyone based on first impressions and assumptions. I see many of you look guilty about something. Church is out of session, but I expect to hear many confessions after the next sermon.”

Tweek waited until the Church was out of view before squeezing Craig’s hand. “I guess you weren’t lying when you said you did your research on the artifact you blessed. Even I didn’t know a lot of that.”

“Wanted to make sure that whatever I used didn’t hurt either of us in the long run. And what better symbol than one used by both sides.”

“Craig… you didn’t have to stick up for me like that. I’m way stronger than a human.”

“I know. I know you can hold your own, but I’m afraid that if I didn’t say something, that it was going to escalate to a dangerous point. And that’s the first time you’ve been actively been agitated for yourself about what’s been happening. I know you’ve been on edge about Kyle for a few weeks.”

The demon grumbled. “Religious beliefs are fucking ass. Seriously, the hatred that a lot of people have for others of different religions is so…human. I mean… like aside from a bit of beef that Satan and God have with each other, they’re still civil with each other, especially when important business needs to be discussed. Jesus  ** _DID_**  ask Damien if he wanted to join the Super Best Friends, but Pip is still quite human despite the powers Damien has given him and is still vulnerable to stronger demons so he mainly stays around Pip.”

Craig looked up to see if he could spot Kyle and Stan, who the two were meeting for lunch. “I was surprised I had such a big crowd listening to me. I am the Youth Pastor, but I’ve never had that much respect from that many people in the congregation before. I’m sort of low on the religious totem pole as far as they’re concerned. Well…except for confessions.”

“That…did intrigue me as well. I’ve never seen anyone garner  **THAT**  much rapt attention like you just did. I mean, I’ve gone to several of Father Maxi’s sermons and, while he is good as far as priests go, their eyes and souls just feel like they’re obligated to listen. But with you…it was almost like…”

Tweek’s eyes grew wider and he stopped walking, forcing Craig to jerk back for a second.

“Tweek?”

“You took over the confessionals for Father Maxi a month ago to help me eat. And you told me that hardly anyone really confessed to Father Maxi, but you have an increasing number each time. And last month we… We have to test this.”

“Test what?”

————————————

Kyle and Stan were standing outside the small restaurant they agreed to meet at when Craig and Tweek walked up. Both looked tired, Kyle even more so, the redhead having dark circles under his eyes. The loss of clients and verbal insults he had been getting for the last few weeks had really seemed to take a toll on him.

Tweek and Kyle hugged while Craig and Stan shook hands before Stan fist-bumped a spot on Tweek’s back where he knew the base of one of Tweek’s wings was.

Tweek pulled back and squeezed Kyle on the shoulders. “Dude… this is gonna sound kind of weird, but could you do Craig and I a favor? I’ll explain later if it works. It’s uh… a powers thing.”

Kyle looked at Tweek in confusion before noticing Tweek pointing to his pentacle. “Oh…uh sure dude.”

They waited to be seated before Tweek closed his eyes for a moment placing his hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

“Alright boys, what are you having?”

Stan ordered a veggie burger and salad, Craig ordered the grilled chicken burger and a large plate of fries for the table to share, and Tweek ordered the roast beef special the restaurant was having that day.

“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger, hold the pickles and onions.”

Both Craig and Stan looked at Kyle in shock as the waitress walked away, Stan even more so. “Dude! Bacon?! What the hell man?!”

Kyle shrugged. “I’m craving bacon. I haven’t been Kosher since leaving home and mom and dad actually don’t care. You know that Stan.”

“I know dude, but you don’t eat it in public.”

“Well, half the town hates me for being Jewish and I need comfort food and maybe if these assholes see I’m eating the “forbidden meat”, they’ll leave me the fuck alone.”

There was hurt in Stan's eyes as he took Kyle’s hand that was on the table and squeezed it. “Kyle…sorry. I wish I could do more.”

“It’s…fine Stan. You just being here is enough for me. At least I’ve got clients from out of town that aren’t so backwards in their ways. And at least they haven’t resorted to vandalism and graffiti on my building. I’ll be fine.”

“Yet. This  _ **IS**_  South Park Kyle.”

“Stan…please…just drop it.”

Their meals came and Kyle tore into his burger, devouring it like he hadn’t eaten in years, happily moaning as he chewed each bite.

Meanwhile, Tweek had texted Craig’s phone. Craig looked at the message and then at Tweek in confusion, but waited until Kyle was completely done with his meal.

“So…uh Kyle, what happens after a Jewish person eats pork? It’s like a sin against your religion, right? Do you guys have to confess or something?”

Kyle shook his head. “It’s starting to become more commonplace among the younger generations and I don’t feel guilty at all when I eat it at home, but if it will make you feel better and I was feeling reckless eating it in public so... Craig, I totally ate pork in a public establishment even though I’m Jewish and even though you’re a Christian pastor, I’m confessing about this because you’re the only one here and both you and Stan had a problem. So…there. Why did I just do that?”

Tweek put his hands on his face to keep in whatever noises he was trying to make, forcing the others to turn to look at him. The demon was glad they had been seated in the corner in a less populated part of the restaurant, otherwise his outburst would have caused a scene or got people to stare at them.

“Tweek? You okay dude?”

Tweek looked up at Craig and tried as best he could to not bust out laughing. “Craig…I think we found another side effect of the demon/priest friend thing. At least…one that happened after our um…romp in the confessional.”

The demon turned to Kyle and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Kyle, I am  ** _SO_**  sorry. But I did say I had to test something and couldn’t tell you because that would have influenced your choices. I uh…coerced you into eating bacon. And Craig coerced you into confessing about it.”

Craig looked at Tweek in shock. “I did what?!”

The three looked at Tweek in confusion as Tweek sighed. “Craig’s been getting a  **LOT**  of people confessing to him at church, even more than Father Maxi had and it happened after Craig took over confessionals and after we…made love in the booth. And today, Craig had most the church’s attention talking about a matter that they would all have to confess about and we noted that it was unusual and I think…my power kind of rubbed off on Craig. I was trying to test that.”

Kyle punched Tweek lightly in the arm. “And you couldn’t just say that before because…?”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Because you’re an asshole and if you had known what I was trying to do, it would have affected the results. I couldn’t do it to Stan because he’s total vegetarian, but I knew you ate pork. You know I wouldn’t actively hurt you Kyle. I owe you like a week’s worth of coffee for the deception. I’m sorry dude.”

“You’re throwing in a muffin every other day.”

“Deal.”

Craig slapped his hands on the table lightly. “Okay, that’s settled. Now what’s this about your power rubbing off on me?!”

“Craig, I think that my power of influencing people to embrace their vices rubbed off on you in such a way that people actively  **WANT**  to confess the vices they make to you. Just think about it, hardly anyone confessed with Father Maxi. That number grows each time you do it. You told most of the people today that they basically were sinning for making false assumptions because I don’t know if you saw it, but they looked like they had downright murdered someone, that was the amount of guilt they looked. And Kyle just had this need to confess after you said something despite him being Jewish. Dude, you’ve got the power to influence people.”

Craig stared at Tweek before slowly smirking. “Influence…”

Tweek shook his head. “Craig…power corrupts you know.”

“Yeah…but if I used said power for good…like say make people feel really really fucking guilty for judging people who aren’t in our little religious flock, especially if it plays into my plan of usurping Father Maxi.”

“What!?”

Craig was glad the four were secluded as the three practically yelled in his ears. “I’m tired of it. Kyle, you guys put me through a lot of shit during school, but we were still friends growing up. I’m tired of seeing you ostracized for every fucking thing, especially since you were usually the only voice of reason. And I can see how much this is affecting you…all three of you. I told Tweek this morning that this is only going to escalate unless it’s stopped. The problem is Maxi. He’s got to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving Stan and Kyle's relationship a mystery for now since even I don't know where I'm gonna take them. All I can say is that they both care a lot about each other and love each other very much.
> 
> Kyle knows that Tweek's a demon. That's a story for another day.


	6. Hey there Father. It's me...ya demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Hell (heh) to write. I learned a lot about exorcisms though.

_“Sorry you weren’t here to see me get my wings.”_

_“It’s fine. They’re beautiful by the way. Not as beautiful as your face…but…”_

_A giggle. “Stop that mister. You’re gonna make me blush.”_

_“So, have you been assigned yet?”_

_“Somewhere in Germany. They haven’t decided where yet.”_

_“I’ll never get to see you though. That’s too far for me to travel.”_

_“I…I know. But beggers can’t be choosers, right? I’m just glad I get an assignment on Earth instead of having to stay up here. I’ve always wanted to see it.”_

_“I know. Hey! God kind of owes me a favor, so I could call it in! Get you assigned to the city I live in. I can find you a place and job real easy. And you would just love South Park!”_

_“South…Park? C-Colorado?”_

_“Yeah? That’s the place!”_

_“……..”_

_“Leo?”_

_“Kenny… That’s… That’s where I’m from. Before I came here…that’s where I lived before…before they…”_

———————————————

It wasn’t unheard of for a priest to go against another. For Craig to go against the leader of his own church was another matter. Father Maxi had more or less been a vital part of Craig’s studying and acceptance into the Calling, so this felt like going against his **_OWN_** father. However, Thomas Tucker loved Tweek like a son already and Craig was pretty sure that Maxi was almost to the point of going after gay people once his exercise of religion was done.

Craig bought Tweek a pitchfork in Denver while on a church supply run, using Kenny’s offer of a ride to pick up his own “supplies”, causing Tweek to cackle of the hilariousness of the local drug dealer and the soon to be local priest being buddies with each other.

———————

The two were driving back when Kenny turned down the music.

“Hey Craig, can I ask a favor?”

“Your clients don’t need any more influencing to buy. The drugs do that for them. I thought you made a pretty decent living.”

Kenny laughed and shook his head. “Nah dude, that ain’t it. And you’re right, I do make a good living. Especially when most the town does this shit. Hence needing supplies so soon in the month. Nah, talking about a job offer. You’re gonna need the Youth Pastor role filled if your plan works and you become the Head Priest, right?”

“No selling to my church **_IN_** church either Kenneth.”

“Dude! Not me! A friend of mine. Leopold. He’s an angel. Just got his wings like a few days ago and was about to be assigned. He’s kind of low on the social ladder and nearly got assigned to the middle of fucking nowhere, but I vouched for him that I’d find him something here in South Park. You know me and God are tight with each other. Youth Pastor would be a good job for him. He knows his stuff.”

“A friend huh… let me guess. He got blonde hair?”

Kenny lightly punched Craig in the arm. “Yeah…you know my type Tucker. Yeah, we’re **THAT** level of “friends” Mr. Nosey, like you and Tweek. And…I had another reason why I wanted him here. He’s…exactly like Tweek.”

“What do you mean?”

Kenny frowned as he gripped the steering wheel. “He was supposed to be one of us Craig. Like Tweek. He should have been our frie-”

“Who? Who did he belong to?”

“You remember the Stotch’s? The couple that lived next to Cartman?”

Craig furrowed his eyes. “Stotch. Stotch… Wasn’t that the couple that the wife found her husband was gay and cheating on her so she murdered him and committed suicide by driving her car into the lake when we were ten?”

Kenny nodded. “That’s the only reason Leo will even come to South Park. He wasn’t sure what he would do if his parents were still here. He doesn’t have Tweek’s tough exterior. Or forgiveness. That’s kind of a thing you need to have when you’re an angel.”

“Do you know what happened? Does he?”

“He does but it’s painful for him to talk about. It’s his story to tell, but he told me that if it came up, I could give you the bare bones of it. He got grounded without food for crying.”

Craig turned to Kenny, anger in his face. “Tweek told me all about demons and angels and how they’re made! How the _**FUCK**_ do you ground a **_BABY_**!? Especially for crying!? He was a fucking baby!”

“Toddler. Leo had barely turned two.”

Craig grew still before closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. “Kenny?”

“Craig…dude… I-”

“He’s got a job. Even if we can’t get him at the church, he’s got one. We’ll find something. Tweek will vouch at the coffee shop, Stan’s always needing help at the shelter and they actually pay their employees well, Kyle could get him filing paperwork. He’s got a job here Kenny. Get him home. Leo belongs with us, especially if they’re not here.”

——————————————

It had taken a week to set up the plan. Craig had stayed over each day to replace Holy Water with regular water and re-bless each of the objects Father Maxi and he used for prayers, exorcisms, and demon banishings. Stan and Kyle were on standby in Stan’s truck with medical supplies should either of them get hurt. Craig hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Getting Father Maxi to rush to the church was simple. The man just loved exorcisms and from the brilliant acting Tweek was doing to convince the man he was possessed, Craig could definitely tell the priest was getting a boner from the sounds Tweek was making. (Craig was getting his own for an entirely different reason.)

“L-Let’s get him inside Craig! I didn’t know it was this bad!”

Craig nodded as he picked the “struggling” Tweek up and rushed him inside the church after Father Maxi. “I would have called sooner before whatever is inside him got this strong. He’s got anxiety pretty bad and can keep it in control but he’s been out of his pills for a few days and I thought it just the result of that. But then he started talking in Latin and I knew something was wrong.”

 **̴̴̶̴͘"̵̶͏S̨̧̕̕͢a̵̶c̕͞͠e̡͏̸r̴̕͞d̵̷͡o̢̨ş͜ ͏͏m͏̷͘e͢͟͢͜͡a̡͟͡͝m͢͟͝͞ ͜m̢͝e̸͞ņ̢t̷̸͝ųl͜͡a̢m̨͟͜͢͟ ̢͟s̷̡̛͡u̧͢͞g͢͟ą̡͡r̸̨͜ę̵̢͞!̛͢"̸̨҉**   (Suck my dick priest!)

Craig was glad not many of the candles in the room Father Maxi liked to perform exorcisms in were lit, so the man couldn’t see the slight blush on his cheeks. As cliched as it was, hearing Tweek’s demon voice for the first time was heavenly to his ears and definitely turned him on.

Tweek snarled as Craig held him down on the heavy table in the middle of the room, spitting on him as he tied one of his wrists down. His eyes grew black and Tweek let out a low guttural scream as his second wrist was secured to the table.

Craig was glad that Tweek wasn’t human as the demon’s screams sent shivers down his back. Even though it was just for show, if Tweek had been human, his voice would have been shredded for weeks. Craig flipped Tweek off once Maxi’s back was turned, the sign they agreed on for Tweek to drop the act for a second, as Craig tied Tweek’s legs up without resistance from the demon.

Father Maxi handed Craig a bottle of Holy Water and a large silver cross. “This demon inside Tweek is strong. One of the strongest I’ve seen in a human of Tweek’s nature. This is going to take both of us.”

It took all of Craig’s willpower to not chuckle at the demon line. ‘Of course the demon in Tweek is strong, it’s like it’s been in there for over twenty years.’

Tweek’s demonic giggling made up for it as he turned his head to look at the two and smiled an unnatural looking smile.

 **͠͡͡"̶̧͟͡E͞͞g҉̵̡̛͟o̸͜͏̴̷ ̧͜d̵͢i̶̷̡l̸͟ą̶c̶e͜ŗ̶̷̸͞a̧͡҉n҉̸̷ţ̷͝ ̷̡̛p̶̨̡͘a̧̛͘ţ̵͢͠r͝͝į̵̷͝s͜͝͠͝͞ ̴̡͝o̧s͘̕͜͝s̸͢ą̷̛͟ ̴͢e̵̷̢̨͠x̷̵̴ ̴̨͘͟͡c̵̢͘͠a͞r̡̛̛n͏e͢͜͠.̷̸̴̨ ̶͘E̸̵̴t̡̛ ̷̴i̴̢n̛͞ ̵̕͞u̸̢͜͝n̨͘͘͘o̡̧͠ ̵̵̡͢͡c͜͠r͝i̧͏͢͠n̛ę̵̧̨ ͡͏̧҉͢n̛̛͘i̢̧g̷͟҉r͏̨͡o̸̢̧͝ ̶͟͢p̴̕͞ȩ͡t̷̨͠ ̷̢̧f̧͟͜͝͝a̷͞͏c̵̡̛̕͟ę̷̛͝r̢̢̕͢͠e̶͢ ҉͡m̧͢͜͢͡i̸̴͢͠͏r̶̴̨͞a҉̸.̷̶"̴̷̛͘** (I will tear the flesh from your bones Father. The black haired one will make a wonderful pet.)

Father Maxi frowned as he forcefully grabbed Tweek’s head and slammed it back down on the table, holding it tight.

Tweek winced for a second before setting his eyes on the priest and licked his lips.

**I̛͘ ͏̴̸͞s̴̡̧͜ę̵̛҉e̵̢̕.̷̨͠ ̡̢̡̛͝Y̡͠͞o͏̡u҉̴ ͝͏҉͟w̧̛͏a͏͏͘͢n̴̷͡t̛҉҉̢ ͘͝͞ţ̛̕͟o̧̡͜ ̷͞p҉̵͏l̡͘ą̛y̸̶ ̴̛r̴̶̨͟͠o̴̡̧͟u̶̵͟g̢̕͞h̶̛̕.̷͘ ͏͏̧͝҉**

Father Maxi held up the cross he was holding, motioning with his head for Craig to do the same.

“In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Let God arise and let His enemies be scattered: and let them that hate Him flee from before His Face!”

With each line of the prayer Father Maxi spoke, Tweek increased his struggling and giggling, not enough to break his binds, but just enough to trip the priest up. Both he and Craig could tell that Father Maxi was getting frustrated that there was no improvement with each passing minute.

“Craig, the Holy Water!”

Craig did as he was instructed and threw the water on Tweek, who only laughed.

**“̡T͘͝h̡҉̶̕͡a̧҉̵̸t̨͜͞͡ ͘͟͝H̶͝o̶͠l̵y҉͟͏͘͡ ̶̨҉̛͘W͜͏̨͠a҉̢͏͜t̨̕e͠r͏͘ ̶̡̕͟͠m̷į͡g̶̴̸̨h͢͠t̸̨͞ ̷̨͜a̧͡s̸̢͘ ̢̕͡w̵̨̕͡ȩ͡͝͏̷ll̕͟͠͡ ̕͠͝b̵̢͘e̶̛͘ ͠͞t͠a̧̕͞͏p͜͞͏̢̛ ̵͏̨͠w̸̢̕͢͜a̢̢͟͜t͜͠͏e͟͝r̸͠.̷̧͘ ̢̧͟Y̵̛͠o̷̧͜͞ų̶͜ ̢̡m̧͠u̷͟s̸̶̛͏t͘͝ ̢̢͠bę ͢ą̶͘ ̴̕͝t̨͝ę̵͏̶̕r̨̛̕͜͜r͟i̧̛b̷̛l̶͢e҉̵̶͘͘ ̶͝p̵r̵͡i̵̛͜͞e͘s͏̵͝t͝ ̷̴̵i̶̶f͏̵͏͜͠ ̴̧͘͟T̷͢H̵̴A̷͝҉̨T̶̸'͏̴͘͜҉S̵̸͘͡͝ ͘͝͞ņ̶͞o̷̷̵t̸͝͠ ̸̷̧̕e̴͟v̸̶͠͏ȩ͜n̷̴̸̢ ̸̴̢w̕ǫ͠r̵͡k͠į̷̛͜͡n̴͞҉̕g͠͡.͏̛̕ ͏̡͜P̵̧҉a̸͘̕͜͞th͏͠e̸̴̷t̸̡͝i̷̴̢͘͢c̴̷͞ ̶͟͞h̶̛͝u͏͘҉m͏a̵̡̕͢͞n̨̢̕.̢͞"̷̛͘**

Tweek gave Craig an intense stare, twitching one of his eyes slightly, letting Craig know that the next phase of the plan should start.

“Father! I think I might know why the demon’s so strong! Tweek’s pentacle! It must be cursed!”

Father Maxi turned to look at Craig and then back to Tweek, narrowing his eyes at the necklace. “That might be it. Where did Tweek get this anyway? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Craig looked down, hurt in his eyes. “It’s my fault. I got it for Tweek because he wanted to wear a religious symbol to represent his Faith, but because of his home life before he moved here, the Cross and most of the modern symbols brought up bad memories for him. So I researched and found that the pentacle is still used. I found that in the shop I get most of my religious books. If I had known it was cursed…”

The priest shook his head and put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Do not think this is your fault. Demons can live and hide anywhere. You know this Craig. Now, let’s end this.”

Father Maxi readied himself as he grabbed Tweek’s pentacle, not realizing that Craig had stepped way back to grab Tweek’s pitchfork he had stashed before calling the priest.

“Demon, we have found your weakness. Your time has grown short. You **_WILL_** be forced out this night!”

The chain easily snapped as the man pulled.

Normally, Tweek’s demon features just instantly materialized without the bat of an eye. But Tweek was making sure Father Maxi got the full demonic experience. The table shattered and a gust of strong wind flooded the room, blowing out the candles, giving Craig time to throw Tweek’s pitchfork to him before Father Maxi could see.

Tweek laughed deeply as the candles re-lit, illuminating his demonic features as he stood tall before the two. Full Demon Mode Tweek was a sight to behold. Normally Craig was slightly taller than Tweek, even with the slight raise in height with his goat legs. Now, Tweek easily stood a foot taller than Craig, his legs bristling with black tipped red fur. His tail was longer and ended in a more sharper point. The same went for the horns on his head, nestled in his now pitch black hair. Tweek’s shirt was gone, showing that he had a slight red tint to his skin. He easily had a ten foot wingspan as opposed to the three to four he usually had and you could clearly see the black veins in the red membrane. Sharp black nails, full black eyes, and sharp teeth completed the look.

Craig had to bite his tongue from blurting out how hot Tweek looked.

**"̸̴͜͟W̸̷h͡͏a͢͜͢͝t̢͘҉͠'͏̸̨͜͠s͏̴̕͝ ̴̴͢t̴̸̢h̴̕͜͢ȩ͏̕҉ ̶̧̕̕͞m҉̶a͘̕͜͟t̸̢͘t̛͘͠e̢̢͢͝͡r̡͞ ͏̨͢F̢͠a̵̧͟͢t̡͞͠h̡̕͢e̢͞r̸̴?͟ ̷͝N̸̢̕͢ȩ͢v̴̕͘ę̷̵̢̕r̷̢ ̧͞͡b̶̨e҉̸̶e̴͠n̴̸͟҉̸ ̧͜͞͠i̷͡n̕͜ ͢͢͝t̷̡h̴͟͟e̷͏ ̵̛͠͡p̴̷̵r͜͜͜e̵̡̧͝s̕͡͏e̕͜n̶c̡̢e͝҉ ̨̧o̸̷̕͟f̶͡ ̷̛̕͜͠a̵̶ ̢̧t̛͘͠r̸̕͢͡u͜e̛͟ ̨̨d̵̴̛e̶̴͜͠m҉͟͡o̡̨n҉͘҉ ҉̶̴͟͡b҉̧ȩ͡͞f̨͡ǫ̷̕͢ŗ̶̷͜͞e҉͏̢?͘͠ ̴̶̨̕͘I̧̢̨ ̡҉c̶̢͜͠͞a̢͡n̸̢͝͏͜ ҉̴͡s̵̶̷m͝͡e̸̸͜͜l̸̷̢̧l̵̛͜͜͠ ̷t̵͏̢̛h̸̛͜͞e͜ ̴̴̶f̷̴͢ȩ͜a̢̕͢͝r̢̢͡ ̧̢̛͢͞o̵͡n̵ ҉y̛͜͠o̴͡҉u̸̧̧.͘͏͞"̷͏͟**

Father Maxi held up the cross he had and began to recite a prayer, only for the cross to be yanked out of his hand. He looked up and gasped as the demon in front of him smiled, cross lazily in his hand, before it melted.

**"̧͞I̸'̷̛͜͡m̵̕͡ ̵̛͘͢no̶̡t̶̷͟͢ a͢͝͞ ̡͜͡f̶̢u̧҉͜͠c̵k̢i̵n̡͘͏g͘͠͞͞͡ ͟w̵͘͝e͜͡͏̛r̢͏e̶̵̷͞w̵̸̛o̶̡͏̷̕l̷̛̛͜͡f͘͏̡̛ ̢̛F̨͞a̴̶͝ţ͞h̵͠͞e̵͞҉r̛͡.̶̡ ͢I̴̧̕̕͢ ̡̢̛f͘҉̷̢e̵҉ę̵̷͟͝l̸̕ ̷̸̨̧͜i̸͞n̴̡s̨͘͞u̵͟͞l̛͏͞t̛͟e̛̕̕͟͞d̶̸̵͟͞.̶͢͜͝"҉̸̛͜͠**

The priest took a step back, fear in his eyes. “Craig! Run! We need the-”

**"͘͟Ḩ͞͞e̷͝͏͏'͟͏s̢͘ ͜͢n̷͠o̵̢͝t̵ ̢͝g͜͜͏̕o̕̕͘͠i҉͠n̵̡͟͟ģ͘͠ ̷̨̕a͞҉͠n͢y̸̸̛͝͞w̛h̨͡e̵̛͢r̴͏ę͢͠͝!͜ ̸͞͡Ḑ̢͝i͡d̨̧̡͝҉n̵҉̶̨'̴̵̢͠t̸̴̵ ̶̧͢I̕͏̴̡ ̧͢͏͘s̨̕͠a̶̸͏y̸̡̕͞ ̨̡̛͞I̶ ̧c̴͞h̕͢͜͢͠o̶͘͞͝s̷̡̧̛͞e͝҉͡ ̴̡h͞҉i҉̡͞m̷͡ a̶̶͢s̵̛̕͝ ̴̵m̨y̶ ҉̸̴p̷͞͡e̴͘͢͠͏ţ̸͜!̧̨?̷̡̧͢͠"͏͜**

Craig moved to run, but Tweek wrapped his tail around the man’s body and squeezed, forcing the “struggling” Craig to gasp and “pass out”. Tweek set Craig’s body down before turning back to Father Maxi.

**"̷͟͡I̡̨͘t̷̛͟͏'̷̡̕͟͜s̶͘ ̷̷̶̡͜t̕͞͞i̧̨͢͡m̵҉̸͏e҉̨̢ ̨͝w̷̸e͘ ̸̧͘ȩ̸n̨͡d͡͡ ̴̢҉t̸̶h̶̵̢͞i̷̛͞s̴͘͟͟͝ ̶̧͠͞͠F͏̵͢͝a͟͏͘͝t̛҉̸h̷͟͝͞e̷̢҉͞͏r͏.̸̢͜ ̵̢̕͜W҉̨͡h̨̕͟͜a̕͝ţ̷͠͝ ̷҉̢ḑ̶̕͟ơ͟͜͡ you ̨͏f͢҉̵̢e̕a̢̧͏̢r͠҉͠ ̸t̵͡h̶̢͝e̵͘͢͝ ͢͟͟m҉̕o͘̕͟͞s͘͡t̢҉̶͞ ̵̧I̢̧ ͟͞͡͏w̧͜o͢҉̛͟n̷̛̕͠d̢͡͏͟e̶̢͡r̡͘̕?̵͞"̸̴̨̢**

In a second, Tweek was right in front of the man and picked him up by the neck. He lifted him up before throwing him as hard as he could into the wall.

The man shook in fear as Tweek walked closer, the demon’s smile becoming more sinister with each step. “No! Please! Stay away! Stay away demon!”

——————————-

Tweek shivered as he wiped the new set of tears from his eyes and accepted the coffee that Mrs. Tweak handed him. “Th-Thank you.”

“No problem sweetie. I have to get back to the shop, but I just wanted to see that you were okay. I’m not opening tomorrow, so rest up, okay?”

Tweek nodded and hugged the woman before pulling Craig’s coat closer to him.

Kyle walked up and sat beside Tweek, causing Stan’s truck to dip a little. He put his arm around Tweek and gave him a squeeze. “Stan’s still helping the orderlies get Father Maxi in the asylum’s van and Craig’s still talking to the police. You doing okay?”

Tweek shakily nodded as he lightly rubbed one of his wrists, one of the only injuries Tweek had actually been concerned about. “Thanks for being here.”

Kyle smiled. “Well, you’re my best friend. Not Stan level best friend, but…you know.”

Craig and Stan walked up, Craig frowning as he glanced at all the onlookers that had gathered at the Church. “Stan’s giving us a ride home.”

“Can we eat first?”

Craig turned to look at Stan and Kyle. “You guys hungry? That was quite an ordeal and now that Tweek mentioned it, I’m starving.”

Stan nodded. “Well after all that happened, I’m not surprised. That was… That demon really messed him up bad. You should have heard what he was screaming. Let’s go.”

———————————–

The four waited until they were several miles from South Park, on their way to Denver, when they all burst out laughing.

Kyle turned around and fist bumped Tweek. “I can’t believe that actually fucking worked! Sorry again about your wrists Tweek.”

Tweek rubbed his wrist again. “It’s fine. This will heal in about a week or so and I guess it’s good since I need to be a convincing victim.”

“I should have known Father Maxi would have doused the damn ropes in Holy Water! I feel so-”

“Don’t Craig. At least I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and the ropes only got me in a few places. And like I said, they’ll heal in about a week.”

———————————-

The official story was that Father Maxi had been possessed by a demon and the demon had chosen Tweek as a sacrifice to boost his power. Luckily, the blessing in Tweek’s pentacle had been so strong, that it knocked the demon back just enough for Craig to come in and rescue Tweek and perform an exorcism on the Father.

Unfortunately, the demon had been on the same level of power as Craig and it was through sheer willpower that Craig was able to banish the demon. The fact that the demon had been in Father Maxi so long and the intense battle between it and Craig had a grim resolution. Father Maxi had been driven crazy in the process and as much as it pained Craig, he had to do what was best and commit him to the asylum.

Both Craig and Tweek had given statements to the police and Tweek was treated for his injuries (which would all heal in a few hours with the exception of the rope burns he got on his wrists from the blessed ropes).

Most of the congregation had gathered at the church that night and it was unanimous that Craig would take Father Maxi’s place. Craig’s first sermon as the Head Priest had a record number of confessions that day.

True to his word, once Kenny brought Leo in, the blonde was hired on the spot as the new Youth Pastor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Tweek's Demon Speak: 
> 
> Sacerdos meam mentulam sugare! - Suck my dick priest!
> 
> Ego dilacerant patris ossa ex carne. Et in uno crine nigro pet facere mira. - I will tear the flesh from your bones Father. The black haired one will make a wonderful pet. 
> 
> I see. You want to play rough.
> 
> That Holy Water might as well be tap water. You must be a terrible priest if THAT'S not even working. Pathetic human.
> 
> What's the matter Father? Never been in the presence of a true demon before? I can smell the fear on you.
> 
> I'm not a fucking werewolf Father. I feel insulted. 
> 
> He's not going anywhere! Didn't I say I chose him as my pet!?
> 
> It's time we end this Father. What do you fear the most I wonder?


	7. You Scratch My Back and I'll Scratch Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set a few weeks after Craig hired Leo.

Kenny called the first silvery feather adorable. Leo had been horrified.

Molting. That time of the year where angels shed their old and damaged feathers for new ones and their golden halos dulled and cracked, unleashing an even more heavenly light from them. Despite being heavenly beings, angel wings still had to follow the rules set out from nature. Unlike birds, angel feathers would grow silvery, letting the angel know they needed to be plucked before a new feather could start growing.

Leo knew how to properly deal with his halo since the golden ring had been with him since his “birth”, but had been hopeful that since he had only had his wings for a few months, that the process would skip him since they were still fresh and new. But when Kenny had plucked that doomed feather from his wing, the angel had inwardly groaned.

In his many years in Heaven, Leo had seen what angels in various stages of molting looked like. While their wings would eventually be more luxurious in the aftermath, the middle of the process made his fellow angels look like sickly chickens.

Leo whimpered as he climbed the stairs to the attic of the church. It seemed like the only safe place to properly release the blessing on the cross Craig had given him to hide his wings and halo from humans and deal with the feather shedding away from prying eyes. He didn’t want Kenny to see the pitiful state his wings would go through.

“Leo?”

The blonde gasped as he realized he wasn’t alone when he spotted Tweek sitting on a stool in the middle of the attic. Tweek was in his demon form with a comb in his hand, red hair from his legs surrounding him on the floor.

Leo took a step back, intent on leaving without confronting the demon. While the angel knew Tweek wouldn’t harm him, Leo still felt fearful of the other blonde. Years of his older peers telling him how corrupted demons could make people still clung to his mind. It also really really didn’t help that he walked in on Tweek and Craig definitely not praying in Craig’s new office his second day there. Since then, even several weeks later, he tried to avoid the demon.

“Sorry Tweek! I didn’t know you were up here! I can-”

Tweek turned to face the angel. “You can stay Leo. It’s fine. Just…doing some-”

Several small cracks echoed through the sparse room followed by dry plops. The two looked down at the brown leathery substance that had definitely come from Tweek’s wings.

“-shedding.”

“Demons molt too?”

Several more piles of dried leather fell to the floor and Tweek groaned.

“I…kind of have the same problem Tweek.”

Leo tapped his cross, letting his wings and halo materialize. He saw several more silver wings since the last time he unleashed his wings and sighed, letting them droop, two feathers fluttering to the floor.

Tweek sighed. “I’m up here because I am _**NOT**_ about to let Craig see me like this. And it makes such a damn mess. Fur and dead skin everywhere. The wings and tail shed their skin and I shed fur like crazy. He’s gonna get worried, especially when **_they_** fall off, even though this is completely natural and I’ve been dealing with this since I first became a demon.”

“When what falls off?”

Tweek pointed up. “The horns. They fall off and leave nubs. Kind of like how deer lose their antlers. Uh, just a heads up. If I keep rubbing my head for the next few weeks or so, it’s growing pains from these assholes growing back in. So uh…if you could get Craig to back off and convince him that I don’t need to cut back on my coffee intake because it’s **NOT** me getting headaches from that. I’d appreciate it. He did that last year when this happened. I don’t want to get in that argument again.”

Leo nodded hesitantly. “Sure… Uh, do demons even **GET** headaches? I mean I know us angels do, but only when we’re faced with something completely evil and malicious that’s stronger than us.”

Tweek’s eyes widened. “Dude, that’s the **ONLY** time I get headaches. When I’m faced with something blessed by a priest on a higher rank than me. It’s actually lessened a bit though since nothing that Craig blesses phases me at all.”

“I…was wondering how that worked. How you could freely enter church and not be hurt by anything here.”

Tweek chuckled as he picked a bit of dead skin off his tail. “Well…that’s what happens when a priest tells a demon they’re friends just literally hours after meeting each other. You both get certain…perks. Especially after that first…romp in the confessional.”

“How did you two…you know…um…”

The demon rolled his eyes. “Oh…you’re gonna **_LOVE_** this story. Like love at first sight shit. Craig, in the beginning though, was a total prude. Five months after we met. It took five months before we actually had sex for the first time. Shoot, it took like three before we shared a bed to just sleep. If our apartment heater hadn’t gone out…He’s courting me you know. Courting! Not dating! Courting! I made the mistake of telling him to woo me.”

Leo’s eyes widened. “Courting? Really? In this day and age? Even us angels find the whole practice ridiculous. Too many fleeting moments and experiences.”

“He wrote a letter to _**SATAN**_ to ask if he could court me! I grew almost as red as my true demon form color with embarrassment!”

Leo smiled softly and giggled. “That is actually kind of sweet. You must be pretty high in rank if you answer to Satan himself.”

Tweek shook his head. “Actually, I answer to his son, Damien. Him and I are friends. So, lesser first class demon. But Satan basically treated me and Damien’s mate, Pip, like his children when we were growing up. He’s a better father than my real father would have been. Fucking asshole.”

The angel frowned as he hugged himself. “Same. Tweek? C-Can I ask you something?”

It was barely a whisper, but Tweek heard it clear as if the other blonde had screamed it. Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “Sure. What’s wrong?”

“K-Kenny told me that you were like me. That…you were from here. Did you remember anything? From…before…you…”

Tweek shook his head. “I died when I was three days old. Heart attack. Same damn thing that took out Richard Tweak, my real father, a couple of months back. But I know enough from what my mom’s told me while we’re working, on what kind of man he was and what kind of father he probably would have been. My gut feeling tells me that I’d probably be a fucking mess of an adult if I had lived. I’ve always been a bit jittery. I can only imagine how much that would have been amplified.”

“I remember mine. They…weren’t good people. That’s why I initially didn’t want to come here because I didn’t think I could handle seeing them. Kenny told me they were both dead.”

“Who were they?”

“The Stotch’s. Stephen and Linda. Kenny told me that mom killed dad and then herself.”

Tweek stiffened at the name before getting up from the stool and walking over to the other blonde, wrapping his arms around him. “People like your parents are sent to a special place in Hell. They’re getting what they deserve for whatever they did to you.”

Leo began to shake, sending a few of the silver feathers from his wings to fall to the ground. He hesitantly raised his arms up before wrapping them around Tweek to complete the hug the demon had started.

“My dad was out somewhere and mom was asleep on the couch. And I was hungry and kept trying to wake her and was crying when dad came in. And he blamed me for mom being asleep because he told me they couldn’t stand my crying. And he locked me in my room without food. I remember days going by without them coming in to check on me, but I heard them yelling. I would cry, but it only made them mad, so I stopped. And I got so hungry and then I fell asleep and woke up in Heaven with my halo.”

“Child abuse and molestation are serious offences in Hell. Even us demons avoid people like that. Satan deals with them directly. They’ve got their own demons that are way too vile and evil for us to even contend with.”

The angel shook his head. “You’re not vile or evil at all Tweek, despite being a demon.”

Tweek chuckled. “Say that to Father Maxi and see what response you get.”

“Well that was a special circumstance.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve still got to keep tormenting him every other week so that everything I did will stick and he doesn’t blow our entire operation here and I end up being sent back to Hell. Molting is like ten times worse. It’s hot and sticky and my wing shell doesn’t come off in these nice big clumps due to the colder weather. You actually have to peel most of it off. It’s so hard to get the pieces near the middle of my back.”

“This is my first molt but I’ve seen the older angels go through it. It’s so time consuming and there’s just some feathers that are too stubborn to fall off and we have to pick them ourselves or have someone do it for us. But we’re told to not rely on that too much since there will be many times we’ll be alone and have to figure out how to do it ourselves.”

Tweek nodded as he scratched his upper thigh, fur falling off with each scratch. “Same. I usually try to maneuver my tail to stab the pieces I can’t get too but end up stabbing my back instead. My demon limbs sometimes have a mind of their own. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve accidentally kicked Craig in the leg.”

“I killed Kenny the other day when my wings decided to smother him while we were asleep.”

Silence filled the attic before the two began to laugh hysterically.

“Kenny sent himself back from Hell early when he tripped over a rock and fell in a pool of lava one time.”

More laughter.

“I remember Kenny telling me that his friend Cartman drank his ashes before he could come back and his soul got stuck. At first he was pissed, but then when he found out that him, Stan, and Kyle had tried to replace him with other friends, he was glad they stopped since he was technically there. They were apparently a handful back when they were younger.”

“Kyle’s told me so many stories about the shit they’ve done when we have coffee most mornings. The Pip I always talk about was actually one of those friends they dragged around with them. I think the other one was a kid named Pete Melman. The only reason they picked them was they were the only other fourth graders that were blonde like Kenny.”

Leo shuddered. “Ken’s told me so many stories when he came up to Heaven and I asked him how he died that time. I’m so glad that we weren’t there then. We probably would have been those kids instead.”

Tweek nodded. “I don’t think I’d be able to be as good friends as I am with Kyle or Stan if that were the case. I haven’t met Cartman yet, but I’d probably want to murder him if I ever saw him if I had known him back then.”

“We might have been friends if we had been here with everyone else. Kenny told me we’d both be in their class if that had been the case.”

“Who says we can’t be friends now? Make up for lost time?”

Leo’s wings fluttered, causing a feather to fall. “Can an angel and demon even be friends? Wouldn’t that…be a problem?”

Tweek shrugged. “Well, I’m in a relationship with a Christian priest and you’re dating the guy that keeps the entire town in a drug induced state. Opposites attract.”

Leo laughed. “True. Our situation is anything **BUT** normal.”

“Nothing in this town is “normal”, even the church, but that’s what makes it normal in a way.”

“Tell me about it. The janitor we have here still thinks it’s weird I volunteered to clean the confessional area despite me being the youth pastor. But…I gotta eat and I don’t want to track down people confessing.”

Tweek perked up. “Eat? Wait… And opposites attract… Leo, don’t tell me that angel food is the confessions people make.”

Leo chuckled and shook his head. “It’s not the confessions, but that enlightenment they get when they confess. That freedom from the sin they committed. The greater the sin, the meatier the enlightenment.”

The demon started laughing. “Dude! That’s the opposite of what demons eat. We eat the guilt the sin gives them. The greater the sin, the meatier the guilt. I hide in the confessional with Craig while he’s in there to eat since it’s big enough for like three people. You can join us if you want sometimes.”

“When you’re not having sex in there.”

Tweek chuckled and nodded. “We’ve done it twice in there for the record.”

Leo stuck his hand out. “Friends?”

Tweek took his hand and shook it. “Friends. And now that that’s the case, can you pull off this one piece of skin that’s preventing this one part of my wing from unfurling? It’s driving me crazy.”

Leo nodded. “If you’ll help me by plucking these three feathers in the back that refuse to come out. They’re itchy.”

—————————————

“Hey Craig, have you seen Leo? I looked all over the church for him and can’t find him.”

Craig looked up from writing his next sermon and nodded at Kenny before pointing up. “I believe he took refuge in the attic with Tweek.”

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would they be in the attic?”

The priest smirked. “Well, I know that it’s Tweek’s molting season. He tried to hide it from me last year, but I kind of figured it out when he left fur and wing skin everywhere in the apartment. The amulets may hide their features, but once something falls off, it doesn’t have the protection anymore. I have no idea why he’s embarrassed about it. He’ll eventually tell me. I suspect Leo’s probably having the same thing happen. I keep finding silver feathers strewn around the church.”

“Maybe this will give them a chance to bond? I mean I know they’re complete religious opposites, but chances are they probably would have been friends.”

The two suddenly heard both blondes laughing loudly. Craig chuckled. “Well, looks like you spoke too soon there Kenny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small timeline for events that have already been established: 
> 
> Late October: Craig and Tweek meet  
> Dec/Jan: Heater goes out/Underpants gnomes  
> March/April: Molting season  
> September: Richard Tweak's heart attack  
> January: Father Maxi's usurping  
> March/April: Molting season


	8. Three Men and a Demon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set about a week or so after the Father Maxi plan.
> 
> Hey there demons...it's ya boys.

_“There’s still a dark presence in South Park.”_

_“Hmm? But I thought Craig took care of it. That’s his job.”_

_“His job is preaching and the occasional exorcism. As for those demons themselves, you know as well as I do that they don’t like to go easily. Craig claims he feels no more dark energy, but I do. Whatever got to Father Maxi, it’s still there.”_

_“So we gonna go visit then?”_

_“Yeah. It’s been a while and I’d also like to talk to this Tweek guy Craig keeps gushing over. He’s the one that got kidnapped and nearly sacrificed. There might be residual negative energy in him. He’s highly vulnerable to be possessed himself because of what happened.”_

_“Alright, I’ll call Craig and let him know we’re-”_

_“No.”_

_“No?”_

_“I…don’t want him knowing we’re coming. You know he’ll just pretend he’s busy with work and ignore us.”_

_“He’s still bitter, I know. Having to stay in South Park. I wish he could just…you know… quit. Come with us. I miss him.”_

_“I do too. Having an actual priest would really help out on restocking supplies. But you know he won’t leave until he finds that “missing part of himself” he was told by Jesus to find.”_

———————————-

Clyde sniffed and buried his head in Tweek’s shoulder, gripping the demon tighter as he cried. “I’m soooooo sooorrrrrrrry! If we had knoooooown! Craig’s gonna hate meeee forever!”

Tweek smiled awkwardly as he patted the brunette on the back. “It’s okay…uh Clyde…was it? He’s not gonna hate you. You guys are best friends.”

Clyde nodded in Tweek’s shoulder as he sobbed again.

A couple of feet away, Craig was trying to calm the shaking in his hands as he made a pot of coffee. It wouldn’t be near the level Tweek had with his coffee skills, but Token and Clyde didn’t deserve to try Tweek’s coffee yet.

“Craig…listen-”

“A call, a text, an email, a damn smoke signal! Something to let me fucking know you’d be here! So I could have fucking prepared you guys!”

Token sighed as he put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “Look dude, I know you’re mad-”

Craig spun around, anger in his face. “Mad is a fucking understatement. I’m fucking furious! The **ONLY** damn reason you guys are even still here is because of Tweek convincing me to let you have a chance to explain yourselves!”

“I still felt a dark energy in town! Supernatural! You know that’s what Clyde and I do! Hunt that dark force down! If you had fucking told us that Tweek was a demon-”

“If I had told you Tweek was a demon, you’d be here as soon as possible to banish him and have me exorcised for being charmed without even giving me a chance to explain!”

“Well what do you think would have happened once we eventually came back Craig!? Either way, we would have found out Tweek was a demon!”

Craig slammed his hands on the counter. “I don’t fucking know! But I would have thought you’d at least have the decency of not **_ATTACKING TWEEK IN THE CHURCH_**!”

**W̶̢̕͢͏I̧҉͢L҉̕L̶̵͘͏ ͏̵B̛͝O͝͠͏T̛҉҉͡H͟͝ ̷͏O̸̶̢̨F̡̨̢ ͏͘͜͟Y̵O̧͠U͞ ҉͠J̶̵U̕͘S҉̛͟͝T̨̕͝ ̸͜S̸͏T̡҉Ǫ̨͟P̴̴̛҉!̷͢?̷̨͘ Y͢͡O̶͡U̷̡'̵̨̛R̛҉̵͝E̸̶͢͞ ̛͘̕͞A̢̨͞C̴̶T̷͠͏I̢N͘͜G̛͘̕͢͜ ̧̢̛̕͠L̸͟I̡͞K̨̕͠E̵̴͜ ̸̵̨F̷̨Ư̶͏̶͝C͝͞K҉͟͟͜I̴̶͝Ņ̵̶G̡͞͝ ͢͝C̴̢͞H̸̡I̴̸͘͞Ļ̵͞͏D҉͘͘͞R̶̵͏E̕͏̸̧͞N̴̸̕͞͝!̶̢͢͟͝**

Clyde stopped his crying and sat up, giving an equally wide-eyed look at Tweek as Token was doing. Craig crossed his arms and looked down, blush prominent on his face.

“We’re not children. We’re both older than you.”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “Well then stop acting like it because Token’s right. They would have found out I was a demon in any situation so it couldn’t be avoided. No one’s hurt and we’re all on the same page now. So let’s just drop it, okay?”

Clyde nodded. “Yeah guys! Tweek’s right! I second the motion! I mean…we didn’t come all the way to South Park just to fight with Craig. And Tweek’s nice! I like him!”

Token snorted. “You only like him because he let you cry on him.”

“Exactly! Tweek’s nice!”

Tweek turned his head. “Craig babe, before you turn the coffee pot on, take out a scoop or the coffee will be too strong.”

——————–

“So, you guys are demon hunters more or less?”

Token nodded at Tweek before taking a sip of coffee. “Well, pretty much any supernatural creature that threatens our world. Especially if it’s in South Park. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s been strange shit going on since we all can remember.”

“Should I mention that I’ve known Kenny since I was a little imp and Satan’s son Damien is basically my brother?”

“Ah, so you **DO** know.”

Tweek nodded. “Craig’s also filled me in on a lot, especially all the stuff that happened when you guys were in school. It really helps to know that all the stories Kenny would tell us weren’t just made up. So, what made you two decide to be supernatural hunters?”

Token looked down and sighed. “I’m glad Clyde convinced Craig to get groceries with him. It was…originally three of us, Craig included. After all the weird stuff that Stan and his friends would drag us into and the chaos it created, during our high school years, we had finally had enough. My family has this…sixth sense about spiritual energy and I began to show signs, Clyde had inherited some sort of healing power from his mom’s side of the family, and Craig had a huge interest in learning about religions and prophecies and decided to become a priest so that once we started our profession in this, we’d have someone to dispel the dark energy should it get bad.”

“That’s not what happened, was it?”

Token shook his head. “Our Senior year of high school was spent with all three of us honing our skills. Craig spent most of his time at the church studying with Father Maxi. He got ordained a month after his eighteenth birthday…but three days after we graduated, Jesus tracked him down and gave him some… mission from his Father. Jesus told him that he needed to find “the missing part of himself” and that he would only find it here in South Park. I bet you can imagine we were furious with Craig when he told us that he wasn’t coming with us.”

Tweek gripped his coffee cup as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Craig told me something similar the first night we met. That he felt something was missing and became a priest to find it because maybe his good deeds would reward him.”

Token smiled softly. “He cares about you. Like more than I’ve ever seen him care about anything. And that’s saying a lot since you really should see him when he gets around guinea pigs.”

Tweek chuckled. “I wish we could get one, but our landlady is a total bitch and refuses to let anyone have pets. I mean…I could influence her little vice and convince her we need a pet, but it’s trouble enough when my legs start shedding and we have to frantically vacuum so she won’t think we have one already.”

“About that, I’ve been meaning to ask you. What exactly do you do anyway?”

“Like my powers? Um…I influence people to embrace their vices. Like convince someone they really really need a cup of coffee-”

“-or feel a strong pull for someone that’s their exact type?”

“Our powers don’t work on each other Token! Maybe it happened when Craig found me, but after that has all been us being truthful with our feelings for one another. I mean he’s fucking courting me.”

Token held his hands up. “Whoa! I didn’t mean it like that Tweek! Shit, sorry man. I meant like influence someone to go talk to that one person they have a crush on but like getting together would be like a forbidden love or something.”

Tweek shook his head. “I…would have to really know someone’s vice to influence it. I mean, I can tell people want coffee when they come in the coffee shop or pause before trying to walk away, or influence Kyle into eating pork because he loves bacon almost as much as he loves Stan, but I don’t know exactly who loves who unless they tell me. I’m not Cupid.”

“Your power wouldn’t have worked then.”

“What?”

Token looked into Tweek’s eyes. “Your power. Craig told me it was like love at first sight when he found you, but you were unconscious. When exactly **DID** you find out about his type?”

“After he talked to our landlord and he called me his friend, thus negating our powers from working on each other…with the exception of his blessings helping me rather than hurting.”

Token nodded and smiled softly. “It was all on Craig then. You didn’t influence him at all. But he did feel some kind of pull to you, even after he found out you were a demon. Because…during Craig’s studies and after he became ordained…he wouldn’t hesitate to immediately banish a demon or cause them immense pain for them to finally leave.”

“That’s…that’s what he meant then. Back when…”

“Tweek?”

Tweek took a shaky breath before sipping his coffee. “I was freaking out that first night, like legit freaking out that Craig was gonna banish me. I mean…you’d be freaking out too if you were a demon in the presence of a priest. But he reassured me he wouldn’t and I had nothing to fear and he would have just banished me before I even woke up if he thought I was a threat. But he didn’t. And he told me that he knew banishings didn’t even work that well. I thought it was because of his church work…but…”

Token nodded. “We took out our fair share of demonic and evil supernatural entities. But we did notice that some seemed to just come back over and over. We tracked a few of them and Craig deduced banishings don’t really work. It’s just an annoyance.”

The grip Tweek had on his coffee cup grew tighter. “Token…don’t…don’t you think it’s weird that a Christian priest has such an immense pull for a demon, something that by all means he should want to destroy, but instead wants to spend the rest of his life with? That missing piece…What if…?”

Token’s eyes widened. “That…would explain a lot. But…it really doesn’t explain why Craig had confessed to Jesus that he had always felt what Jesus told him. Because he apparently had that feeling something was missing throughout his entire life but never told us because he’s not one to just blurt out his feelings.”

Tweek closed his eyes. “Token, I trust you. Craig obviously knows. Kenny, Kyle, and Stan know as well. I’m…one of you guys. Like, before being turned into a demon, I was born here in South Park as a human. But I died when I was a baby. Baby souls are what are converted to make demons and angels. I would have been in your grade…probably would have been your friend.”

“Tweek…dude… Who? Who were your parents then? We know them, right?”

Tweek chuckled softly. “Well…I work for my mom at her business. The business is what killed me, but I just can’t seem to quit the vice.”

Token stared hard at Tweek. “What the hell kind of name is Tweek Tweak!?”

Tweek giggled. “That was the only name I really felt like calling myself. It felt safe, despite what happened.”

Token was about to retort when the door slammed open and a disheveled Craig stood panting at the door. The two stood up with Tweek rushing over to Craig’s side.

“Craig, what’s wrong!?”

Craig growled, anger flashing in his eyes. “Well Token, that dark presence you felt wasn’t Tweek after all, but it **WAS** masking itself to keep itself hidden. Whatever it was kidnapped Clyde.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Tweek's Demon Speak:
> 
> Will both of you just stop!? You're acting like fucking children!


	9. Welcome To Raisins

Even before Craig knew without a doubt he was gay, the man had hated the establishment known as Raisins from the time he was a young boy. Craig was frugal with simple needs and wants and he was lucky to get out of the establishment every time his friends dragged him along with a minimal slice of his wallet missing. 

The same could not be said for Clyde Donovan, who had spent more a good chunk of his school days in the restaurant before it had been shut down due to a Subway opening up next door. All it had taken were a few reports of Jared Fogle seen stalking the alley between the two businesses and Raisins was shut down for years due to child safety.

The restaurant had opened back up recently with several changes, employing the same girls that had originally worked there when Craig and the others were kids, now adults themselves. 

\-------------------------

Craig had grumbled as the three of them got out of Token’s car, looking up at the cursed building. He had two definite reasons to not go in, but he had recognized the blonde girl that had knocked him back and had knocked out Clyde and ran off with him, carrying him with an inhuman strength. Her name was Bentley and she had been one of the ones that frequented Clyde’s table back when they were younger. 

“Craig, you can stay out here if you want. I know-”

“I’m fine Token. These...women could have Clyde in there for all we know. It’s going to take all of us if we’re gonna rescue that idiot.”

Token chuckled. “Just like old times.” 

“So what exactly _**IS**_ Raisins?”

The two looked back to Tweek behind them, Craig noticing the eye twitch the demon was making. 

“It’s like off-brand Hooters. Instead of girls mashing their tits in your face though, they just compliment and flirt with you. The guys here ate that shit up back when we were younger.”

Tweek flashed Craig a toothy grin. “I’m guessing you were their least favorite customer?”

“Three way tie with Stan and Kyle. Stan had other priorities and Kyle played the stingy Jewish stereotype well when we came here. The wings here were amazing though so we kept coming back.”

\---------------------

The establishment hadn’t changed much from the last time Craig had been there, save for the furniture gaining a few extra feet and the posters plastered on the walls reflecting the now women that worked there. 

“Hey there cuties. Table for- Oh...Craig.”

Craig smirked. “That’s Father Tucker Mercedes.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “It’s Father Tucker in church. It’s Craig here you cheapskate.”

“Love you too.”

Mercedes chuckled and motioned for the three to follow her to the less populated part of the restaurant. “So why exactly are you here Craig? I know all three of you are definitely not here for the women. Token, I know you’re still hot and heavy with Nichole and Craig, you and Tweek are practically joined at the hip.”

Tweek narrowed his eyes. “Do...I know you? How do you know my name?”

“Tweek, you don’t recognize me? It’s Allison, from the coffee shop. I always get-”

“-Vanilla mint latte with chocolate flakes! Oh my god! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you!”

Mercedes patted his shoulder. “It’s okay Tweek. Us Raisins girls tend to keep a low profile when we’re not working. Keeps the creepers from stalking us.”

“Speaking of stalking, one of yours did that. That’s why we’re here. Clyde was kidnapped by the girl that was a regular at his table. Bentley, I believe it was? Recognized her as she was running off with him.”

There was anger in Mercedes’s face as she glared at Craig. “She’s not one of us anymore. She broke the rules of Raisins. She went home and slept with one of the customers despite her knowing that was our number one rule and what the consequences were! We fired her about two weeks ago. I don’t know where that bitch is, but I’d better not see her ever again! I’ll fucking scratch her eyes out for trying to sully our business with her-”

Craig held his hands up. “Merce calm down. We need to find Clyde and I think supernatural elements are involved. There’s no way a skinny girl like Bentley would be able to easily lift and carry a stocky guy like Clyde off with that amount of ease.”

“What do you need Craig?”

“I know it’s a confidentiality matter, but her address and maybe have the other girls keep an eye and ear out if they see or hear anything. I know the rest are probably as mad as you are, but if my hunch is right, they may both be in danger.”

Mercedes sighed as she wrote down something on her order pad. "Normally, it **_IS_** a confidential matter, but I owe you one Craig. Thanks for not...you know..."

"Confessions are secret. My lips are sealed."

\-----------------------------

Token rubbed his temple as the three walked out. “It had to be fucking Denver. I hate driving in Denver.”

“Token, if you want, I can drive. It doesn’t bother me. You okay Tweek?”

Tweek nodded at Craig as he looked back at the Raisins building. “They remind me of like...off-brand succubi. I guess you were right in it being- Bebe!”

“What?! Who?!”

Tweek smiled at Craig. “If we’re going to Denver, I can get my friend Bebe to help us. Those girls in there reminded me that Bebe’s lives and works in Denver. We may need her help if your hunch is right. This Bentley girl may be possessed by a succubus. Everything you’ve talked about seems to fill their MO.”

Token furrowed his eyebrows. “Does this Bebe have knowledge of the occult or something?”

“She’s a succubus.”

“Ah.”

Craig pulled the door open on the driver’s side. “Well, if we’re getting this Bebe before going over to Bentley’s, we need to get to Denver now. If she is possessed, then Clyde might not have much time.”

Tweek looked around before tapping his pentacle, unleashing his demon features. “Actually Craig, it would be easier if you two meet us at Bentley’s. I’ll get Bebe by myself. I saw how uncomfortable you were in Raisins. You...wouldn’t fare any better at Bebe’s.”

Craig raised his eyebrow. “Where...exactly does Bebe work?”

“She’s the owner of the most successful strip club in Denver. Medusa’s.”

\-----------------------------

“Craig, eyes on the road. You won’t be able to see Tweek with it being so dark and he’s not following the road anyway.”

Craig sighed as he focused back on the highway in front of him. “I’m worried. I know I shouldn’t be, but he’s-”

Token chuckled. “I know dude. We both can tell how smitten you are with Tweek. It’s good to see you caring about something so important again. After you and Thomas broke up, something just broke in you.”

Craig grimaced as he gripped the wheel. “For weeks, I just felt empty, like what if he had been that missing piece and I blew that chance? I tried making it work, but balancing both him and my new pastor duties just took too much of a toll on me. And after the breakup, I just buried myself in my job. Token...I want to apologize to you and Clyde when we get him back. I honestly didn’t want to bail on you guys, but you can’t even begin to know the understanding of what Jesus told me. I know that a lot of this Christianity stuff is complete bullshit, but you don’t exactly refuse orders from the top two, you know?”

Token nodded. “We were just hurt that every time we would come home, you would ignore us. We weren’t even mad for you not coming anymore, but for you to just blow us off, it hurt man.”

“I just...didn’t want you guys to change my mind. Regret my decision to stay in South Park.”

“We both knew how important this is for you Craig. We’ve known you our whole lives. We know you. Just...don’t shut us out anymore. I know Clyde would definitely crash the wedding if you didn’t invite us.”

Craig stared wide-eyed at Token before shifting his eyes back on the road. “Wh-Who said there was gonna be a wedding!?”

Token laughed. “Dude, what do you think Tweek and I talked about when you two were gone? Tweek told me you were courting him. That usually results in marriage. We also...talked about other things.”

“Other things?”

“Important things. Like how Tweek’s powers never worked on you like you both originally thought. That was all on you.”

“Token...”

“We got into talking about what we used to do as demon hunters before we graduated and I asked him about his powers. He told me that he can’t influence people unless he knows their vice. Craig, he didn’t know you were gay and liked blonde guys until _**AFTER**_ you called him your friend and negated both your powers over each other. So whatever attraction you felt for him and felt afterward was _your_ own doing, not his.”

Craig gripped the steering wheel tight as he shook slightly. 

“He told me about that first night and how he was so freaked out you would banish him and I told him that the Craig that Clyde and I knew wouldn’t hesitate to banish a demon for anything. And then Tweek asked me if I thought it was weird on knowing all that I knew about you, that you didn’t banish him, but instead wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.” 

Tears pricked the sides of Craig’s eyes, causing the road to get blurry. His grip tightened as he tried focusing on the road in front of him.

“And Tweek...told me about before he became a demon. How he used to be human and would have been in our class. With how much we all like him, he probably would have been our friend. It just feels natural how he’s like our fourth no-”

Craig sharply steered the car into the ditch, not waiting for the car to come to a stop before stumbling out of the car. He only walked a few feet before falling to his knees and expelling the remnants of what he had eaten that day. 

Token kneeled down beside him, patting his back as Craig shook and retched. 

“Craig?”

Craig suddenly latched onto Token, forcing the black man to sit in the dirt as Craig’s grip on him tightened. Craig buried his face in Token’s jacket and sobbed as Token rubbed small circles in the shaking man’s back. 

“Do...do you think Token... that...”

Token strained to hear Craig’s whispered mumbling, but got the gist of what Craig was trying to say. “Tweek and I talked about that too Craig. And we came to a strong conclusion that it just seems like a strong possibility of him-”

“We set up Father Maxi. He was making Tweek upset with hurting Kyle and I know he was telling people to rip Tweek’s pentacle off of him. I’d do anything for him. Anything. I love him.”

“I know Craig. I know. So... do you think Tweek is-”

“Yes. Tweek’s that missing piece.”


	10. Demonic Possession, Working Girls, and Cheesy Pick Up Lines

Tweek had another reason why he didn’t want Craig to accompany him to Medusa’s. Most of South Park knew his calm and cheerful demeanor he had adopted to blend in. But dealing with other demons, even ones he called friends, always felt like a power battle. Tweek had to be at attention the entire time he would be talking with Bebe and he didn’t need any distractions.

Adopting a lazy smirk and flashing the ID Kyle had got for him allowed him easy access in the club. Tweek ignored the women trying to chat him up, letting his power coerce them into finding easier targets as he made his way to the bar.

“The owner, Bebe, she’s here tonight, right?”

The bartender narrowed his eyes. “Depends. Who’s asking?”

“An old friend of hers. Tell her Tweek’s here.”

The bartender scoffed and slowly walked to the back room, coming back a moment later definitely paler than he had been a moment ago. He looked at Tweek with a more fearful expression. “Bebe’s in the back sir. W-Would you like a drink? On the h-house sir?”

Tweek shook his head as he made his way to the back room, glancing back to notice the bartender was still shivering.

All Tweek could see a moment later was a huge pair of boobs trying to crush his head. So much for a power battle.

“Tweekie! It’s so goooooood to see you! I missed you sooooo much!”

The woman released him from the hug and smiled at him. “When I came up top, I felt so bad for leaving you guys. But such is the life of a succubus. I had hoped if any of you came up, you’d be close.”

Tweek began to relax, feeling that Bebe was treating him like a good friend and not a threat. “What the hell did you do to the bartender? He looked like he was about to piss himself.”

Bebe grumbled as she shook her head. “I employ some good people but sometimes they get a bit too overprotective. A couple of months ago, Pip came up top to stay for a few days because Damien needed to help Satan with a serious matter and Damien didn’t want Pip left alone. Dennis didn’t tell me that Pip was here for over an hour and by the time I came out, poor thing was surrounded by women trying to flirt him up. I was so furious, everyone knew it, and since then, I’ve got a list of names that my employees memorize. I let Dennis have it because your name is on there and he didn’t immediately send you back here.”

“My name? Why?”

Bebe lightly punched Tweek’s arm. “We’re friends Tweek. Anyone who can resist my charms and see me for me is a friend in my book.”

“I think being gay would have to do with that. And the fact I think of you as a sister.”

“True. Speaking of… _ **IS**_ it true that you’re shacking up with an actual servant of God? I heard Pip talk about Satan getting a letter and Damien basically pissed himself laughing about it.”

Tweek groaned and nodded. “It’s true. His name’s Craig and he’s…courting me. We live in South Park.”

“That is **SO** romantic! I wish I could get that lucky to find the one for me!”

“But you’re a succubus.”

Bebe sighed as she leaned against the desk in the room. “I know. But you can’t blame a girl for dreaming. Just…finding the one that will accept me for who I am, who can satisfy me, who…makes me laugh.”

Tweek smiled softly. “Well…I wish you the best of luck Bebe.”

“So…now that we’ve caught up, I know you’re not here for the girls. You’ve got business with me.”

Tweek nodded. “Craig’s friend Clyde got abducted by a girl that I’m thinking is possessed by a succubus. She had abnormal strength and just got fired for having sex with a customer that’s against the rules of where she worked. Apparently Clyde was a regular of hers back when they were younger.”

“The Peppermint Hippo? They don’t-”

“Raisins. That off-brand Hooters, as Craig would call it, in South Park. Craig said they went there a lot when they were kids.”

Bebe scoffed as she crossed her arms. “Oh, **THAT** place. Had a few of those girls working here before they opened that place back up. They had some weird morals, but they were good girls. Too vanilla for here though, but Jimmy wouldn’t have them working for him, so I took them in.”

“Jimmy?”

“Probably the most respected pimp in Denver. He treats his girls right and respects them, unlike Nathan. He’s another pimp here, real bad seed, hurts his girls if they don’t make him enough. A few of the girls here used to be his. Satan’s gonna love torturing him when he dies. We’ve been trying for years to get him- Hey… Tweek? How about a little deal? I help you with getting your friend back and you help us get rid of Nathan. I’d use my charms to seduce him, but I don’t even like being **_NEAR_** him.”

Tweek smirked. “Getting rid of him means a lot of things Bebe. Be more specific.”

“We want him out of here, be it him getting out of the city or death. Shit, even just making him permanently crazy. Just so he can’t hurt any more girls. His girls will all have jobs with either of us or just help them back on their feet. We just want him _gone_.”

Tweek held out his hand. “I kind of got a huge power rush with what I did to Father Maxi. Craig loved it too. He is **_SO_** turned on by my full demon form. So…deal. But we need to hurry. I don’t want anything bad to happen to Clyde.”

Bebe grabbed Tweek’s hand and they shook. “Deal. Let’s go. We’ll take my car. If we fly there and it **_IS_** another succubus, she’ll know we’re coming. Our amulets will mask our demonic power until we’re ready to unleash it.”

——————————————-

Craig and Token were already in the parking lot of the apartment complex when Tweek and Bebe pulled up. Upon exiting Bebe’s car, Tweek was pulled into a deep hug, Craig clinging to him like it had been years since they had seen each other.

“Craig?”

“I missed you.”

Tweek chuckled. “It was only for a few hours. We spend much more time apart when we’re both working.”

Craig lightly kissed Tweek on the lips. “It’s…more than that. It’s…I’ll tell you later. Let’s go get our idiot back.”

As they neared the apartment building, both Token and Bebe pulled Craig and Tweek back. Bebe turned to look at Token. “You sense it too, don’t you?”

Token nodded. “It’s definitely a strong force. I can’t tell the level but it’s strong. Just a tad stronger than what I feel with Tweek.”

“Well…Tweek’s right. It **IS** a succubus. She’s a second class but her power has been boosted by the fact that her possessed human and her victim had a connection. She’s probably been using this girl for a while before kidnapping your friend. It’s a good thing you brought me along. You three wouldn’t have been enough.”

“What class are you then?”

Bebe smiled at Craig. “Lesser first class, like Tweek. In fact… on the way here Tweek told me he told you about demons and angels. Well… I would have been from South Park too. Same class. So…happy hypothetical reunion classmates.”

Craig raised his eyebrow. “I’m beginning to think blondes from South Park are cursed. My new Youth Pastor is a blonde haired angel that should have been from there too. And then there’s Kenny.”

“You know Ken-Ken!?”

“Guys! Let’s talk about this **AFTER** we rescue Clyde!”

The three sheepishly looked at Token and nodded.

——————————

The air grew thicker as they neared the apartment, forcing Tweek and Bebe to unleash their demon forms earlier than they had wanted. Even the blessed protection Craig had put on himself and Token was barely working, especially for Token, who kept having to grip his head every few seconds.

Bebe put her hand on Token’s shoulder and squeezed it. “It’s the succubi’s charm, especially in this state. It’s trying to seduce you. I’ve countered it with mine, I mean you no harm with it, but it will help keep your mind clear for a little while. It might be best for you to get Clyde and get him out as fast as you can while the three of us take her down. Craig can hold his own better since he’s gay. It takes longer for the charm to work on them.”

Token nodded. “Thanks Bebe.”

With one swift kick from his goat leg, Tweek had busted down the door to the apartment, the four taking in the dark symbols on the walls and the black candles lighting the otherwise dark apartment. A distressed male voice rang out from the back, causing the four to rush forward to the bedroom.

Clyde was tied up on the bed, shirtless and whimpering, as tears ran down his face. Bentley was on top of him, running her hands over his chest, anger in her face as she looked into his clouded eyes.

_“̵̡͠S̡̕͝t̵̕o̵̷͢͞p̵̛͠ ̧͏r̢͞e͡͏s̸̨i͏̶̕͢͞s͞҉̛̕͡t͠͞i̶͏̡n̴͘͜͡g̶̸͜͜ ̴̡͟͟͡a̛n̡̡͢͟͜d̸̢̛̛͜ ̸͜g̨̢i̶̷̴̧v̡҉̵e͠͡ ̧͘i̧̛҉҉n̡̕͟!͜͝͝ ҉̧Y̧̕͏o͜͝͞u̶̧ ͠҉̸̕ **K̶͘͜͡N̨̕͜͏Ơ̷̸W͘͘** ̶̢͞͡y̢̛ǫ̧͘͞u̢͘͜͢͠ ̨w̸̴̸͘͢a̵͟͝n̸̡͘ţ̴̶̡͠ ̴̸͟t͜͝h̢i͘̕s̵͏̶̡͝! ̷͝͏͘I͏̶ ͟͠a͘͝l̡͘r̴҉͟҉e̵͟͜a̶҉d̡͟҉y̶̴͘̕ ̨̛͢͝h̵a̶̵v͟͟͜ȩ͟͞͞ ̨y̨͡o̸͞͡ų̨̛͞ ̕͝͝ư̸̸̕n͘͟d̶̶͝e̵̕͟͞͝r̸̶͞͝ ̴͞͝m͘͝y̸̵͞ ̡̡͠c҉̸͠h̨͢a͡͞r̷͟m̨͜s̡,͘͢͞͏͡ ̧n̡͡o҉̧̡͟͡w̴̧̕͡ ̶̸̡͝g҉̴̡̧i͏̢͏̡v̶̷͝ę͘͡ ̴̧̕͢͞y͟͏o͜͝͡u̷̴͏r̷͘͜͝ ̧͝b͟o̷̶ḑ̵̵̛͝y̢̡҉͡ ̷͢͝t҉͡o͘͝ ̛͡m̴̷̷e̷̵̸̢͜!̧͜”̶̶͘͡_

In seconds, the girl was thrown at the wall and pinned by both Tweek and Bebe. Bebe turned to Token. “Get Clyde out of here! Craig, start the exorcism!”

Token cuts the ropes binding Clyde and half dragged the man out of the apartment. Clyde whimpered as he tried resisting getting pulled out, trying to pull Token back with each cry and scream he heard from Bentley as Craig performed the exorcism.

“Come on dude! You’re stronger than this! Let’s go!”

“B-Bentley… she…needs…me… Trouble…”

“She doesn’t need you dude. You don’t need her. The fact you were able to resist even a little proves that. Come on Clyde.”

The progress grew easier the farther away from the apartment they got. By the time they had made it to the cars, Clyde was shakily walking on his own. Token grabbed Clyde a shirt and a light jacket from the trunk, helping him put them on since Clyde’s movements were still sluggish.

————————————

Clyde sat on the hood of the car, head in his hands, as he groaned. “That sucked. Like major balls.”

Token handed him some pills and a bottled water. “At least your balls weren’t sucked. They weren’t…right?”

Clyde shook his head as he swallowed the pills with water. “Even though I was charmed, I still remember everything that happened. I was under her control, but my body wouldn’t cooperate with what she wanted.”

Token chuckled. “Well…it looks like the supposed “ladies man” of South Park actually _**HAS**_ standards.”

“Fuck you dude. Who was the blonde chick in there with you guys?”

“One of Tweek’s friends. Bebe. She’s another succubus before you ask. A nice one actually.”

“She was cute.”

Token rolled his eyes. “Really Clyde? Fucking really? After we _**JUST**_ rescued you!?”

“What’s Clyde doing now?”

The two looked up to see Craig and Tweek walking up, scuffed up, but otherwise fine.

“He thinks Bebe’s cute. Everything turn out okay?”

Craig nodded at Token. “Bebe’s talking to Bentley now, trying to get her a job with her friend Jimmy. So…Tweek, when are you getting rid of this Nathan person?”

“Probably in a week. I need to recharge from tonight. I would have been stronger but **SOME** people had to attack me earlier.”

“We said we’re sor-”

Clyde stopped mid sentence as Bebe walked up, his eyes seeming to sparkle under the moonlight.

“So, I got Bentley in contact with Jimmy. He’s got a place for her to come work since her enjoying sex a lot was what attracted that bitch to her in the first place, especially after we found out she used to work for Nathan. Now I really want him gone if he’s dealing with demons. I will fuck up any demon that tries to take **MY** territory, even if they are a fellow succubus.”

Bebe turned to look at Clyde and smiled. “You feeling any better? Most of the charm should have worn off by now.”

“Hey baby, wanna suck _**MY**_ bus?”

The four stared hard at Clyde, Craig internally screaming in his head at the stupidity of his best friend. The pick-up line didn’t even fucking make sense. Clyde was gonna get himself killed. After they had just saved his ass, it was all for nothing.

He mumbled so softly he had hoped no once else had heard. “Why have you forsaken me lord?”

Bebe just stared at the brunette, her lips pursing. The initial squeak was so soft that only Tweek had heard it as he turned to look at Bebe. Her chest clenched before she burst out in a hearty, deep laugh, complete with snorts. Tears pricked her eyes as she giggled, having to take deep breaths.

It took a few minutes for Bebe to compose herself before finally looking at Clyde and smiling. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time! I love puns! Especially religious ones!”

Clyde smirked. “I always thought the source of Hell’s hotness was the fire. I was wrong, it’s you.”

Bebe laughed harder as she sat down on the hood next to Clyde.

“How about we introduce my serpent to your forbidden fruit?”

The woman leaned against Clyde, giggling as she smiled. “I like you. Thank you for making me laugh. I’m Bebe by the way. Succubus and owner of the strip club, Medusa’s.”

“Clyde. I’m the dumbass you had to go help save.”

—————————–

Clyde still had the smitten look on his face even after the four had got back to Craig and Tweek’s apartment hours later, staring at his phone as he chuckled and typed something back.

Token shook his head. “Of all the people that could seduce a succubus, it _**HAD**_ to be Clyde. How does that even happen? Tweek, do you know?”

“Fate maybe? I mean for all we know, they might have dated since she was supposed to be from here. Kind of like Craig and me. Speaking of…I wonder what Craig wanted to tell me? I wish he hadn’t passed out already, but today was exhausting. I’m surprised you two aren’t the same.”

Token yawned and stretched. “I’m about to. Thanks for letting us stay in the extra room. Clyde, you gonna stay up and talk to your girl?”

Clyde nodded as he squeed at the picture Bebe sent.

Tweek smiled. “They’re both hopeless romantics and perfect for each other. Goodnight Token.”

———————————–

Tweek easily slipped into the bed, not disturbing Craig’s slumber at all. He slightly pulled Craig closer to him, the man subconsciously snuggling up to the demon. He exhaled slowly as he kissed Craig on the forehead, his mind going back to the conversation Token and he had earlier that day. It seemed like a lifetime ago when it had only been less than twenty four hours.

“I hope I’m that piece you’re missing Craig.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Bentley's Succubus Speak:
> 
> Stop resisting and give in! You KNOW you want this! I already have you under my charms, now give your body to me!


	11. And Now for Something Completely Different

The dark haired boy seethed in anger as silent tears fell. The…remnants…of his best friend, his soulmate, glistened in the moonlight. The only recognizable piece, the hat, laid at the center, soaking up the lifeblood of the now dead boy.

He picked up the hat, blood dripping back on the pavement. Sirens were blaring in the distance to clean up what the past few days had thrown at the town. Soon, everyone would go back to their lives like nothing had ever happened, save for one. Save for the one that died needlessly, who had been promised to him would be protected.

Damien Thorn stormed up to his Father in Hell moments later, angrily shoving the hat in his chest.

“You promised me! You promised me that nothing bad would happen to him! You promised that Pip wouldn’t be hurt when I wasn’t able to be around!”

“Son, I-”

“No! You promised me! The one thing I ever wanted from you and you couldn’t even give me that! After all I’ve done for you to help you with your work! I’m a kid! I should be hanging out with friends, not corrupting souls!”

Satan looked at his son sadly. “I did all I could son, but even I can’t change when Death takes someone. His Soul will come down here though, so he’ll-”

“He’ll be stuck as a child! He’ll be stuck at nine years old while I grow older! He’ll be stuck in the Kindergarten! He’s my soulmate! You **_HAVE_** to do something! Please!?”

The man closed his eyes and sighed. “There…is a way…but it’s a steep price to pay.”

“I’ll do it! I’ll do anything for him! Anything! I love him!”

“It’s the Power of Three. You’ll have to offer the full lives of three to Death in order for his Soul to age. But doing so **_WILL_** have altering effects. And they can’t be random souls. They have to be people you know.”

“Fine. I don’t care about anyone I know other than Pip.”

————————————

“What do you mean I can’t use their souls!? They’re the reason Pip’s dead!”

THERE ARE…LOCKS ON THEIR SOULS. I CAN’T TOUCH THEM UNTIL IT IS THEIR TIME. THEY WOULD BE THE EQUIVALENT OF… WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A MAIN CHARACTER IN A BOOK OR MOVIE, FOR EXAMPLE.

“Then what about the orange parka kid? Kenny? He’s basically immortal. Wouldn’t his equal the three you need and then some?”

SOUL LOCKED AS WELL. ALSO, HIS SOUL IS…NOT ENTIRELY HUMAN. THE CTHULHU SPELL MUTATED IT WHILE HE WAS STILL IN HIS MOTHER’S WOMB.

Damien pounded his fists on Death’s desk. “I don’t know anyone else! I tended to stay away from most the other kids! The only time I ever interacted with any of them was when I first met most of them and then when Stan, Kyle, and that fat one were trying to decide who they were going to pick to be a replacement for Kenny when he was gone longer than normal.”

His eyes widened in realization. “They only did that because they told us all that the one they picked was too lame. Butters…I think it was. And they picked a kid named Tweek to be their new friend. And…later on… they tried replacing again with a girl named Bebe.”

SO ARE THOSE YOUR THREE?

“Are they Soul Locked?”

NO. AT LEAST NOT IN THE WAY THE OTHER THREE ARE. THEY WOULD BE CALLED SECONDARY CHARACTERS. AT LEAST…FOR NOW. BUT IF YOU WAIT BEFORE GIVING ME YOUR CHOICE, THAT MIGHT CHANGE.

“What happens to them? Do they just die? Or just not exist?”

I NEED THEIR FULL LIFE. THEY WILL BE BORN, BUT WILL DIE SOMETIME IN INFANCY THE SAME WAY THEY WOULD HAVE DIED AT THE END OF THEIR NATURAL LIFE.

“They’re already my age though. You can time travel?”

WHEN A SOUL EXCHANGE OF THIS CALIBER IS EXECUTED, THERE ARE CERTAIN POWERS I CAN UTILIZE. AND I SHOULD NOT BE TELLING YOU THIS, BUT… BY CHOOSING THESE THREE, YOU’VE PREVENTED THEM FROM THE PAINFULLY SHORT LIVES THEY WOULD HAVE LIVED.

Death snapped his fingers and three hourglasses appeared, each with a name emblazoned on the front of them on a golden nameplate.

Damien looked at the three hourglasses, noticing various details in them. Cracks marred some of the surfaces, some of the gems that adorned the wood shone with less shine than others, the sand in each had nearly the same amount of sand on both the top and bottom.

“What happens to them? Do you know?”

Death nodded before standing up and placing his skeletal hand on Damien’s forehead.

Flashes of a twenty-one year old Tweek Tweak clutching his chest in the coffee shop before collapsing, a sixteen year old malnourished Butters Stotch laying on the floor of his basement hugging himself tightly as his stomach lurched in pain, the fear in twenty-two year old bride-to-be Bebe Stephens’s eyes as she saw the car not stopping for the red light as Wendy’s car was turning.

Damien shook slightly as Death kept his hand on the boy’s forehead. Flashes of the three’s lives up until that point appeared in his head, and for once in his life, he suddenly cared about others other than himself, Pip, and his Father.

“I-I’d be making their lives better. Since they’ll be babies, their Souls will be turned into either a demon or an angel. I’ll make sure the ones that come here will be treated with respect.”

ARE THEY YOUR THREE?

“Yes. Do it.”

VERY WELL. NOW TO DISCUSS YOUR PAYMENT FOR THIS PROCESS.

Damien furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the skeleton. “Payment? I thought the three souls WERE payment.”

Death shook his head and snapped his fingers again, conjuring another decorated hourglasse, one with the sand completely on the bottom. The name Phillip Pirrup shined brightly on the nameplate.

YOU MENTIONED THAT THIS PIP IS YOUR SOULMATE. THIS BLUE GEM ON HIS HOURGLASS IS PROOF OF THAT. SEE ANYTHING SIMILAR ON THE THREE YOU CHOSE?

Damien’s face paled as he saw the blue gems on the other three. “Wh-What does that mean?”

DID YOUR FATHER NOT TELL YOU THERE WOULD BE ALTERING EFFECTS? EVERY SOUL, EVEN INSIGNIFICANT ONES IN THE VAST UNIVERSE, HAS A PURPOSE. THAT IS THE REASON OF THE DECORATIONS ON THE HOURGLASSES. THEY REPRESENT THEIR SIGNIFICANCE IN THE UNIVERSE. THE THREE YOU CHOSE HAVE SOULMATE GEMS, LIKE PIP’S, LIKE YOURS. NOT ONLY WILL YOU TAKE THEIR LIVES AWAY, YOU WILL ALSO ALTER THEIR SOULMATES. THIS WILL CAUSE AN UNBALANCE IN THE WORLD. YOUR PAYMENT IS TO RECTIFY THAT.

“Rectify?”

THE SOULMATES MUST MEET. THEY MUST BE TOGETHER FOR THE UNIVERSE TO KEEP RUNNING SMOOTHLY. LUCKILY FOR YOU, THE THREE YOU CHOSE ALREADY FOUND THEIR SOULMATES EARLY. AND WITH THEIR EXISTENCE BECOMING SUPERNATURAL IN NATURE, THEY WON’T DIE SO EASILY. THEY WILL ACTUALLY SURVIVE PAST THE POINT OF THEIR NATURAL DEATH. HOWEVER…THAT ALSO MEANS THAT THEY MUST MEET THEIR SOULMATE BEFORE THAT TIME. IF THEY DON’T, THEN THE DEAL WILL BE VOID. PIP’S SOUL…AS WELL AS YOURS, WILL BE MINE.

Damien shook slightly as he stared at the four hourglasses on the table. The lives and souls of not only Pip, but four others, his included, were on the line. Eight in total if he counted the soulmates of the three he chose.

“W-Will I know who the three are? The soulmates?”

HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS?

Damien shook his head. “It would just be easier for me to know, right? To push them in the right direction? I mean…what would you actually **_DO_** with mine and Pip’s souls if you had them?”

The sound Death made that could only be called laughter chilled Damien’s body, a feat that was hard to do even in the most coldest of climates.

YOU ARE YOUR FATHER’S SON. ALWAYS THINKING OF THE BEST WAYS TO KEEP THE DEAL IN YOUR FAVOR. TO BE HONEST, I WANT THIS DEAL OF YOURS TO WORK. THERE’S NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE. AND I HONESTLY FELT BAD FOR TAKING THIS KID SO SOON. HE’S HAD A ROUGH LIFE. HE’LL BE IN YOUR HANDS NOW. MAKE SURE HE’S TAKEN CARE OF.

“I won’t let Pip out of my sight if I can help it. Or have someone I can trust keep an eye on him.”

VERY WELL. THE THREE SOULMATES ARE CRAIG TUCKER FOR TWEEK, KENNY MCCORMICK FOR BUTTERS, AND CLYDE DONOVAN FOR BEBE. HOW THEY MEET IS UP TO YOU.

Death snapped his fingers and the world shifted.

——————————————-

Fifteen year old Kenny McCormick was insufferable. And lovesick. The blonde sighed as he kicked his feet against the ledge, staring in the lava below.

“You know if you fall in, you’ll just go back to Earth and not go to Heaven.”

“Ugh, I know Damien. I learned my lesson.”

Damien smirked and sat beside the blonde. “So…who is he?”

“How do you know it’s a he? It could be a girl.”

Damien rolled his eyes. “From the way you look at both Pip and Tweek and completely ignore Bebe, who’s a succubus mind you, it’s definitely a he.”

Kenny sighed. “Fine. His name’s Leopold. He just started his angel training a couple of days ago. And my god, when I first saw him…it felt like…magic.”

“Magic?”

“Like…that feeling that nothing else matters but him. Like…you want to spend your whole life with him and would do anything for them. Like…”

“A soulmate?”

“Yeah. I guess that would be the word for it.”

Damien smiled a rare smile. “I’m happy for you Kenny. Now maybe you’ll stop freaking Pip and Tweek out with flirting with them. And coming down here to annoy us.”

“You guys love me. Admit it.”

Damien rolled his eyes as he stood up. “Just don’t kill yourself to see him. That’s just a one-way ticket down here.”

_‘One down, two more to go.’_

——————————————-

“You have **_GOT_** to be fucking shitting me!?”

Craig Tucker had become a priest. A demon exorcising priest. The enemy of his demon soulmate Tweek. And a pretty ruthless one at that, judging from the amount of demons being sent back to Hell from the fifty mile radius of South Park. There was **_NO_** way that Tweek would even be able to get close to his soulmate, especially since he was heading off with his two friends the moment they graduated, one being the other soulmate of the other Soul he was in charge of.

Tweek wasn’t ready to head out of Hell permanently yet, like Bebe had done. Despite being a demon with his powers of influence, he had yet to realize his true demonic power. The few times he ventured out, he quickly came back after being patched up by the halfling Stan Marsh, who could detect demons since he was half demon himself.

Damien wanted to kick something. Or punch something. He settled for throwing Leopold Stotch’s parents’ in the Bog of Eternal Stench for three days.

And then he made a trip to the Hall of Super Best Friends.

Luckily for Damien, only Jesus and Moses were in the building, caught up in a game of chess.

Jesus looked up and frowned. “Damien, it’s been a while. What’s wrong?”

Damien shuddered as he glared. “I have a favor to ask of you. There’s a…person in South Park that can’t leave. I need you to make up a reason why he can’t.”

“Why do you need my help?”

Damien grumbled. “Because he’s the newly appointed priest Craig Tucker. But he’s leaving after graduation and I need him to stay in South Park. He’ll listen to you since your Second in Command to your Dad, but he’d just laugh at me and send me back to Hell.”

Jesus raised his eyebrow. “And WHY do you need this Craig Tucker to stay in South Park? You’re not going to corrupt him, are you? I have heard he’s quite the demon banisher. Anyone to increase our numbers and decrease yours is a blessing.”

“Because I have to set him up with his soulmate who’s a demon!”

The room grew silent. Even Moses’s computer parts had grown silent.

Jesus stared hard at the teenager before walking over and resting his hand on Damien’s shoulder. “And how exactly did _**THAT**_ happen? Usually soulmates are the same-”

“I traded three lives so that Pip’s Soul could age and now I’m stuck with a deal with Death because of it! And if Craig Tucker leaves, he might not ever meet his soulmate and the deal will break and Death gets both Pip’s and my soul! I know we don’t fucking like each other but you’re the only one that can help. I’ll do anything!”

Jesus sighed as he patted Damien on the shoulder. “Soulmates are a very powerful thing. For you to agree to **_THAT_** deal with Death… I’ll help you. On one condition.”

“What?”

“You join the Super Best Friends.”

Damien looked at Jesus in disgust. “No.”

“You said anything.”

“Anything but that! I can’t just sit around in your fucking clubhouse watching idiot people make idiots of themselves with false religions! I’ve got to keep Pip safe in Hell. He’s got some demonic power, but there’s still many demons that hate that he gets special privileges.”

“That’s my offer Damien.”

Damien narrowed his eyes. “Unofficially. I don’t want people knowing I joined. Covert missions or watch duty here. And Pip stays here with me during those. I’ll find somewhere for him when a mission comes up. Not a word.”

Jesus smiled and held out his hand. “Welcome to the Super Best Friends. Unofficially.”

—————————————

_‘You **HAVE** to leave before you turn twenty-one! I don’t know when you had your heart attack, so you **HAVE** to meet Craig before then! Just go!’_

“I don’t think I’m ready Damien.”

Damien sighed as he put his hands on Tweek’s shoulders. “You’re one of my best demons Tweek. Like you legit give **_ME_** chills in your full demon form. You’ll be fine. South Park is full of people with so many sins, it’ll be easy for them to be corrupted so you can eat.”

“What if people catch on? I don’t have any way of hiding my demon features yet!”

“You will be fine Tweek.”

“But-”

“Tweek, seriously. You will be fine. Your life will be so much better up there than down here. You’re capable of more than you think.”

Tweek eyes glazed over as if he was remembering something. “I…have I heard that before?”

The blonde demon shook his head and looked up at Damien. “I…can do this. I can do this.”

“You can do this Tweek.”

When Satan handed him the letter written by the one and only Craig Tucker asking if he could court Tweek, Damien couldn’t stop laughing for days.

————————————————

“Like…you _**KNOW**_ banishings fucking hurt, right Damien?”

Damien rolled his eyes as he looked at the succubus in front of him. He honestly couldn’t remember her name. It started with a T. Or an M. He really didn’t care if it wasn’t Bebe. He liked Bebe. She never tried hitting on Pip. They were almost akin to siblings. Tweek was also included in that list.

“They’re mild annoyances at most. Don’t try to exaggerate.”

“But-”

“If you want sympathy, look it up in a dictionary. It’s between shit and syphilis. I’m giving you a pretty good job and a pretty decent reward if you pull this off.”

“What about the girl I’m possessing? She might go too far. She did have a thing for this Clyde and she’s obsessed with sex. You know girls like that cause our powers to grow.”

Damien smiled harshly at the succubus. “Then you’ll just have to overpower her lust and hold her back. Whatever you do, **_DON’T_** let this Bentley chick have sex with him and wait until Clyde’s group of friends comes to rescue him before you back off. Make sure you leave enough clues so Tweek will get Bebe involved.”

“I want double the payment. Bebe’s involved and she’s one of the best succubi out there. She’ll fucking tear me up.”

“Fine. Now go do your job.”

Once the succubus had left, Damien sat back in his chair and let out a shaky breath. The last one was taken care of. Once Bebe and Clyde met, then the deal he made over ten years ago would be finalized.

———————————

Damien chuckled as he walked into his and Pip’s living space and spotted the blonde beaming at the piece of paper he was holding.

“What’s got you in such a happy mood?”

Pip looked up and grinned. “Well, Kenny was down here just now to deliver the invitations to Father and us!”

“Invitation? To what?”

“To Tweek and Craig’s wedding! We’re going, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”


	12. The Handicapped Do Not Go To Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. Between holidays, work, and a bit of burnout writer's block, it's been a mess.

It wasn’t until after Molting Season when Tweek was able to uphold his end of the deal he had with Bebe. He had called and apologized, saying that Craig had needed help with the Church and getting the new Youth Pastor situated. Molting Season had come up unexpectedly for the demon, but he was glad he had made a friend in Leo.

Leo had insisted on helping out since he still wanted to see more of the world and had a healing power should the need arise. Tweek was reluctant at first, but after finding out Stan was going out of town to a vet seminar and wouldn’t be available and Clyde was doing work in Fort Collins, the demon agreed.

\----------------------------------

Medusa’s was vastly different in the daytime than night, but there were still plenty of girls and still plenty of customers that kept the club running. Dennis waved the two over to the bar, a relieved look on his face.

“I’m so glad you’re finally here. Maybe she’ll stop the cutesy talk with- Not- Not that it doesn’t make her any less of a great boss! Don’t tell her I-”

Tweek held out his hand. “Dennis, dude. You’re good. Chill.”

The two blondes made their way to the back room where they heard giggling. Tweek shook his head as he opened the door, finding Bebe sprawled on the large couch in her office staring at her phone.

“Bebe.”

The woman giggled as she typed a message before moving over to her desk. “Sorry, was just talking to my honeyboo.”

“Honeyboo? Clyde? Really Bebe?”

Bebe shrugged as she handed over a large envelope. “That’s got Jimmy’s home address and several hundred dollars. No doubt Jimmy will probably give you a bit more to entice Nathan’s girls as well as some new clothes. You’re gonna stand out wearing those outfits.”

\------------------------

The house was nice, definitely not a place you’d expect a pimping business was working out of. Still, Bebe had insisted that Jimmy was probably one of the more nicer people she had ever met. The wink she gave afterward was odd, but Bebe had always had a weird sense of humor since Tweek had first met her.

Tweek noticed Leo shaking as they reached the door, Tweek ringing the doorbell. “Dude, it’s okay if you want to bail. This _**IS**_ kind of a less than holy mission. You can crash at Bebe’s.”

Leo shook his head. “I need experience with the human world. The only humans I’ve interacted with so far have just been Kenny, Craig, and Kyle. Stan doesn’t count since he’s a half-”

The door opened and Leo stared at the man in the wheelchair who had answered.

“Timmy!”

Tweek smiled as he held his hand out, the man’s hand twitching before grasping the outstretched hand. “I’m Tweek and this is Leo. We’re here to talk to Jimmy.”

The man, Timmy, nodded, and moved his wheelchair back to let the two in. “Timmeh!”

The two followed Timmy, Tweek taking in the the beautiful house as Leo kept staring wide-eyed at the man.

Tweek turned around and furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned closer to Leo to whisper to him. “Dude, it’s kind of rude to stare.”

“But...he’s-”

“Leo...there are some people that were born with physical and mental limitations. It doesn’t mean they’re any less of a person.”

“But Tweek, he’s-”

“Timmy!”

The two walked in the doorway Timmy had entered, Tweek closing the door behind him.

“S-So you must be the two Bebe sent for the pla- for the pla- for the mission.”

The man stood up slowly, grabbing one of the crutches beside him to stabilize himself. “Jimmy Valmer. My friends c-call me Jimmy. The girls call me Jim-Jim. This is my ass- my asso- my partner, Timmy Burch.”

Tweek walked up to the desk, holding his hand out. “Tweek Stone. This is my friend Leo Stough. We’re- Leo?”

Leo was staring wide-eyed at Jimmy, breathing heavily. “You- You’re...”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh come on Leo! I know you’ve been sheltered, but this is beyond rude! Jimmy and Timmy here are-”

“Angels! Timmy’s a halfling, but Jimmy’s a full angel!”

Leo put his hand over his mouth to stop his muffled screaming and dropped to his knees. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! I didn’t mean to invade your territory!”

Jimmy closed his eyes and sighed. “Tim-Tim, make sure that n-none of the girls are around and k-keep them away. You can also talk ment- ment- you can also talk ment- freely.

Timmy nodded before closing his eyes. _‘The girls all believe you are out for the day. Any voices they hear they will forget moments later.’_

Jimmy smiled softly. “Leo, you can st-stand. You’re not in tr-trouble. I guess you just got out of Heaven?”

Tweek helped Leo up and the two nodded. “A couple of months ago. This is my first time out of South Park.”

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing. Wh-Whatever you were told by some of the older angels, forget it. Earth is c-completely different and I’m not gonna hold territory grudges. I share my space with a succubus after all and we’re best fr-friends.”

Tweek chuckled and shook his head. “So I guess you know I’m a demon then? Just like Bebe to pull her cryptic joke shit. So...angel and half angel?”

_‘You said South Park, so I’m hoping you’ve met some of the people around our age there. If you’ve met Stan Marsh, it’s the same concept with me. I used to live there before Jimmy sought me out.’_

Tweek nodded. “Stan’s patched me up a few times and I’m best friends with Kyle. I know them quite well. And I’m...dating Craig Tucker.”

“Correction Tweek. Craig’s _**COURTING**_ you. There’s a difference.”

The demon rolled his eyes and groaned. “Courting. Yes. That word. Courting. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about my relationship. We’re here for Nathan.”

Jimmy sat down and began rummaging in his desk drawer. “Yes, N-Nathan. He’s been a thorn in my side for awhile now. Girls just s-seem to keep wanting to work for him. And for the longest, we had no idea where his ba- where his ba- where his location was. Until Bebe got i-information from that Bentley girl.”

“So what’s the plan?”

‘You two will act like interested customers and with the amount of bait money, they’ll have no choice but to take you to their private rooms at Nathan’s. That’s when you two strike. Think you can handle it?’

Tweek smirked. “Did Bebe ever tell you what my power is? I influence people’s vices. I’ll have those girls begging at my feet to take me and Leo home. It’ll be a piece of cake, even if both of us gay.”

\----------------------------------------

“Leo, less swagger. You look drunk.”

“But Kenny walks like this!”

“Is he usually drunk when he walks like that?”

“No! Well...only when we break into the communal wine. But that shouldn’t be that strong!”

Tweek laughed. “Father Maxi had a slight drinking problem so he bought wine that’s **_WAY_** above the limit it should be. We just never got rid of it. Why waste good wine?”

Leo groaned. “That’s why I threw up then when we drank that whole bottle after we had sex in the supply closet. I was sure Craig was gonna throw both of us out with the look of disgust he gave us. It was so unnerving. I mean it’s not like you two haven’t done it in there.”

The demon chuckled. “Oh yeah. Several times. And don’t worry about the look. It was the puke he was disgusted at. Craig’s got a phobia about that. Just don’t throw up in his church and you’ll be fine.”

The angel looked at Tweek incredulously. "Puke? That was why he threw a robe on us and told us to "Clean that vile filth from this place." Because of puke? We've been freaked...well I've been freaked that he'll banish me from the church if we had sex in there again!"

Tweek nodded. "Nah, you guys fucking in there is fine. Just don't puke again."

\-----------------------------------

They found two of Nathan’s girls in no time since they were the only ones working that night. Jimmy had given each of his girls the night off so the two wouldn’t proposition the wrong girls. Tweek worked his charm on the girls and after giving them the large sum of cash, the two found themselves in front of the large house Nathan used as his base of operation.

After Tweek sent the two girls back on their way, giving them another wad of cash to keep them quiet, the two made their way around the house, finding the back door was poorly lit.

“Alright Leo, I’m going to unleash my demon powers. Make sure you- Leo?”

Tweek heard the thud too late and turned around just in time to see a fist connect with his face. The last thing he remembered was a large man looming above him.

\----------------

“Shit! Fuck fuck fuck that fucking hurt!”

Kenny chuckled as Craig shoved his hand in the dishwater, undeterred by the middle finger the priest gave him with his unhurt hand.

“Preoccupied much?”

Craig glared at the blonde as he handed him the cup of coffee. “It’s not Tweek’s, but it’s still good.”

“Comparing any coffee to Tweek’s coffee is like apples and oranges dude. He’ll be fine by the way. You and I have both seen him in action and this Nathan guy’s just a human.”

Craig sighed as he sat down. “I know. I know. But it’s just...I have to worry. I still haven’t told him just **_HOW_** important he is to me. Like nothing else matters to me but him. I’d do anything for him.”

Kenny smiled softly. “They have a word for that. Soulmate. I think the same way about Leo. Those were nearly the exact words I told Damien when I first met Leo all those years ago.”

“Leo’s fine too you know Ken. He’s a lot tougher than he looks. And Tweek’s with him.”

Kenny nodded. “I know. It’s just-”

_Dog Police! Where are you coming from!? Dog Police! Nobody knows who you are!_

Craig groaned as Clyde’s ringtone began blaring, cursing the day the man had found out about the wretched 80′s song.

“What’s up? Did Token hurt your feelings again?”

“Craig, you’ve got to get to Denver now! Tweek’s in trouble!”

Craig sat up, his eyes furrowing. “What?! What happened!?”

“Bebe and I were talking and she said that Tweek and your new youth pastor went to go take care of that Nathan guy and gave me a few details. Token and I thought the name sounded familiar so I asked if she could send me a picture of the guy. This guy...he’s not human! Have you ever heard of a demon called Belial?”

“Belial? That’s another name for Satan in the religious texts.”

“Nah dude! Separate demon but they had the same principal. Apparently Satan and this demon had a falling out and Belial took demons away that wanted to follow his rules. Nathan’s one of his!”

Craig stood up, eyes wide. “Fuck! We’re going now! Of all the damn times Stan’s gone. We could have used him too!”

“I’m fixing to give the details to Bebe once I get off with you so hopefully she can help. We’re on our way ourselves but we’re in Fort Collins. It’s about the same distance.”

“Right. Kenny and I are leaving now.”

Craig ended the call and grabbed his coat. “Kenny, how fast can you get to Denver? Tweek and Leo are in trouble!”

Kenny’s eyes widened and he stood up. “Hour tops. Any faster and I risk having the cops after us or us getting in a car wreck. I don’t have time to die right now, not if Leo’s in trouble.”

“I hope Bebe can buy us some time then. In the meantime, I need to look up all I can about this Belial demon.”


	13. You Want to See Real Power?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed one word in Chapter One because of what happens at the end of this chapter. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, enjoy the extra long chapter. Couldn't find a good stopping spot and didn't want to cliffhanger again.

_**L͢͠͞E̢̡͜͠͝A͝͝V̷̡E̛͘͘͘͠ ̵̛͘͢͢M̴̢͟͠Y̧ ͢͠F̴̢̡A̕͘͟M̨̛҉͢I͟͟L̴͞͝Y̴̷̡̕͝ ͡A̸̡͠Ļ̶̷̷̛O̵̸͜N̕E̕͞!͝͞** _

He turned around, making sure the three behind him were safe before turning back to the now paralyzed demon in front of him. He grinned, his fangs sharp in the light, as he lazily flicked his hand.

The demon in front of him twitched once, before the skin began cracking, the demon shattering in front of the four.

————————————

 

“You really think I’d leave my house so unprotected? You’re just as dumb as the bitches that work for me.”

Tweek glared at the man in front of him, trying to wiggle his way free from his binds.

“Oh I don’t think you’ll be able to break those. They’re purposely made to be unbreakable by demons. Even if you transformed, which you can’t, they’ll still hold strong.”

Tweek narrowed his eyes. “Nathan, right? You’re not human, are you?”

The man smirked in his chair. “Perceptive. I used to be, until I made a deal with my lord and gained demonic powers.”

“You’re not-”

“Belial. A **_TRUE_** demon, unlike that pussy Satan. He deals in **_REAL_** power.”

Tweek furrowed his eyes at Nathan before growling, trying in vain to break his restraints. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think Belial will honor a deal with the likes of **_YOU_**. Belial’s a-”

Nathan chuckled. “Well, with the deal I made, it’s guaranteed to be in my favor. You two aren’t the ones I originally had hoped to catch, but you’ll do.”

“What do you mean? Catch?”

“In exchange for my demonic powers, I promised Belial two servants. One from Heaven and one from Hell. I know the two biggest thorns in my side are a demon and an angel, so I had hoped to capture that bitch Bebe and my sworn enemy Jimmy, but time’s running out and I’ll just have to give you and the other blonde to him. I’ll deal with my competition later on when I get my full demonic powers.”

“Don’t you dare fucking hurt Leo and Bebe!”

“Oh! Did I hit a nerve? How precious. A demon actually caring for others. You must not be a very good demon. Mimsy! Take this little imp down to the basement with the other one. I’ve got to prepare to call Belial.”

—————————-

Tweek was thrown forcefully in the small cell by the large man only referred to as Mimsy. He grunted as he tried sitting up, angered his hands were tied behind him.

“Tw-Tweek?”

Tweek turned to see Leo trying to sit against the wall. Like Tweek, the angel’s hands were restrained behind his back and his feet were chained. As Tweek scooted closer to the blonde, he noticed a thin chain wound in Leo’s cross alongside the normal rosary the cross was attached to. Tweek surmised something similar was on his pentacle.

“So…you’re Tweek. Leo here’s talked non-stop about you since he woke up.”

There was a man sitting in the next cell, close to where Leo was situated. He was dirty and haggard, the clothes he wore were way too big for his body. Tweek couldn’t tell if the man’s hair was brown or another color from all the dirt and dried blood in it. The man shivered as he turned to face the two. “Sorry you’re trapped down here. If I could help, I would.”

Tweek’s eyes softened as he stared at the man, who had seemed familiar, like he had seen his picture before. “Who are you and why would Nathan have you down here? You’re…not one of his, are you? I thought he only used women.”

The man looked up, his eyes holding sadness. “I…don’t remember my name. Can’t remember much of what I used to be. I know I used to run this place and it was a place for single mothers to earn a decent living in decent conditions. Nathan came out of nowhere, locked me up, tortured me, ruined what I had created. All I can remember is that I have a wife and child. She had just been born. She’d be three now. I can’t even remember what they look like. They could be here for all I know. I hope…she wasn’t reduced to this, my wife. She probably curses my name, whatever it is, leaving her to be a single mother just like…”

Tears softly flowed from the man. “I think…I would remember what she looked like if I saw her. I’d do anything to see her and my daughter. I love them so much.”

Leo smiled as he tried to pat the man on the arm the best he could. “We’ll get you out of here. We’re stronger than we look. Right Tweek?”

Tweek frowned and pulled on his restraints again. “It’s…hopeful. But Nathan said that he’s dealing with Belial. This could get messy. The last time I encountered a demon of Belial’s…”

He shuddered at the memory and scooted closer to the man. “Hey, do you think you can try to pull this necklace around me off? And Leo’s? The silver chain might give you trouble though. If it shocks you, don’t attempt to remove it and let me know.”

———————————-

Craig and Kenny made it to the outskirts of the property that Clyde had texted them once they got to Denver, the aforementioned man and Token pulling up minutes later with Bebe and a man with crutches.

Craig raised his eyebrow as the man held his hand out. “Jimmy. Sorry we g-got Tweek cau- cau- in trouble. I’ll make it up to you.”

The priest grabbed his hand. “You better. So what’s the plan?”

Bebe stared at the house in the distance, narrowing her eyes. “The main thing is to be on your guards, all of you. Whatever supernatural force you have, bring it out. I’ve interacted with Belial’s demons before and they have no concept of rules.”

Craig frowned. “Bebe, I did some research on the way up here. Will any of my stuff even work on these demons since they’re not demons in the religious sense?”

“It…will since fundamentally Belial’s demons are just a branch off of Hell’s demons, but it all depends on what level they are. Belial didn’t believe in the level system, leaving demons to figure out just how powerful they are compared to others for amusement. One we encountered years ago found that out the hard way and paid the price… gruesomely.”

Bebe’s eyes glassed over as she stared at nothing, before blinking rapidly and shaking her head. “Sorry. Just… if Damien hadn’t been there that night… Anyway, any humans we find, we need to get them out of there. We had always wondered why Nathan’s girls just didn’t leave and come to us, but if Nathan has demonic powers from Belial, then they won’t leave so easily.”

Kenny walked up beside Bebe. “Leave Leo to me. I’ll get him out and safe. _**IF**_ I should die, do you want me to ask Damien to come up? He might be needed.”

Bebe frowned. “Not if the situation doesn’t get bad. We’ve got enough here to prevent anything bad from happening. We can-”

The ground began shaking and visible dark energy began to leak out in the distance. The group all turned to look at the house.

“Sh-Shit! Nathan’s already started to summon Belial! We have to ge- We have to ge- We have to hurry!”

Both Jimmy and Bebe unleashed their forms and flew up. Bebe turned to look at the humans on the ground. “We’ll fly on ahead. Get there as fast as you can!”

———————————

It took the man longer than Tweek would have liked to weaken one of the links on the chain due to the fact the man hadn’t used his hands for much in the few years he had been trapped in the basement. Still, Tweek was confident that one good pull of both his chain and the bounding chain would break both and he could at least transform.

“Alright, now that mine’s loose, you can-”

The door slammed open and the large man named Mimsy lumbered down the stairs. “Nathan’s ready for you.”

Both Tweek and Leo struggled against Mimsy’s strength but it seemed whatever the restraints were made of had zapped their natural strength. Tweek surmised he could barely lift a ten pound bag of sugar, much less the fifty pound coffee bean bags they used at the shop.

Leo turned to look at the man they were leaving behind. “D-Don’t worry! We’ll get out of this and be back for you! I promise!”

The two were thrown on a large slab of concrete, Tweek noticing the torn up playground equipment twisted up into useless scraps of metal a few yards away. He narrowed his eyes, realizing that the man in the basement was telling the truth and what he was actually dealing with. If any of the kids had been hurt…

The summoning circle seemed to have been both carved and painted into the concrete, suggesting that it was used often. Tweek was at least impressed that Nathan could accurately pronounce the Latin needed for summoning and not calling anyone a “donkey raping shit eater” or something along those lines.

The demon was successfully called, standing in front of Nathan in all his demonic glory. Dark red skin, black coarse fur, sharp black teeth. Tweek could feel Leo whimper and shudder beside him. Tweek smirked and began chuckling before outright laughing loudly.

The conversation Nathan and Belial were having abruptly stopped and the demon clopped over to Tweek and roughly pulled him up by his shirt.

“Don’t you know who I am little imp!?”

Tweek chuckled and shook his head. “Nope, I’m afraid I don’t.”

The demon growled as he gripped Tweek’s shirt and pulled Tweek’s grinning face closer. “I am Belial! Even a lowly demon such as yourself would know-”

“The bible and religious texts are **_SO_** biased against accurately gendering women demons. You’re not Belial. I’ve **_MET_** Belial and believe me, _**SHE**_ is a hell of a lot prettier than you and I’m into guys!”

The demon’s eyes grew wide as he let go of Tweek’s shirt and grabbed his pentacle. “Y-You insolent whelp! How dare you-”

“Also, I’m not some lowly demon.”

Tweek smirked and jerked back, causing both his pentacle chain and the restraint chain to break.

The change was instant, Tweek easily towering over the other demon by a few inches, the silver shackles still attached to his wrists and ankles, but now broken. **_“̴̵̕͟͢I͘͏ ̢̢̕͡d̴̛͢o̵̢͘҉̛n̛͘͘'̶̛͠t͞҉͘͜͝ ̴̡̛k̶͠͝͠n͟͏̴ǫ͝͡w̛̕͟͢ ̸͘w҉̸̢͟ḩ͘e̴̢҉͜r̵̸̵͢e̸̛͏ ̷̧͏҉y͝o҉̷̵͞u҉̨͟ ̶f̴̸̛a̷͡͠ļ̸̕͡͠l̸̸͜͠͠ ͢͞o҉̴͜͡n̶̶̴̷͠ ̸͞d͜e̸̸m̵̧͏̕o̶̵͢͞n̸͏͢͠ ̧͜l̶̵͟͠͝e͜͝v̢̡͜͠e̕͜͟l̴̸͟͢͡,͏̢͠ ͏̕͢b̡͜͢͞u̵̡͠͝t̸̡ ̶̢̡̕I̸'̸̡͢͟m̕͝ ̧D̷̵̛͜a̷̴̡͟m̴̡͝i͢͡͡ȩ͜͏͜͞n̶̨͟'̕͞s͜҉ ̶͏̷s͠҉̨͢e̷͟c̡̕o̕͘̕n̷͜͞͏d͠҉̶ ̸̴̡͘͜į̨̕͢ņ̴̴̴͜ ̴̧͢ç̢̨͝ơ̛͢͜m͝m̡̕͟a̧̨͜͠͝n̶̢̡͟d̷.̴͞"͡_**

Tweek grabbed the demon by the throat and easily lifted him up. **_"̶̶̸̷L̴̕e҉t̶͟͠'̴̵̡͠s̷̵̷̨ ͢͡͝ş̢҉͢͞e̸͟͝e̸̸̴ ̸w̴̶h̷̷͢͝͏o̢҉͜'͘s͏̵̕ ̷͡͏Ŗ̶͜E̵̡͜͝͞A̶̶̡͡͠Ļ͢L̢͟͠Y̸̨̕͝ ̵̡̛͝s̸̶̨͠t̷̸̷͟r̢̡͜o̧̡̨n̛͢g͜͜e͘͝r̢͝.̶͏"̴̛͝_**

“Stop! Stop or I’ll kill him!”

Tweek turned around, his eyes grew wide as he found Mimsy holding a weakly struggling Leo, Nathan next to them with a knife pointed at Leo’s throat.

_**"̸̷͞L̸̸͡͡e̸̡͘t̷͢ ̡͡h͏̕i͝͞m̴̧͡ ͟͞͝͏̨g̵͢o̵͜͞͝!҉͘͡"͢͡͡** _

Nathan smirked as he gestured toward Tweek. “L-Let him go first. Belial or not, he’s the demon that will give me the power I deserve! The power I sold my soul and Jimmy’s soul for in 4th Grade after he humiliated me for the last time with that damn science fair with his and Timmy’s water bear project! He ceased to exist and became an angel but I won’t rest until Jimmy’s completely gone from my life in any form!”

Leo whimpered as he struggled. “Don’t worry about me Tw-Tweek! I’ll be fine!”

“Heh, better do what he says demon. You wouldn’t want a pretty angel like that covered in blood.”

Tweek’s only response was to grip the demon tighter, causing him to choke and gasp.

Nathan growled and poked the tip of the knife near Leo’s throat, causing the angel to sharply cry out and startled both Mimsy and Nathan. The large man loosened his grip as Nathan’s hand twitched upward, slashing Leo’s left eye.

Red.

All Tweek saw was red.

Tweek didn’t care if he was covered in red from the demon he exploded. All he cared about was the red that should not be coming from Leo’s face.

Something moving caught his eye and he turned swiftly to see the man that had caused harm to a pure angel trying to crawl and whimper away.

Tweek’s teeth and black eyes gleamed as he saw his prey try to sneak away. His tail swished and he prepared to leap.

“Tweek!”

———————————-

Bebe pounded on the forcefield surrounding the area, growling as nothing she did would make it budge. The others caught up to the succubus and angel in no time.

Craig frowned as he looked at the opaque orb surrounding both the house and an area at the back of the house. He narrowed his eyes. “I see shapes over there. If there’s any way of breaking this, that’s probably where the summoning is taking place. Token, Clyde, any ideas?”

Token placed his hands on the bubble and closed his eyes. “This…is too weak if you were summoning a powerful demon like Belial. It’s barely Second class but it’s the same with that Bentley girl. Whatever demon it is has been here a while and with whatever demonic power this Nathan guy has, it’s gonna take a bit.”

Token began prodding the forcefield, trying to find a weak spot, when more dark energy exploded from what they assumed was the ritual site, the forcefield completely disappearing, causing the man to stumble forward, Jimmy holding out one of his crutches to keep Token from falling. “Thanks man.”

“D-Don’t mention it.”

Craig growled as he began running. “Now’s not the time! We’ve got to go!”

The group ran behind Craig, only stopping once they got to the carnage.

Bebe put her hands over her mouth and whimpered. The ground was stripped bare of grass, trees were charred, and there was a huge broken slab of concrete in the middle, the bloody remains of whatever demon that had been summoned covering the area.

All Craig could see was Tweek, fully in Demon Mode, his black eyes glinting at a man trying to crawl away. He looked like he was about to leap on the man.

Despite both Bebe and Kenny trying to shout at him, Craig bolted toward to Tweek. “Tweek!”

The demon turned around and snarled, before leaping at Craig instead, pining the man down, claws gripping Craig’s shoulders painfully. Tweek’s tail whipped back and forth, and fear briefly flashed in Craig’s eyes as he stared at the feral look in his boyfriend’s face.

“Tweek. Tweek babe, it’s me Craig.”

Tweek’s breathing was heavy and his snarls and growling seemed pained.

Craig forced his arms upward, careful to not let Tweek’s claws pierce his skin as he held the demon’s face. “Tweek, it’s Craig. Your boyfriend. Your future fiance. Because you know I’m committed to marrying you.”

The demon whined and trembled on top of Craig as the man caressed Tweek’s face.

“You know I can’t do anything to you. Our power is matched, at least spiritually. I don’t know what caused this, but everyone is okay. You’re okay, I’m okay, everyone is okay Tweek.”

_**“̶̵L̛͘͟͝͡-̧̢͞L̨͜͜e̢̡͝o̧̡͠͝…̛͝”̕͜** _

Craig turned his head slightly before going back to stare at Tweek’s black eyes. “Leo’s being taken care of by Kenny and Clyde. He’s fine. And the others have that Nathan guy. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Tweek bowed his head down and shook his head, whimpering, flinching slightly as Craig wrapped his arms around the demon’s neck, before melting into the touch.

With Tweek’s claws loosening their grip and moving off to the side, Craig carefully sat up and pulled the demon closer to him, moving his arms to wrap around his stomach. Tweek clung to Craig’s arm as he wrapped his giant wings around the two, creating a cocoon-like shield.

“Tweek, I am so glad you’re not hurt. I was legit freaked out that something bad was going to happen or you were hurt.”

Tweek sniffed, burying his head into Craig’s chest, mindful of his horns. “S-Sorry you had to see this. But I… I don’t like when people I care about get hurt.”

Craig smiled, pulling Tweek tighter. “It’s understandable Tweek. Dude, if I had this power and my loved ones were hurt, I’d do the same thing.”

“You were scared.”

“I was scared that you were scared. I was so worried that something bad would happen to you. I had this one guinea pig one time, Stripe #5, that just would always get this fearful feral look on her face when I did anything. She was a rescue and was abused by her former owners. I didn’t have her for very long, but the look in your eyes reminded me of her.”

Craig shifted so he could look in Tweek’s eyes, tears pricking his own. “I would never be scared of you Tweek. God…I’ve been meaning to tell you this since the night we rescued Clyde, but we’ve been so busy. Token and I talked and he told me what you guys talked about. And…I’m in agreement with everything. You’re it Tweek. You’re that piece that’s been missing in my life. You're my everything, the most important person in my life. You’re my soulmate. Like nothing else matters to me but you. I’d do anything for you. And even though I don’t have a ring and this is anything but fancy, but… Will you marry me? Because I have half a mind of just picking you up and running off to one of those cheesy all night chapels and have an Elvis impersonator marry us right now. I love you so much.”

“We’d have to take Clyde or he’d get butthurt about us not inviting him. And Bebe would want to come because wedding. Token would have to come but he’d have to pick Nichole up in Boulder. And you can’t just not invite Leo and Kenny. Stan’s still at his vet conference. And there’s no way in hell that I would leave Kyle and my mom out of this, your parents and sister too. Speaking of family, I’d **_HAVE_** to get a hold of Damien and Pip. And then-”

“So I’m guessing that’s a yes.”

Tweek rolled his eyes and kissed Craig softly on the lips, mindful of his fangs. “Yes. All of the yes. A million times yes.”

————————————————-

Kenny and Clyde had made it over to Leo, Kenny unshackling the angel and wiping blood away as Clyde began trying to heal as much as he could of Leo’s face.

“It’s gonna be okay Leo. It’s gonna be okay.”

Leo sniffed and nodded as he leaned into Kenny’s embrace, his hand on Clyde's arm to boost his healing powers with his own. “Ken, there’s a man inside we need to save. He doesn’t remember his name but he looks familiar to me. He was the former owner of all this. Nathan took all this from him.”

“We’ll get him out, don’t worry.”

Token, Bebe, and Jimmy got to Nathan, the angel knocking the man out with his crutch. Bebe turned to look at Tweek and Craig, worry flashing in her eyes.

“He’s on that killing edge…”

“Bebe!”

Bebe turned around to see Kenny look at her solemnly. “Bebe, I can go get Damien. Tweek’s on the-”

“I know. I don’t want to say that he won’t hurt Craig…but… If any of us go over there, we could die right now. But we need to help.”

A few terse minutes went by with no change in Tweek’s position before Kenny growled and picked up the knife that Nathan had used to hurt Leo. “Clyde, take care of Leo. I’ll be back shortly. We need to get Tweek to calm down. The last time he was like this, it wasn’t pretty.”

“Kenny! Wait!”

Kenny turned to look at Bebe, before watching Tweek curl up in Craig’s arms.

Everyone released the breath they were holding, smiling that everything would turn out okay.

————————————

Craig stayed with Bebe and Jimmy as the two gave a statement to the police and made sure Nathan’s girls were taken care of and that the man in the basement Leo had mentioned was taken to the hospital.

As the man was being put in the ambulance, Craig glanced over to the man. His eyes grew wide as he recognized him. “No…that can’t actually be-”

——————————-

Tweek hadn’t been done with Nathan, but once he had calmed down, he knew that just outright killing the man like he initially was going to do wouldn’t have given any of Nathan’s victims justice.

He plagued Nathan’s nightmares with horrible visions, twisting the man’s vices into torture. Since Tweek had destroyed the demon that had given Nathan demonic powers, Nathan was fully human and fully at the mercy of what Tweek could do.

While he was in jail in Denver and by all rights should have been transferred to the asylum in Denver, the administrator of the South Park asylum had sweet talked them into bringing Nathan to South Park.

—————————–

“Administrator Cartman, the new transfer is here.”

The smile on their administrator’s face had the nurses quickly leave the office in fear.

It only took a few minutes to walk to the new patient’s cell. Cartman opened the door and glared at the man sitting in the corner, pinned in a straight-jacket.

“Do you know why you’re here instead of Denver?”

Nathan looked up and shivered as he looked at the dead eyes of the person in front of him.

“You took someone from me. Someone that was my entire life. Someone that I believed didn’t do what everyone told me had happened. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t the case. And I was right. After three years, I finally have my husband back. I finally have the father of my precious Erica back. I finally have Eric back.”

Heidi Cartman chuckled. “You’ll never get out of here. Whatever you did to Eric, I’ll make sure you pay back tenfold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Leo getting his scar wasn't Kenny's fault this time. And it got healed in a short amount of time. Now he's a badass angel with a scar. 
> 
> The event that Tweek, Bebe, and Kenny kept alluding to involved Tweek protecting Bebe, Kenny, and Pip when they were younger. Damien was the one that calmed Tweek down after that. That's why Damien says Tweek's full demon form gives him chills.
> 
> Translation of Tweek's demon speak:
> 
> Leave my family alone!
> 
> I don't know where you fall on demon level, but I'm Damien's second in command.
> 
> Let's see who's REALLY stronger.
> 
> Let him go!
> 
> L-Leo...


	14. I Can't Fix Him But Maybe You Can

“I hate him. I hate him. I fucking hate him. I hate him! I fucking hate him! Fucking hate! Fuck fuck fuck fuck! FUCK!”

Tweek’s eyes softened as he watched Kyle pace around the room, screaming and crying. He was glad that he and Craig were in their new house, courtesy of Satan once he found out about the impromptu engagement, otherwise it would have been so hard to explain why the two were now homeless had Kyle had his breakdown in their old apartment and the landlord kicking them out.

Stan had done it again. Stan had fucked up again on not knowing what he wanted, this time forcing a heartbroken crying Kyle knocking on their door at three am, asking if he could stay with them for a few days.

A few days turned into a few weeks.

Kyle went about his day as normal at his job, but once he got back, would curl up on the couch or the guest room and sleep or doing what he was currently doing, scream out his frustrations on whoever was home at the time.

Tweek handed Kyle a mug of coffee just as the redhead sunk into the couch, trying to catch his breath from the latest rant.

“Thanks Tweek.”

Tweek sat down next to him and pulled Kyle closer, letting the man curl up. The blonde ran his fingers through Kyle’s tight curls. “Has he called?”

Kyle shook his head. “Not since last week when he left whatever the hell message I let you two hear.”

“He probably didn’t even remember he made it. He sounded _**THAT**_ drunk.”

Kyle whimpered and curled up closer. “I never did thank you two for not letting me leave the house. I would have went and got him and probably took him back because of pity. And I’d be back in the same cycle. And I just… You are _**SO**_ lucky for finding someone that’s not pulling this shit Stan is.”

Tweek nodded and squeezed Kyle’s shoulder. “I am proud of you for just blaming Stan for this. From what I’ve seen in situations like this, everyone blames each other.”

“Well it’s not Wendy’s fault since Stan’s doing the same thing to her. I just… I can’t do it anymore. Either I’m his lover or I’m just his super best friend. I refuse to be his fuck buddy anymore when him and Wendy get in a fight. I’m willing to give that up, to just be there as a shoulder to cry on. But I can’t do this cycle anymore. If I’m just his “side chick” as it were when he’s horny, I just can’t.”

Kyle sniffed and sat up, picking his coffee mug up and taking a few sips. “I don’t need to keep hounding on this. I’ve got to get my mind on something else.”

“How’s Eric doing? We’ve only been able to talk briefly with each other with everything going on with his recovery and my work and wedding plans and such. I do know they’re going to take a vacation as soon as he’s able to walk for long periods of time. You’ve seen him more than I have.”

“I’m helping him and Heidi go through paperwork to get what Nathan had transferred to them so they can pay the girls that were there. Eric wants to start the business back up, but only once he’s fully okay. Plus, he’s got a lot of catching up to do with his daughter still. He actually cried the other day that he was strong enough to pick her up and carry her to her room. The new diet and physical therapy is going great for him.”

Tweek smiled softly. “I need to ask if little Erica could be our flower girl at the wedding. She’s the only kid I really know and I know she won’t freak out seeing all the…unusual guests there. Found that out already.”

Kyle raised his eyebrows. “Found out?”

“She sees me and Leo for what we really are. Like she outright asked Leo in church one Sunday if she could see his wings and asked me if I was okay with the cold because I was used to hot places. We showed her our wings and told her to keep it a secret, at least to others that aren’t her parents and their friends. I really need to ask Heidi if Erica had problems when she was a baby. She might be a halfling, but I’m unsure of which end.”

“With parents like Eric and Heidi, it could be either and I wouldn’t be surprised. I remember finding out that St- he was a halfling when you came barging in that one night. …You know we were about to fuck, right?”

Tweek rolled his eyes. “All my senses are way stronger than a human’s. There’s a subtle difference between animal and human semen. Stan was a very bad boy that night.”

“Ew.”

“Oh don’t ew me! You’ve had that ew in your ass. In fact-”

Tweek paused and sat up, narrowing his eyes, before standing up and peeking out the window. “Stan’s truck just pulled up.”

Kyle growled and crossed his arms. “If he’s drunk on his ass, I’m not talking to him.”

“Well…unless Stan found an alcohol that turns you into a woman, I don’t think this is Stan.”

Kyle stood up and opened the door before Wendy could put her hand up to knock.

“Hi Kyle. Can we talk?”

————————————-

“Will Tweek be okay getting himself to work? I could have waited until you got back to talk Kyle.”

Kyle smiled and shook his head. “Tweek’s got an alternate mode of transportation. He’ll be fine. …How are you doing?”

“I should be asking you that question Kyle. You’re the one that’s been hurt the most out of this.”

Kyle sighed and gripped his coffee mug. “I… I couldn’t do it anymore Wendy. I just… I love Stan too much to just continue what this whole mess is. It’s just seeing all my friends find the person they’ll spend their whole lives with… They’re all committed to each other, love each other. With Tweek and Craig’s wedding coming up, seeing Eric Cartman of all people having a healthy family relationship, Kenny and Leo just being so adorable you’ll want to puke kittens… I want that too Wendy. But I can’t. Not when I’m chained to Stan like I am. But I couldn’t possibly give him the ultimatum on either picking you or me. Because I won’t be that mean or petty. I’m willing to give him up and just go back to being friends so I can find my own future.”

Wendy smiled softly and gently squeezed Kyle’s hand. “That’s why I did it for you Kyle.”

“Did…what?”

“I gave that ultimatum to Stan and chose for him. I walked away.”

Kyle stared wide-eyed at the woman. “Wendy! No! You can’t! You’ve been together since-”

“You’ve been together for longer Kyle. Even if it wasn’t as lovers, it was still this kindred spirit you two shared. There’s things that I can’t give him that you can. You just… get him. You know how he thinks, how he ticks. The entire time he’s been over at my place, he’s done nothing but sulk about how he messed up. And Kyle? He gets more messed up when he does you wrong than me. You can fix him when he gets too bad. I can’t.”

“Wendy…I-”

Wendy smiled and wiped her eyes. “In fact…I’m glad. I’m glad I’m leaving him in good hands. There…was a time in High School, back when Stan and I had our first huge break up. And he went running to you for the first time. I was so worried that he’d go out with a few of the other girls that had their eyes on him that tried to flirt. But he went to you. And when I found that out, I cried in relief. Because Kyle, that was the moment that I realized that the _**ONLY**_ person I would be okay with stealing his heart from me was you. Any other person and I would have did everything in my power to ruin their life. But you…you were the only one that I would gladly give Stan up to. And I am. I…still want to be friends, but as far as lovers…it’s over.”

“How…has he been anyway?”

“Camped out on the couch the past few weeks, moping and staring at his phone, hoping you’d call or text. I refused to let him in my bed, not after everything that happened. The last fight we had was a week ago and I finally had enough and told him it was over and to go back to you and apologize. He went to the bar instead and I called Shelly to pick him up. He’s been in Denver with her and I’ve had his truck with me so he couldn’t leave.”

Kyle closed his eyes and smiled. “I’m guessing that was what that message was and why he didn’t send any more. Shelly probably has his phone. I’m guessing I need to go get him then. Do you need a ride home?”

Wendy nodded. “I’ve got all his stuff he left already in boxes. Come get it whenever you can.”

The two stood up and Wendy pulled Kyle into a hug. “You know I love you too, right Kyle? I don’t think I couldn’t not love you after all we’ve been through.”

Kyle smiled and squeezed Wendy gently. “Love you too Wendy. You’re like the sister I never had. I’ll take care of our boy as much as I can.”

——————————–

Kyle declined Tweek’s offer to accompany him to Denver, knowing that he needed to handle Stan himself. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door to Shelly’s apartment, hoping that he didn’t lose his nerves.

“Hey Turd, finally come to get your boyfriend?”

“Love you too Shelly.”

Shelly smiled and lightly punched Kyle in the arm. “At least my brother’s love interests have their heads on right. If I heard one more shitty breakup song, I probably would have put him out of his misery. It’s bad enough I had to kick out our own father for trying to get him drunk like the night I had to pick him up. He’s been sober for the record.”

Shelly let Kyle into the apartment and pointed to the last door in the hallway. Kyle knocked softly before entering the tiny guest bedroom to find Stan curled up on the bed in nothing but stained pajama pants.

“Stan.”

Stan looked like a kicked puppy with the look he gave Kyle as quickly got out of the bed. He raised his hand slightly, before putting it down. “K-Kyle…I…I’m…”

“I talked to Wendy.”

Stan’s eyes grew wide before looking down and wrapped his arms around himself. “It’s…over…between us. The final time. And with what…happened with you…I’m sorry Kyle. I’m so sorry. I thought I…lost-”

“You nearly did Stan. We’ve got a lot we need to talk about concerning our future, but for now, let’s go home.”

Stan sniffed and nodded. “I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t text. Shelly-”

“Has your phone? I figured. After that drunken text you left, I’d cut my brother off too.”

“Yeah. Kyle? You’re not…just a fuck buddy. You’re my whole life. I’m sorry I put you through all this.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me now. I’ll make sure you make this up to me. But like I said, we can talk later about this. You look like shit.”

————————————–

“May I have this dance?”

Wendy looked at Kyle and smiled as she nodded, letting Kyle take the lead.

“How’s he doing Kyle?”

“Much better. There’s a lot of rules and boundaries we made for ourselves so we could take it slow. One of my rules was no alcohol and he’s stuck by that, even here at the wedding even though I said he could have a few since it’s a special occasion. And Satan’s actually going to help him with a push to get into vet school like he wanted to go all those years ago to help him heal as well. That’s what they’re talking about now. There might be…use for those skills in the near future.”

Wendy frowned. “Kyle?”

“Just precautions. That’s why all the demons and angels had their wings and other features out. That thing with Cartman and that one guy and demon all those months ago kind of shook both Hell and Heaven up. And this wedding is a huge important event for both sides. Satan didn’t want any of the humans here to know, but we’re trusted. Something big is coming and we care about you too much to keep you in the dark.”

“Thanks for letting me know Kyle. I think…I will take that lunch offer that Bebe, I think, gave me. She seems pretty nice. I think we’ll end up being good friends. She’s keeping Clyde in line, so she must be good.”

Kyle nodded. "That's actually a very good idea Wendy. A very good idea."


	15. Water Bears

“Your stomach’s getting pudgy. Heh. You drink a bowl full of water bears again?”

“I’m fucking pregnant you idiot!”

Fuck.

Fucking hormones and stress.

Heidi Turner’s eyes grew just as wide as her boyfriend’s.

“Eric…I…”

She watched as his eyes lingered on hers before shifting to look at her stomach. She watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before turning around and walking out of their small house.

Fuck.

Heidi curled up on the couch, hugging the slight pudge of her stomach. She sniffed as she tried in vain to not allow the tears welling in her eyes to fall. She knew she should have just gone to the clinic to take care of the problem on her last day off, but after the five stressful days working as an orderly for the asylum in town and college classes, she didn’t want to spend her one day off in a doctor office.

It wasn’t like Eric wasn’t making decent money with his pimping business he had started since their elementary days that required her to work. That was the one thing that he was adamant about her doing. Whatever she wanted to do once they had graduated, he had promised to pay for her schooling that scholarships didn’t cover. She had always had an interest in nursing, also picking up business management classes that Eric was going to “just in case”.

It was nice things like that gesture that kept Heidi and Eric together for all these years. There was the lull in that time that Heidi had thought she had finally broken up with the large boy for good, finally stopped calling herself a victim when she really wasn’t. It had taken months for her to reverse the damage, both physically and mentally, that Eric Cartman had molded into her being. It was during that time that Eric had began his pimping business, his mother being his first girl.

As much as Eric liked to shit-talk his mom, at the end of the day, he still loved her. And when Liane had spent two months in the hospital after getting back from one of her “tutoring clients” that left her bloody and bruised, that was the day Cartman began the business to employ single mothers and have a save space for them and their children.

Kyle was under the firm belief that something in Eric Cartman broke the day he was finally allowed to see his mom a week after she was admitted. Since the Broflovski’s offered to let Cartman stay with them until Liane got out, Kyle had walked with him to the hospital and had seen the look in the brunette’s eyes when he walked out of the room. Kyle had told Heidi that he knew that the only thing metaphorically holding Cartman up as they walked home, was Kyle’s firm hand on his shoulder.

It was well into October that year that Eric had approached Heidi, skinny and nice again. He had apologized and hoped she had been happy since they broke up. She wasn’t. She had no intention of going down the route Eric had sent her again, but she admitted it felt nice to just laze around when she felt like the world was against her. And she missed the KFC.

It was better this time around. Eric was still an asshole, but only to people he really didn’t like. Heidi could tell he was treating people slightly better than he had. He’d only escalate his fights if he knew the other person could take it. He’d back off immediately if he could tell he was about to make her upset.

——————————————–

There was one thing that Eric constantly complained about. Sometimes the kids in the house that his girls lived in were too much. From the way Eric talked, there would probably never be kids in their future. Eric just hated them, despite giving them a place to live.

She clutched her stomach again. She knew once he got back, he’d tell her what she should have done a week ago. There was no way this baby would come full term. It would be dealt with and they’d never speak of it again.

—————————–

Eric came back just as she was about to leave for work, several broken down boxes in his hand and even more in the backseat of his car.

“Eric…I just…”

“You’re going to be late for work Heidi.”

Heidi sniffed and nodded, walking out the door as Eric began to assemble the boxes at their kitchen table.

The entire workday was hell as Heidi was on autopilot, knowing that once she got home, the house would be empty of Eric’s stuff. She had never thought Eric would go that route. She would never have thought he would leave her a single mother. Not after that was entirely what his business was.

She pulled up later that night, cringing that most of the lights were on in the house. The electric bill would be huge. She never really thought about money for bills, paying them with Eric’s bank account, her money from her job was entirely hers.

The smell of fried chicken threw her off as she entered the house, surprised as she saw the KFC bags on the table. There was a noise in the hallway and Heidi’s eyes widened as she saw Eric basically run in the living room.

“Good! I timed picking up dinner right. I was so hoping you didn’t have to work late.”

“Eric?”

He was smiling. He was smiling happily as he gently grabbed her hand and led her to the table.

“I would have actually made dinner, but I’ve been busy all day and knew I wouldn’t have time. And it’s been a while since we had KFC.”

“B-Busy?”

Eric grinned as he began to pull out the various containers. “Yeah. We were always talking about cleaning out the spare room of all our childhood shit. It’s as good a time as any now. Considering…you know.”

Heidi stared at him as he gestured to her stomach. “You…cleaned out the spare room?”

“Yeah. Well…got nearly everything in boxes that are pushed to the side. We had a **_LOT_** of stuff to sort through. I labeled them so we can go through them later on to see if we want to actually keep some of our stuff or get rid of it.”

Heidi sniffed as she sat down and put her hands over her eyes, trying hard not to cry. “Eric…you…you want to keep-”

Her hands were gently pulled away and a finger lifted her chin up. Eric looked at her, concern in his eyes. “I had…hoped we would be a little older before having a little spawn of our own, especially having known too many teen mothers, but I think we’ll be able to handle it. My girls told me they’re all more than willing to help.”

“But…you hate kids.”

“Only because I now realize how awful the guys and I were as kids. But our little one will be **_NOTHING_** like what I was, not if I can help it. I kind of like being alive.”

It was the first time in a week that Heidi laughed, her tears finally being ones of happiness.

———————————–

Craig Tucker was still as insufferable as ever, but given that he could technically marry people and gave no fucks about who it was, Heidi and Eric was glad it was somewhat of a friend that wouldn’t interfere or refuse, especially when they were only eighteen.

“Sorry that I couldn’t get any of your friends here Heidi. You’re stuck with my asshole friends as witnesses.”

Craig flipped the large teen off before turning to Heidi. “To be honest, how many of them would have tried stopping you from marrying this fatass if they had been here? I still know most of them are bitter about you staying with him.”

Heidi smiled softly as she grabbed the bouquet of flowers Kyle handed her. “I’m surprised they’re not busting down the door of the Church right now, ready to go Girl Power and grilling Eric for getting me pregnant without being married first.”

Kyle chuckled as he picked a piece of fuzz off the dress Heidi was wearing. “Hence this impromptu wedding. By the way, I’ve got the wedding certificates made and in my bag. Had my dad help me with changing the dates. Now it’ll look like you guys got lucky right after you got married and not before. Also, Eric… I’ve got the other paperwork you asked for.”

“Other paperwork?”

Eric flashed her a smile and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it Heidi. Just some stuff for my work. Contracts and shit.”

Kenny came out of the supply closet, dressed in the extra set of clothes Craig kept at the church, grinning sheepishly at them. “Sorry it took so long to get back. I did **_NOT_** expect that car. And then my friends down there had some…demon trouble. Had to wait for Damien to get there before I could come back.”

Stan frowned at his phone. “Well, we’ve wasted enough time. We need to get this rolling before Nichole brings Wendy back from Boulder and asks where I am.”

Craig stretched and yawned. “Yeah, let’s do this. It’s Sunday tomorrow which means I have to be here early. And I still have a damn curfew at my house. I can’t wait to finally get my own apartment.”

——————————

The business classes had really come in handy once Heidi began to properly show that she was pregnant and had lucked out that there was an opening for an assistant for the asylum’s administrator once she was six months. The pay was more and the hours weren’t as taxing on her. As much as she wanted to continue with her nursing classes, little Erica Kylie was quickly showing she was already in charge with how much Heidi could do.

With the amount of help given by Eric’s girls, the nursery was quickly finished in Heidi’s chosen colors of soft pinks and greens. The one plush that Eric had insisted on getting for the room was a water bear. Heidi just rolled her eyes as her husband picked it up and waved its feet at her in the shop and told him to put it back. “If we’re getting one, we’re getting the big one they have behind the counter.”

————————————-

Of course there would be problems. There would be worries with doctor visits and unknown diagnoses. Both Heidi and Eric were basically living in the hospital the few weeks after Erica was born. Breathing problems. Seeing her hooked up to the machines was agonizing. She had stopped breathing by herself for a few minutes. But miraculously after that, the small baby had got progressively better. The doctor felt there was something blocking the path to her lungs that sorted itself out.

The got to take little Erica home after nearly two months. Eric had taken on the role of doting father to his daughter with every turn, rushing home each day as fast as he could just to see her.

Which was why Heidi knew in her heart when Eric didn’t come home one night, that something was wrong.

—————————

Heidi glared at the man in front of her as he sneered.

“That’s the facts bitch. Your “faithful” husband sold this all to me and skipped town. I believe talking about hot slutty women and the beach. Smile on his face.”

She stormed out of the house in anger and tears, letting one of Eric’s girls, Trixie, drive her home since she was too upset.

“For the record Heidi, I don’t think he did it either. But…none of us can get a hold of him, on either phone. None of us want to work for this Nathan guy so we’re looking at our options. There’s Eric’s competition Jimmy and this new nightclub called Medusa’s just opened up. If…Eric ever comes back, we’ll come back, but for now…”

“Take care of yourself. All of you.”

————————————

Heidi honestly wondered why she kept being friends with Wendy and the others, especially when they kept telling her the same thing over again. She told herself she should have learned the first time when they had done this shit. But…to be fair, Eric _**HAD**_ been trying to kill her before turning into another him during that conversation.

Still…they _**HAD**_ all seen how wonderful Eric had treated her all these years, staying faithful even with a pimping business, so for them to keep telling her that he abandoned them, it quickly caused a rift in their friendships. And the way he had just accepted his role as a father, taking care of their “little water bear” even during that horrible time in the hospital. He stayed with little Erica for days in the hospital while she recovered. He wouldn’t just leave them. He wouldn’t just turn her into a single mother like all his girls were.

————————–

“It really doesn’t make sense Heidi. You’re completely right and I do believe you. I’ve known Eric since I was a toddler, he _**LIVED**_ with me for months. I **_SAW_** that change he went through myself! He wouldn’t have done this. He wouldn't have left you and Erica, unless something was horribly wrong and out of his control. Still…I have to do my job. If he were here, he’d kick my ass if I didn’t get this done in a reasonable time.”

Heidi could see the hurt in Kyle’s eyes that reflected her own as he handed her the paperwork he had kept for them, knowing that Eric's disappearance affected him more than he let on. After all, Eric had picked him to be Erica's godfather, using a variation of his name as her middle name. Eric had made a document that should anything happen to him, Heidi would be covered. Everything was transferred to Heidi’s name. With the exception of Eric’s mom and having his last name, anything else acknowledging Eric Cartman’s existence was gone.

——————————–

It wasn’t like Heidi was hurting for money. Eric had left her a considerable sum that would take care of both her and Erica for several years. She didn’t have to continue her job at the asylum or any of her schooling. But it was better than moping around at home. Eric wouldn’t have wanted her to do that. He would have wanted her to keep being her own independent self and keep living for their daughter.

Erica would stay over at Grandma Liane’s or her own mother while Heidi kept working her office job at the asylum, her business schooling coming in handy when she worked out the dark behind the scenes activities that were going on.

The administrator was a creep, but kept her around because she made sure nothing that was going on would slip out to the public. She made it very clear that he was to not mess with her unless he wanted his secrets to be made public.

The man lost his chance one night about a year after Eric’s disappearance, when he made Heidi work late and tried coming on to her. He had slammed her against the wall, holding her hands above her head. She fearfully looked into his lust filled eyes and the hidden part of Eric Cartman, the small sliver he wormed in when he molded her into a female him that just never went away even after the months of healing, burst forth to the front of her being.

“Call me a bitch again. Do it. Call me a bitch again.”

There was no hesitation in her voice, no fear, no bubbly personality that Heidi was known for. Eric Cartman would live on in her. The Turner in her was gone, like it had been during that time in elementary. It was about time she truly lived up to the name Heidi Cartman.

——————————-

It was easy to slip into each of her personalities, especially when it came to her job, the only time she ever exerted the Cartman in her. She had brought up a good case to the higher ups and had secured the position of administrator easily. Seemed the higher ups didn’t want their little secrets to get out as well. And Heidi could have easily done it.

The pay raise didn’t matter to her, choosing to donate the extra money to the animal shelter Stan worked at, Craig’s church which he had taken over as pastor, and the coffee shop after they began to serve much better coffee once Mrs. Tweak hired the young man that Craig was dating.

———————–

“Unk Ky!”

Kyle grinned as he picked the young girl up. “How’s my favorite goddaughter doing?”

The girl only giggled and lightly pulled on his curls.

Kyle motioned for Heidi to sit down as he sat in his own chair. “How have you been Heidi?”

Heidi smiled as she pulled out some paperwork. “I need…a favor from you. Can you look these over and make sure these everything’s in order in case people get a bit…nosey.”

“Nosey? What’s this about? Asylum dealings?”

Heidi nodded and with Erica perched on his desk playing with the paper airplane Kyle had folded, the redhead read the documents. He raised his eyebrows as he quickly read over the documents then frowned. “Phon Tu Do Pharmaceuticals? Why does that name seem familiar? And the owner is…no.”

Kyle stared incredulously at Heidi, trying his best not to startle the toddler on his desk. “Heidi, what the hell are you doing?”

“Trying to make my new drug supplier seem legit on paper. To make sure most of _them_ don’t ever get out. Like Father Maxi. I know what Tweek is for the record, don’t ask me how I know, but he can’t keep tormenting him forever. I need a permanent solution. If it’s any relief, it’s Kenny that’s the supplier.”

The redhead leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. “But… Mitch Conner is a name I haven’t heard in a long time. I was hoping I never heard that name ever again.”

“But Kyle, that **_WOULD_** be the person Eric would name on this if he came up with this paperwork.”

Kyle chuckled as he grabbed his pen. “You’re right. Well, I’ve got a few things I’ll need to change. I’ll write these up and fax them to you. You need a set for Kenny?”

——————————–

The man in the hospital bed looked nothing like the Eric Cartman she had known before he disappeared, but it was her husband all the same. Heidi had already made sure that Nathan would be sent to her asylum after a time. She couldn’t wait to give him a warm welcome.

She gently held Eric’s hand as she waited for him to wake up. From what the doctors said, Eric couldn’t remember much. He was starved, tortured, among other things. It would be a miracle for him to recover fully.

He didn’t remember her name until a week later, even though he clearly recognized her. It was the first time in a long time that Heidi cried happily as Eric called her by her name, asking where their little water bear was.

Erica had only seen pictures of her daddy and even then, Eric was considerably a hundred pounds heavier in them and much different looking than the man that came home with her after being discharged. But Heidi had suspected Erica knew things a little three year old shouldn’t. Why else would the little girl clearly draw certain people in her life with demon and angel wings, especially when she kept drawing Tweek with demon wings despite being the man that rescued her daddy.

“Daddy! Up!”

“Alright, you little water bear.”

She didn't know who cried more as Eric successfully carried their daughter to her room for the first time.

———————————-

“Erica was adorable today. Thank you so much for letting her participate in the wedding Heidi.”

Heidi smiled. “I was glad she wasn’t too distracted by everyone. But I guess she’s used to seeing you and Leo.”

Tweek nodded. “I confirmed with both Stan and Timmy. Halflings can vaguely see demon and angel features. Kind of like a ghost effect. She’s half demon in case you were wondering. Asked both Damien and Jesus.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less from a child of Eric Cartman.”

“You’re not a pushover either Heidi. Thanks…uh…for the Bahamas trip. I honestly thought that was for you guys. You’re definitely going to get a nice souvenir when we get back.”

Heidi wrapped her arms around Tweek, squeezing the demon lightly. “You gave me my life back. It’s the least I could do.”


	16. Big Impressions and Baked Blasphemy

“I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just Damien.”

Craig raised his eyebrow and looked at Tweek as the demon laid shirtless on the bed, tail scratching the crevice between his wings. The blonde was flipping through wedding and occult magazines, trying to find ideas for the wedding happening in two months.

“Just Damien. Just the Son of Satan. Just the Lord Prince of Darkness coming to size me up. Especially during one of the most important Masses for our Church. Yeah, no big deal Tweek.”

“Exactly!”

Craig sighed as he hung up his dress shirt and jacket he wore to Church before walking over to the bed, laying next to Tweek. “I’m glad _**YOU’RE**_ not worried.”

Tweek chuckled as he turned to face Craig. “Honestly Craig. You wrote a letter to Satan himself to ask to court me and you’re scared of his son more. It’s kind of funny. You’ll be fine. Damien’s just curious.”

“ _ **THAT’S**_ what I’m worried about. The last time we saw Damien here, he turned Kenny into a platypus, among other things. What is he curious about?”

Tweek shrugged and nuzzled up against Craig’s chest. “Well…considering you calmed me down without getting hurt while I was in a killing rage is probably why. The last time that happened, only Damien was able to bring me down and I ended up slashing his arm and chest pretty bad. He healed quickly, but I still felt regret for hurting him.”

“Bebe mentioned something about that, but I was too worried about you to really listen. What happened?”

Tweek took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It was a year after Bebe left for here so we were all about nineteen at the time. She wanted all of us to check out Medusa’s since it was quickly becoming very popular. Damien was busy with something but gave Pip and me the means to come up from Hell with Kenny since he was gonna revive soon. Bebe was waiting for us at the entry point, but apparently one of Belial’s demons was there too.”

Tweek sat up and closed his eyes. “Still to this day, we still wonder what he was doing there, but he began to attack us. We were all kids and both Kenny and Pip are still fundamentally somewhat human, so only Bebe and I had any powers to do anything. But this demon was a lot older and more powerful and quickly overpowered us. He knocked me aside and was about to go after Bebe, who was trying to push Kenny and Pip behind her. I…don’t know what came over me when I saw them in trouble. It was like…I knew I was Damien’s Second in Command because he gave me that role, but…until then I never really felt like I should _**HAVE**_ that role. I was too soft. Too weak, compared to other demons he commanded, you know?”

Craig nodded and sat up and began rubbing Tweek’s neck to relax him since the demon’s wings were bunched up, letting him know Tweek was getting stressed. “You never told me you were Second in Command.”

“It’s not something you really brag about, especially down there. Unless you **_WANT_** to get into fights for power. And I was completely happy if I never did get into a fight. But…seeing my friends…my **_FAMILY_** more or less in trouble? All that…raw power that was just always on the edge of bursting forward came out. That was the first time I went into my full demon form, the form I _**SHOULD**_ actually be in at all times anyway. And it was the first time I had such…malicious thoughts about hurting something. And I did. I paralyzed him and turned all his vices against him. He exploded just like that demon a few months ago.”

Tweek shuddered as his wings unfurled. “All I could feel was rage, wanting to attack anything that dared tried hurting them. There were a few animals that got close and I killed them. I couldn’t stop this killing edge I was in. Pip had ended up getting a hold of Damien and he came as fast as he could since he was the only one that was stronger than me. I still gave him trouble, but eventually he was able to wear me down and calm me down enough for me to finally get control of myself.”

Craig pulled Tweek closer to him, threading his fingers in Tweek’s hair. “Well then…I guess what I did **_IS_** a pretty big deal. I guess I’d better do my best on trying to impress Damien then.”

“Speaking of impressing, have you thought about what you’re gonna do for Mass? You’ve mentioned how important this one is and it’s your first big one since you took over.”

Craig sighed and shook his head. “It’s a bit different from the regular Mass we have. It’s bigger, more prayers and more enthusiasm. Way more Body and Blood of Christ consuming so that means a trip to Denver to get more to stock up. It’ll be a good event for you and Leo to eat since it’s like a good prime time to confess everything right on the spot instead of in the Confessional. Sorry you missed it last year since you were helping Mrs. Tweak with the shop.”

Tweek growled softly. “Well that was also when Maxi was starting his religious bullshit, so I’m glad I missed it.”

“Yeah…he did mention stuff about that in his sermon. But yeah…I have no idea what I’m going to do. I don’t want it to be the standard stuff I always say. I want this to be special, righteous, and scare the shit out of people into confessing.”

——————————

“Absolutely not.”

Leo crossed his arms and pouted. “But it’s completely different from any Mass that we’ve done and it’ll get people talking.”

“And it’s also a story on the internet and you’re an angel and you shouldn’t be encouraging a man of the cloth to do something so…blasphemous.”

Leo glared at Craig as the man sipped his coffee. “Ugh! But I wanna be Longinus! I wanna stab something! I just want… _ **CHAOS**_.”

Craig raised his eyebrow at the angel. “That scar of yours changed something in you, you know that right? This is like fifty levels of fucked up. There’s no way I’d be allowed to preach after something like this.”

Tweek was laying on the couch in Craig’s office, drawing in his wedding sketchbook before throwing it on Craig’s desk. “But it would be pretty easy to make a Bread Jesus, even with filling it with jelly. Mom’s taught me a lot about baking and such since I got roped into helping her with our wedding cake. I can even make the jelly out of the Communion wine.”

Craig picked up the sketch before shifting his eyes to the demon and angel. “Something tells me that you two collaborated before throwing this idea at me.”

Tweek smiled at Craig. “Now why would you think that? We’re completely innocent!”

Craig snorted. “Bull-fucking-shit. You **_SHOULD_** be…like arguing on whether this is a good idea or not. One of you trying to convince me to do it and the other convincing me not to. Specifically in your designated roles.”

Leo looked over to Tweek and chuckled. “Since when has Craig ever cared about his religious righteousness? This is new.”

Craig glared at Leo and shook his head. “I **_DO_** have a reputation to keep even if I don’t give a shit about religion in the slightest. You know, I remember a time you were scared shitless of Tweek and now you’re both plotting my unholy demise.”

Tweek smirked as he stretched on the couch. “Oh come on Craig! You know you’ve got this town wrapped around your finger. The only ones you don’t are the ones that know the truth about me and Leo. We’ll be fine.”

Craig pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Let’s do it. But I’m gonna need some more people to be Roman soldiers. We’ll need-”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Craig. Leo and I already got Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Eric to help us. You just worry about writing your sermon. Leo and I have got the rest.”

———————————

Craig knew from the beginning, that Tweek had the knack of being unnaturally talented in everything he set his mind to do. Be it learning piano in a week to play the church hymns when their regular pianist was sick, to creating the elaborate guinea pig set-up they had for their guinea pigs once they got their house, Craig believed there wasn’t anything Tweek wasn’t capable of doing.

Tweek had truly outdone himself as Craig stared at the six foot Bread Jesus Tweek had been working on the entire week. The Bread Jesus in the story that Leo had got the idea from was nothing compared to the Holy Breadness that laid on the table before him, ready to be slid on the large wooden cross Stan had built.

Craig wanted to cry. He knew he couldn’t since Church was about to start and his voice got wonky after he cried, but just seeing how detailed Tweek had made the Holy Loaf renewed his faith just a little. Just like the actual man, Bread Jesus was perfect, a golden brown, not burnt in the slightest, a tea towel covering his Bread Nethers. Craig couldn’t even see any seams from where Tweek would have had to piece together the parts since he knew that even the coffee shop’s oven wasn’t…big…enough…

“Tweek, babe?”

Tweek, already clad in his Roman armor and practicing cracking his whip on some test loaves, turned his head to look at Craig. “Yes honey?”

“Um…I don’t mean to be rude…I’m just curious. Where are the seams of the bread? You know…um… where you had to piece together the parts of Bread Jesus?”

Tweek chuckled. “There are none.”

“What do you mean there are none?”

“He’s one giant loaf of bread. With a face. And a dick. Belly full of ***snort*** jelly.”

A horrifying thought crossed Craig’s mind as he stared at his fiance. “You…didn’t bake him at the coffee shop last night…did you?”

Tweek only smiled and Craig could swear he momentarily saw Tweek’s horns for a moment, confirming his growing suspicion.

"Tweek, my god do I love you, but did it ever cross your mind about the blasphemous irony of baking a bread effigy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the _**LITERAL FIRES OF HELL**_!?”

“There isn’t an oven **_BIG_** enough on Earth for the accuracy and detail you wanted for a man-sized Bread Jesus Craig!”

Craig put his hands over his face and screamed. “This isn’t normal. This is completely not normal. Why did I let you talk me into this? Oh my god, this isn’t gonna work! I’ve got Bread Jesus with a Bread Dick being stabbed by an actual angel of God. Clyde and Token and Nichole are here. Bebe and Jimmy and Timmy are here. Your mother is here. **_MY_** mother is here! Damien’s here! The entire town of South Park is here! I _**THINK**_ I saw **_THE_** actual Jesus here! They’re gonna think I’m crazy! Heidi’s gonna take one look at me and throw me in the room next to Maxi.”

There was a light slap on his cheek and he looked into Tweek’s eyes. “Tweek? Did you just…slap me?”

“Get it together man! You’re the best goddamn priest on this planet! You can do this. You’re gonna go out there and preach the best fucking sermon you’ve ever done! Give them a reason, a meaning to eat Bread Jesus! Make them bow down to you and confess their every sin! You’re capable of more than you think Craig!”

The words sounded familiar to Craig, but he nodded. “Alright, let’s do this.”

—————————————–

Craig began his sermon like all his others. Kept it simple. He scanned the pews as he spoke, catching the majority of his group in the back, surrounding a man dressed all in black and a man dressed in a simple dress shirt and vest with a familiar hat. He hadn’t seen Damien and Pip in years, not since they were kids, but there were some people you just remembered.

He began to tell the story of the Crucifixion, momentarily glancing until he located the actual Jesus. It seemed like the rest of the Super Best Friends had come as well, save for Moses, who was watching via a tablet Buddha was holding.

The people had mixed reactions. Since the story had been told countless times, Craig knew he was losing a few of them. And then…the doors of the church opened.

The cracking of the whip brought them all to attention. Tweek yelling in perfect Latin as he slammed his whip on Jesus Crust as Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric dragged the giant cross across the floor gave Craig exactly the reaction he was looking for. Everyone’s attention was on the Bread Lord as he was whipped, jelly seeping out where Tweek had injected it looked like real blood. Craig was glad he took Tweek’s advice to get the darker red wine instead of the normal brand he got for the church.

It was lucky that South Park, while it had grown since they were kids, was still relatively a small mountain town, so they didn’t have to raise Bread Jesus that far off the ground once they nailed the spikes in his hands and feet. Stan had make sure to create a sort of lip on the bottoms of the cross to hold the Holy Bread in place so it wouldn’t slide off.

Craig kept a straight face as he preached on, even when he spotted Jesus muffling his laughter in **REDACTED** ’s robes. He spotted a cloak billowing in the doorway before Leo in full Roman armor like the others burst forth, brandishing a very sharp spear toward the large cross. Tweek had done a wonderful job teaching Leo the Latin he needed to shout and the blonde just seemed to look in his element as he laughed manically, stabbing the Jelly Belly of the Bread Lord, Tweek pulling Kenny out of the way just in time so he wouldn’t get stabbed himself.

Craig surmised that Tweek was also using a bit of sway with the jelly as it spewed forth, coating those unfortunate to be in the splash zone.

“In the name of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit! AMEN!”

There was mumbled unison of Amen throughout the building, most people still in a state of shock from what they had just witnessed. True to the story Leo had found on the internet, it was truly a thing that would be remembered for years to come.

“ _ **OPEN YOUR HEARTS TO SALVATION!**_ Partake in the Body and Blood of Christ! Open your hearts and confess your sins!”

The church was silent, save for Pip slightly slapping Damien as the demon snickered softly, as the parishioners weakly walked up to the now-drenched-in-wine-and-jelly Bread Jesus and broke off pieces of their Bread Lord to eat.

One woman started to cry as she ate her piece, before finally breaking down and fell on her knees, confessing just about everything she had done in her life, right down to stealing a cookie from her sister when they were three.

The admission caused others fall to their knees, the sounds of crying and begging filling the church as they confessed.

“This is really good Me. My compliments to the baker. Although…they gave me a good extra two inches.”

Craig nearly fainted as he watched actual Jesus eat the bread effigy of the Holy Dick. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath, before pointing to Tweek. “My fiance Tweek made it.”

Jesus smiled and held up the remainder. “This is good Tweek. The wine jelly was a nice touch. See you two at your wedding next month!”

——————————

“Well…now I know why you were able to calm Tweek down.”

Craig narrowed his eyes as he walked in his office, spying Damien sitting in his chair. “I thought you were out there. Shouldn’t you be protecting Pip?”

Damien smiled. “Pip’s safe. I doubt no one will touch him when there’s two demons, two angels, two halflings, and two demon hunters surrounding him. I wanted to talk to you privately before getting the others in here. There’s something you all need to know. Something I need to show you. But first, we need to talk.”

“About?”

“Thanking you.”

Craig raised his eyebrows. “Thanking me?”

“You make Tweek happy. Very happy. I’ve always worried about him, even when I granted him his powers, even when I made him my second in command. Your powers match though. You don’t really want the power you have, but when you use it, it’s the most powerful thing in the world. We’re probably gonna need that power soon. I feel…something coming. But…for now, I wish you and Tweek all the happiness you can muster. I do have a wedding gift for you, several in fact. One involves you, Tweek, Bebe, Kenny, Clyde, and Leo. The others…I’ll give you on your wedding day. Can you call the ones I named?”

Damien took a deep breath and looked straight into Craig’s eyes. “It’s time…I confessed to you Pastor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The basis for some of the events in this story come from this beautiful Tumblr post simply called The 1969 Easter Mass Incident. This is a fantastic read and great if you need a laugh. 
> 
> http://gallusrostromegalus.tumblr.com/post/169723347468/the-1969-easter-mass-incident


	17. He Always Knew

Craig noticed the grim expression on Damien’s face as the others gathered in his office, squeezing into the large couch and plush chairs.”

“Alright Damien. We’re all here. Now tell-”

Damien flashed a solemn smile to the pastor before raising his hand up, a blinding light expelling from it. “Sorry, but it would be better to show you.”

——————————–

Kenny sadly looked at the house he was passing, the lights still not on indicating people were there. Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Butters and his family took off for their summer Hawaiian trip and so far, the blonde teen hadn’t texted him or emailed him like he promised he would. There wasn’t even any Facebook pictures or status updates like Butters would normally post. Sure there were plenty of pictures his parents were posting, but none of the actual boy himself.

Surely his parents wouldn’t have grounded him the entire time of their trip? Why even bring him if that were the case? Butters could have stayed at any of his friends’ houses during the summer break, all of them knowing the drill to lie that he wasn’t getting into trouble.

Kenny carefully pulled out the fraying shark tooth necklace he had worn since Fourth Grade, noting he needed to change the cord again. A souvenir from the time him and Butters had gone to Hawaii, the prize Kenny had won when he punched out the shark that tried eating him, because goddamn it, he had been there for Butters and death was **_NOT_** gonna take him away from helping someone he cared about.

The whimper was soft and Kenny barely heard it, knowing that if he had been wearing his parka instead of his light jacket, it would have gone undetected.

Kenny frowned and walked into the Stotch’s yard. If an animal was dying or in pain, he knew he needed to get it away. If they came back and an animal was dead in their yard, Butters would no doubt be grounded for it.

He searched the bushes and around the back, even daring to climb over the fence into the backyard to find the wounded animal to no avail. He stood still, hoping the whimper would sound again.

Kenny froze when he heard it again only turning his head as the whimper sounded from the basement window. This time, the whimper sounded more human, more…familiar.

No.

The blonde rushed to the tiny window, gasping in fear and anger as he saw the tiny figure curled up in the middle of the basement, a lot smaller than he had seen the happy, vibrant boy at the end of the school year.

In seconds, Kenny had pushed all his weight into breaking down the back door and rushed to the basement door, finding the offending piece of wood locked and deadbolted several times. In a flurry of anger, Kenny ripped the door away, grateful he had kept up his Mysterion role even when they were teenagers and was stronger than he looked.

He nearly tripped down the stairs as he rushed down them, slamming his knees into the concrete as he knelt down in front of Butters, hoping he wasn’t too late.

“Butters? Leo?”

Kenny could tell it hurt the boy to even move as Butters slowly shifted his head to look at him.

“K-Ken?”

It came out as a bare whisper, Kenny knowing that it had taken a good deal of energy for the boy to even do that much. He had known the feeling of hunger pangs nearly his entire life. He knew just how much energy he himself had to muster to be able to even function during his elementary days. If Butters had been down here the entire time without food…

Kenny brushed the blonde’s matted hair out of his eyes as he dialed 911 on his phone, begging for his unshed tears to not fall as he waited for the phone to pick up.

“It’s gonna be okay Butters. We’re getting you help.”

Butters Stotch never made it to the hospital, dying in the ambulance on the way, as Kenny held onto his hand.

———————————————–

“ **NGH** Craig, I’ll be fine! It was just a small dizzy spell.”

Craig frowned as he watched his boyfriend try unsuccessfully to button his shirt up, noting the fingers on Tweek’s left hand just didn’t want to cooperate. He pushed Tweek’s fingers out of the way, noticing they seemed colder than normal, as he helped button the shirt on right.

“Tweek, are you sure you don’t want to go to the doctor? I know your aversion to them, but I’m kind of worried about you. All these shifts at the coffee shop and it’s Flu Season so there’s no telling _**WHO**_ has what when they come in. Even just to get some of the good cold medicine? Please honey?”

Tweek glared at Craig before sighing and looking down in defeat. “I…have been feeling tired a lot, despite my coffee intake. Back hurts too. I’ve got tomorrow off so I’ll go to the clinic. Walk me there so you know I’ll actually go?”

“Tweek…babe, you know that-”

“If I’m gonna have to suffer the wrath of screaming kids and crusty old people mumbling to themselves, I’m taking you down with me man. And you can…give me a lollipop for good behavior when we get home.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Not if you’re actually sick and not stressed out. Nothing will kill the BJ mood like you getting snot all over my dick.”

“Gross.”

“Even grosser if you’re sick. I don’t think you want to spend your birthday sick in bed while the rest of us party it up. Clyde would drag you out, sick or not. And Bebe’s just dying to show you the engagement ring Clyde proposed to her with.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

_“Police are still on the lookout for twenty two year old Kenny McCormick for questioning in the murder of Stephen and Lind-”_

Tweek turned off the radio in the office, gripping the desk as he took a deep breath. Just an hour into his shift and he had gotten winded and dizzy. His mouth was dry and his neck and jaw ached. There was a burning in his throat and he went to grab his mug of coffee before hesitating and grabbing the water bottle Craig insisted on him carrying around and chugged the entire thing.

The blonde clenched his fingers in his left hand, trying to get feeling back into them. As he walked back to the back room, he made a mental note to thank Craig for insisting he went to the doctor.

He didn’t notice the dull pressure in his chest building until his heart throbbed painfully, causing him to gasp for breath as he clutched his chest, dropping the heavy bag of beans he had been carrying. The dizziness came back and Tweek tried clutching the table to steady himself, failing when the numbness in his left hand prevented him from gripping it.

His heart pounded heavily and painfully and Tweek tried to tearfully shout that he needed help as he laid on the ground, clutching his chest. The grinders were on and were too loud for his parents to hear. His vision started fading, his last thought was wishing he would have taken Craig’s advice to go to the doctor sooner.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

It had been a long day at work and Craig rubbed at his eyes as he walked into the apartment him and Tweek shared. It seemed nothing had gone right the entire day and to top it off, Craig had forgotten his phone charger and his phone had died an hour into his shift so he couldn’t text Tweek on their break.

The apartment was quiet, too quiet, letting Craig know that Tweek was probably working late again as Richard would always convince the blonde to close up, even **_IF_** they had someone else scheduled to close.

Craig sighed as he plugged his phone in the charger, leaving it on the kitchen counter as he rummaged around in the fridge. He frowned when he found nothing remotely edible and hoped Tweek was in the mood to go grocery shopping after his doctor visit.

He grabbed his phone to call the local pizza place when Craig noticed both the police station and the hospital had called him and left voice messages. He began to breathe heavily as he called his voicemail, hoping, praying, everything would be okay.

_“Craig Tucker, this is Officer Yates down at the station. Can you come down here as soon as possible? We need to ask you some questions concerning Richard and Helen Tweak.”_

_“Mr. Craig Tucker? Can you come down to the hospital as soon as possible? We need some information in regards to a Mr. Tweek Tweak that was brought in earlier. We regret to inform you that Mr. Tweak has pass-”_

He didn’t hear the rest of the message. The phone shattered as it was thrown against the wall, the anguished sobs of Craig Tucker filling the silence of the otherwise cold, empty apartment.

————————————————

Clyde knew he should be happy on his wedding day. It was going to be the best day of his life on marrying his childhood sweetheart, Bebe. He refused to let the gut feeling he had on something going wrong get the better of him. There was always something that happened at weddings. Always. But he knew that Bebe and him would laugh about it years down the line. They always did. Even their breakups in their school years were laughed at on how stupid some of them were.

“You look good dude.”

Clyde looked up and smiled softly as Craig walked in the room. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Craig shrugged as he adjusted the green tie around his neck. “Well… it’s not every day that your best friend forever gets married. And…Tweek would probably kill me if I didn’t come. I _**AM**_ the best man after all.”

“How **_ARE_** you doing Craig? We haven’t heard from you in forever. I was afraid you weren’t going to come so when we got the invitation saying you were… well…it really means a lot, you know?”

Craig sighed and closed his eyes, fiddling with his tie. “It’s…been hard Clyde. Really hard. It just seems like…it’s all a horrible nightmare that I’ll wake up from at any moment. I just keep going back to certain points before that day, just…wishing I would have done or said something differently. I should have forced him to go to the doctor earlier or convinced him more to drink less coffee, especially when the cops found what they found. Picked up a few more shifts at my job so he wouldn’t have to work so hard. I keep blaming myself.”

Clyde stood up and pulled Craig into a hug, both forcing the tears to not flow. “You know you’ve got all of us Craig. I know it hurts, but please…don’t shut us out. I don’t want you to end up…like Ke-”

Craig shakily returned the hug, gripping the larger boy tight. “Don’t worry Clyde. It…won’t come to that. I’d definitely get caught for one, unlike Kenny. I still can’t believe they haven’t caught him. If Tweek’s parents hadn’t been arrested, I still wouldn’t have wished harm on them. Tweek wouldn’t have wanted me to hate them. They’re being charged with the drugs and his death, so at least justice is getting served.”

“Still Craig…please. I’m your best friend. I want to be there for you.”

Craig sniffed and smiled, breaking their hug and straightening Clyde’s tie. “Right now, I’m here for you. It **_IS_** your big day after all.”

++++++++++++++++++++++

There was an hour before the wedding was supposed to begin and Bebe with her bridesmaids still hadn’t shown up. Clyde frowned as he checked his phone for a reply to his text messages he kept sending the woman. The last one he had received was two hours ago when Bebe texted they would be running late.

“She’ll be here Clyde. Don’t worry.”

Clyde smiled and nodded as Token gripped his arm before going back to his own phone, trying to see if he could reach Nichole. Clyde glanced around the room, noting that Cartman was on his phone, no doubt texting Heidi. Stan and Kyle weren’t texting, but both were staring at their phones.

The brunette’s hair was suddenly ruffled and he glared at Craig. “Dude, I spent like all day on my hair!”

“Clyde, don’t lie. It’ll take like five minutes to do. Any word yet?”

Clyde shook his head as he stared at his phone again. “Hey uh Craig? There was something that Bebe and I had talked about concerning our future and well… it involves you and it involved Tweek. We…wanted you two to be the godfathers of our future kids. We still want you to be…but we were wondering if…you wouldn’t mind us naming a kid after Tweek? We were also going to name one after Butters…well his real name and-”

“Clarence.”

“Huh?”

Craig smiled softly. “Tweek told me in complete secrecy and confidence. Clarence was his actual first name. If he were here, he’d…he’d be honored you would think so much of him to name a kid after him. Maybe he wouldn’t of hated his real name so much. And I’m honored to be named a godfather. I promise if anything happens, those kids will be taken care of. Mark my words Clyde.”

Clyde chuckled. “So Clarence and Leopold. I just hope they won’t be a handful. At least not like we were when-”

The shrill ringing of Stan’s phone going off had everyone turn to look at the raven haired man as he answered the phone.

“Wendy? Is everything- We’ve been- Wendy? Oh god… No…”

Stan’s eyes grew wide and tears began to well up as he put his hand over his mouth and began to shake, Kyle managing to catch the phone as Stan’s grip on it loosened.

Kyle held Stan as he shook, giving a heartbreaking look to Clyde. “Cl-Clyde…there was… an accident. Th-The other car didn’t stop for the red light as Wendy’s car was turning.”

Clyde’s gut feeling came back in full force as he stared at Stan, tears threatening to fall. “Stan…please… Please don’t tell me…”

Stan choked back a sob. “The…the others are okay, mild injuries. Nichole had to have stitches. But Bebe… It was her side the car hit. Clyde…I’m so sorry. Th-The paramedics told Wendy she died on impact. Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

Clyde wasn’t aware he had dropped to the floor. Wasn’t aware he was screaming and sobbing. Wasn’t aware that he was squeezing Craig as hard as he was able, only subconsciously listening to his best friend offering words of comfort because he knew deep down Craig was the only one there that just **_KNEW_** how this felt. Knew the pain of having the love of their life, their **_SOULMATE_** , ripped from you. Knew nothing mattered at all anymore.

How could you go on living when your very reason for being alive was gone?

—————————————-

Craig was the last to wake up, finding the rest had backed Damien into a corner, both Tweek and Bebe in their demon forms. Kenny looked ready to punch the dark haired man and both Clyde and Leo looked ready to join in. And the yelling really didn’t help the groggy feeling he still had.

He pushed himself up off the chair him and Tweek had been sharing and quickly moved between Damien and the rest of the group, blocking the punch Kenny was fixing to deliver.

Kenny growled as he tried pulling his hand away from Craig’s grip. “Craig! Fucking let go man! And move out of the way!”

Craig narrowed his eyes as he saw the angered faces of his friends and fiance. “Not until you all calm down.”

Clyde grabbed Craig’s hand, trying to pull Kenny’s fist out of it. “You fucking saw what we all saw right?! Bebe, Tweek, and Leo were **_ALL_** a part of our lives! I saw my entire childhood **_WITH_** Bebe! And that was taken away from me! From us! How can you not be mad that you lost all those years with Tweek!? Because of _**HIM**_!”

Craig turned to look at Damien, who had a shocked expression on his face as Craig held his ground on not letting any of the others touch him. He closed his eyes. “So…you would have rather had our entire childhoods with our loved ones and spend the rest of our adult lives without them? Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather Tweek be missing during my childhood so I can spend the rest of my life with him.”

Kenny’s hand twitched and Craig released it. Craig looked over to Tweek and smiled as the demon’s eyes grew wide in realization.

“Oh.”

Tweek closed his eyes and nodded, touching his pentacle and reverting back to his human form, placing himself beside Craig. “I get it. You knew all this time, didn’t you Craig?”

Leo sniffed as he held onto Kenny. “Knew what?”

Craig chuckled as he scratched his head. “I’m going to sound like a broken record. I always kept saying that I felt something missing in my life. Tweek and I even joked about it a few times on just claiming Tweek was in our grade to begin with and people would believe him. But…seeing what we all saw confirmed everything, confirmed that feeling. So what if our childhoods were robbed of them? Tweek, Leo, and Bebe are alive _**NOW**_ , way past what they lived in that other timeline. Kenny’s not wanted for murder, I’m not an emotional wreck, and we’ll get to Clyde and Bebe’s wedding in no time.”

Craig turned around to look Damien in the eyes. “And now, for you. Because this **_IS_** my job.”

Damien gasped as he was pulled into a hug. He struggled at first, but Craig’s grip seemed inhuman and sincere and he accepted the gesture.

“I forgive you Damien.”

Damien’s eyes grew wide as Craig released him. “H-How can you just-”

Craig shrugged. “I said this was my job. You confessed. I forgave you. That’s how it works.”

Damien shook his head. “You’re a terrible priest if you’re forgiving the son of Satan for something.”

“You must have had a really good reason for doing what you did. And if I’m guessing right, you’d do anything for that reason.”

“Yeah…I did.”

“Damien?”

The demon looked up at Bebe, noticing the girl was frowning. “What’s wrong?”

Bebe and Clyde gave each other a look before she turned back to Damien. “Well…it’s just… we saw Jimmy with us as well. But…Jimmy’s an angel and I met him after I opened up Medusa’s. He wasn’t part of your…thing…as well, was he?”

Damien shook his head. “I’m…not sure about Jimmy. It’s possible that that was something else entirely. Something out of my control. I remember him…but I also…don’t.”

Tweek furrowed his eyebrows. “There…was something that Nathan said. Something about Jimmy humiliating him in Fourth grade alongside Timmy. He sold his and Jimmy’s souls to that demon I killed.”

Damien frowned. “I’ll have to ask my dad about that. It sounds close to what I did but less powerful. It’s like he probably **_WAS_** there, you just don’t remember him. And deals with Belial’s demons are…tricky. This may be a cause for concern.”

———————————–

“So…you survived Damien.”

Craig snorted as he dug through the fridge, frowning at the emptiness. “More like he survived me. Did you see the look on his face when I hugged him?”

“Only “Not that kind of priest” Craig Tucker can forgive one of the more higher religious demons and actually mean it.”

“Nah, I’m just that good.”

Tweek chuckled as he handed Craig his phone so he could call in a pizza order. “I’m glad this time I’m alive and yes, we can go grocery shopping tomorrow. Don’t throw your phone.”

Craig froze at the statement and looked at Tweek as he doodled in his sketchbook. “Tweek…”

“I saw everything you did. My childhood in that timeline. I saw the aftermath as well Craig. And I know that Bebe and Leo saw the aftermath of their own deaths. And…I’m glad everything turned out like this. I’m glad that Tweek never existed because it broke my heart to see him in that constant state of panic and anxiety. I don’t…I don’t think I could bear it in my heart to see my mom go to jail. My dad, sure, but not my mom. Especially now. Especially when I have such a good relationship with her. If it takes me being a demon for my happiness, so be it.”

“A demon named Clarence.”

Tweek groaned as he put his head in his hands. “That name. That fucking name. It’s gonna stick, isn’t it?”

Craig smirked. “Well, you **_DID_** tell your mom you were thinking of old embarrassing names to put on the documents Kyle’s making for you. I think that’s pretty embarrassing. But…it’s cute. I like it. Clarence Tucker has a very nice ring to it.”

Craig was pretty sure Tweek’s face was as red as his wings and leg fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, Tweek's and Craig's parts were difficult to write since I had someone very close to me die of a massive heart attack and still to this day, I wish I would have seen more signs and listened and pushed them more to seek medical help.
> 
> Butters died at the during summer break when they were all around 16. (He would have turned 17 in Sept and been in 11th Grade.)  
> Tweek died a few days before his 22nd birthday (Dec 16th in this story)  
> Bebe died in June, about 6 months after Tweek died.
> 
>  
> 
> Scream or yell: you know the drill riddlepanda.tumblr.com


	18. On The Subject of Children, Sharks, and Coffee Beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo sorry. Writer's block is a nightmare.

“Make love to me.”

Clyde knew something was wrong when Bebe asked for them to take it slow instead of the intense sex they were used to due to Bebe’s sexual appetite.

Bebe was a busy woman with a very successful business to run and Clyde’s demon hunting had him in a different location most days, so the actual times they could physically be together were few and far between. It had been unusual for Bebe to ask Clyde to stay a few days.

Of course what Damien had shown them had been in the foreground of Clyde’s mind, just like it was probably in Bebe’s.

“What are we?”

Clyde paused in running his fingers through Bebe’s long blonde hair. “What do you mean?”

Bebe sat up so she could rest on the pillows instead of Clyde’s chest. “What…are we? Like…in our relationship? What do we believe?”

“Are you talking about the alternate timeline? The one where we were…”

“Yes.”

Clyde closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “What…do you want to believe?”

“We’d be married by now. At least…if I hadn’t of died. We might have already started on having children. At the most, I’d be about four months along. Instead…we’re-”

“You’re alive now. Craig’s right you know. I’d much rather have you alive now than the alternative.”

Bebe wrapped her arms around herself. “But I’m not human. I’m not able to give us a normal life. I have to have sex to fundamentally survive and I’m worried I’m going to hurt you badly one time. I _**HAVE**_ hurt other men in the past. I’m a life sapping demon Clyde. I’m Bebe the Succubus, not Bebe Stevens. I’m-”

“You’re both, at least to me. You were born Bebe Stevens each time and I’d really like you to be Donovan in the future. Sure it won’t be when we had originally planned it, but at least we’ve got the wedding plans down already. Not much should change. That reminds me…you need to meet Wendy. She was your Maid of Honor after all.”

Bebe rested her head against Clyde’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “It…feels so real, you know? I mean…I have my memories of living in Hell with Tweek and Pip and Damien, but… I also have all those memories of us, that life we had. Not this one. What if I mix them up? What if we get to talking about something we all did with someone that doesn’t know and they’re confused? That other life-”

“Happened Bebe. It still happened. It’s just as real as what we have right now. And honestly? I think we’ve got a pretty solid group of friends that would believe us if we told them. And we had so many moments that was just us. And…I don’t know about you…but I feel a whole lot closer to you now more than anything. It’s like…I fell in love with you all over again.”

“Always the cheesy romantic, aren’t you?”

Clyde chuckled as he pulled Bebe closer. “One thing I’m glad didn’t happen was that disaster of a party we went to our Senior year. The one where I threw up all over that stunning blue dress you had just bought. I think I cried more than you did.”

Bebe nodded as she snuggled up to the brunette, Clyde beginning to run his fingers through her hair again. “I…I can’t give us children Clyde. Succubi are infertile. There’s a way, but it’s messy and I don’t want to go that route.”

“There’s always adoption. Especially if we’re able to find children that are halflings like Stan and Timmy are. Tweek suspects Cartman and Heidi’s daughter is one as well.”

“You still would want children?”

Clyde smiled softly. “We always joked about Token being the mom of our group, in both timelines, but…you’ve **_GOT_** to remember that I was a bit obsessed with calling my mosquitoes and those lobsters my babies. I do want kids.”

Bebe giggled and placed a soft kiss on Clyde’s cheek. “In that case, once Tweek and Craig’s wedding is over, let’s start our own plans for the future. They’re still the godfathers, right?”

“Craig would punch me if we didn’t.”

————————————–

“I wanna punch a shark.”

Leo giggled and shook his head. “There’s no sharks in South Park.”

Kenny stretched, popping his back a few times, before resuming pressing powder into tablets. “I know. I mean…like going to Hawaii and punching a shark. I want my shark tooth necklace back.”

Leo rolled his eyes as he handed the darker blonde the little baggies that would house the newly made pills. “It won’t be the same shark you punched in that other timeline.”

“Knowing my luck with death and shit, it probably would.”

“True. So…Hawaii? There’s other places that have sharks to punch.”

Kenny chuckled and smiled softly at Leo. “Well… Hawaii’s kind of a sentimental place to us. In that other timeline at least. At least this time…it will all be happy memories.”

“The only murder you’d be wanted for would be a shark.”

Kenny saw Leo begin to twiddle his thumbs, a habit the other Leo, Butters, had done when he was feeling bad. Leo had started doing it a few days after Damien had showed them the alternate timeline when they had been alive.

“You’re too pure for this world, you know that Leo?”

The angel looked up into Kenny’s concerned face. “Kenny…”

“I’d do it again Leo. If they weren’t already dead, I’d find some way of making them pay. You remembering you dying in the same way _**TWICE**_ is two too many times in my book.”

“Pot calling kettle.”

Kenny grimaced as he looked away from Leo’s pale blue eyes. “It’s…different for me. You know that. At least…everyone remembers I actually die in this timeline. I think it makes it more bearable when it happens. In some sick way, it just…makes me happy that my friends remember it happens, even if it’s traumatizing. Makes me feel wanted and loved when I get back.”

“I’m just glad I get to see you more now that I’m down here. And that you don’t have to sneak around to see me.”

“Because I was _**SUCH**_ the bad influence on you. Always making you get in trouble.”

Leo chuckled as he began calculating the price of the drugs Kenny had made that night. “Kind of like now? Making me be your bookkeeper for your little business?”

“Hey now! Phon Tu Do Pharmaceuticals is a legit business! I’ve got the paperwork made by Kyle to prove it. And it’s called being my business partner.”

“Among other things. You know, I initially felt like this was wrong, that an angel shouldn’t help his drug dealer boyfriend with his business. Then I met Jimmy.”

“I think the scar helped too. At least you’re not half blind in it like the other you was. And it’s really sexy. Like…sexy villain sexy.”

The angel groaned. “You _**WOULD**_ say that. Do you want me to dress in tinfoil and laugh menacingly as well? Capture and sexily torture the great Mysterion?”

“I’d have to get a new body suit but I think my cape still fits. At least it won’t drag on the ground. And we’ve got plenty of tinfoil.”

“I’ll go work on my helmet then.”

———————————————–

Tweek’s heart lurched as he stared at the concrete floor in the backroom. He brushed his fingers over his chest where the organ was pumping faster than it normally did. The demon knew nothing bad would come of his heart working overtime like this since the body was merely a shell for his true self.

Still…deja vu trickled in the subconscious of his mind as he stood frozen, staring at the spot where he had died in the other timeline.

Craig and he had talked about what had happened, what the two remembered, and what they had seen. It had been a long night, with the two of them staying up well past the sun coming up. The two had taken off that day from their jobs, a rare occurrence, but understandable since Craig had given _**THE**_ sermon of a lifetime the day before.

Tweek thought he would be okay. He had mainly stayed at the front the next day, using up what him and his mother had ground up for the week. But Wednesday meant stock day and that meant spending most of their time in the back room.

Tweek thought it wouldn’t affect him. He was a demon after all. And that timeline, thanks to whatever Damien had done, never really happened. Still…it was fresh in his mind. The fear, the panic, the pain. The heartbreak.

Craig finding out hours later, his anguished sobs upon seeing his small, pale body and then at the funeral, him angrily yelling at his parents while tears streamed from his face, the self-destructed mourning Craig had put himself in afterward, only to finally make the effort to clean up and go to Clyde and Bebe’s wedding…that never happened.

Tweek didn’t realize he was crying until soft hands slowly wiped the tears from his face. He looked down into his mother’s concerned eyes, feeling a fresh set of tears starting to well up. He was an even six foot, five inches shorter than Craig, his goat legs giving him an extra three inches. In the other timeline, he had barely grew to 5′5″ his Freshman year and stopped, being the shortest guy in their class. Compared to him, he towered over his mother now.

“Tweek, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

He didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want her to know about the other Tweek. Her actual son. Not a demon born from her son’s soul. He tried looking past her, eyes focusing on the spot the other Tweek had collapsed and died. He began to shake.

“Clarence Theodore Tweak!”

Tweek’s eyes focused back on his mother as the woman snapped her fingers in front of him. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. “I… **NGH** , sorry. Sorry about that. You wouldn’t…believe me if-”

“Tweek, you’re a demon and my son and I’m helping you and Craig plan a supernatural wedding where both Satan and God, as well as several demons and angels are attending. Try me.”

Tweek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “C-Can we talk in the office about this. The backroom…is…bringing up some bad memories.”

————————–

“You know, I never understood why Richard put the damn bags of coffee beans along the far wall and the grinders in the opposite side. They're way too heavy to be dragged from one end to the other. I think it’s time for a change. They should be closer together.”

“Mom?”

“And let's put the grinders along the far wall. That way the noise won’t bleed into the music in the front of the store. I've always had a problem with that.”

“Um, mom?”

The woman smiled as she gently grabbed his hands. “That backroom hasn’t been rearranged since we started running it after Richard’s father couldn’t do it anymore. He kept saying it would upset some balance the room gave off. It sounds to me like it was the same way with…the other versions of us. So…a change is in order. It…should help with…seeing that spot…that…”

Tweek felt his mother’s hands shake in his and he gasped softly. “That’s…that’s why you wanted to move the front counter around, isn’t it? Because of…him.”

His mother nodded and sniffed, looking up at him with tears threatening to fall. “I’ll probably see it too sweetie. Even though I don’t have your memories, I’ll see it too. Now that I know that spot. But…I agree with Craig. I’d rather have you now than the alternative. I’d rather have this relationship we have than the one we had in that one. I’d rather go to my son’s wedding than his funeral, because it sounds like we weren’t able to go to it in that timeline and I can tell you now that I don’t know what Richard did with you when you died in this one.”

“I love you mom.”

“Love you too sweetie.”

Tweek stood up and held his hand out for his mom to take. “I think we’ll be able to make good time with rearranging the backroom today and still have time to get everything ready for tomorrow. Leave the heavy stuff to me and I-”

“Oh no you don’t Tweek. I might not be able to move the grinders, but you know I’m not a fragile woman. We’re moving stuff together. Just let me run home real quick and get some pants. There’s no way I’ll be able to work in this dress. By the way, how would you feel about a re-branding of the shop and a new name? We’re not Tweak Bros anymore really. I think it’s time for a change to go with the changes we’ll be making. Make some good memories to offset all the bad ones.”

Tweek smiled. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scream at me: riddlepanda.tumblr.com


	19. Obligatory Bachelor Vegas Trip Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been like two months. I've had a lot of stories and projects I've had to work on and kept pushing this story on the backburner. I should be back in the fold now.

“The answer is no Clyde.”

Despite being miles away, Craig could see the grumpy pout Clyde was undoubtedly making over the phone.

“You don’t know the question yet.”

Craig sighed and tapped his pen on his desk. “Let’s see, it’s two weeks before my wedding and it’s customary to have a bachelor party. As best man, it’s your duty to organize one for me. Whatever you have planned, it’s no. I’ve got too much work to do.”

“That’s what I’m talking about Craig! You’re _**ALWAYS**_ working. Always! Most of the time Token and I come down to see you guys is always work related now. I just want us to have fun. You need a weekend to relax dude. Tweek too. Please?”

Craig rubbed at his eyes. “How would we even do this Clyde? If I had one, so would Tweek. Both of us have the same friends and they all can’t just take off for two days two weeks in a row, especially so close to the wedding.”

“A double then! All of us together, like old times! Like alternate reality times! You’re overworked dude. You need to relax. Especially because of the wedding. Are you gonna work during your honeymoon too?”

“Kyle.”

“Kyle?”

Craig huffed as he tapped his pen on his desk again. “Kyle. Get in touch with Kyle then if you guys want to do this bachelor party shit. He’s Tweek’s best man and will knock down some of your more…wild ideas.”

He held the phone away from his ear a split second before he heard the screeching on the other end. “Nothing too crazy Clyde. I fucking mean it.”

—————————

Vegas had been a very bad fucking idea. Why Kyle was even talked into the batshit insane plan was anyone’s guess, but Craig had to guess that this was the least insane idea Clyde had come up with for a bachelor party getaway.

The weekend had started simple enough, with Craig getting promised by Jesus that the church would not burn down and that he’d deliver a worthy sermon. After all, **_HE_** was **_THE_** Jesus Christ. He had this.

They all met up at Medusa’s in Denver. Clyde, Craig, Tweek, and Jimmy ended up in Token’s car while Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Leo ended up riding with Eric. After the reveal of the alternate world and filling in the others of what had happened, the ones that hadn’t been in Craig’s office that day hadn’t questioned what Craig and the others had told them.

The journey up there wasn’t bad. It was long, but tolerable, with occasional stops so that Tweek, Leo, and Jimmy could stretch their wings and they could switch drivers.

Checking into the hotel wasn’t an issue, sightseeing the Strip wasn’t a problem, gambling wasn’t a sin. It was the main entertainment that night at one of the casinos that had turned the entire weekend into a cliched weekly supernatural tv or cartoon show that delved into defeating the monster of the week.

Even though Craig knew the whole aspect of religion was bullshit, at least his form of prayer and preaching was _**FREE**_ , with the occasional generous donations from time to time when the church desperately needed funds to fix broken pews or needed to revamp the attic for a better storage space (and to allow a better molting experience for Tweek and Leo), so when faced with fanatical evangelists that exploited the gospel for money way beyond what they needed, Craig got more that upset when he came up against them.

“Can we just go to another casino already? I don’t like getting reminded that some talentless hacks are the main event tonight and I’m about ready to rip their goddamn posters off the wall.”

Tweek looked at Craig in sympathy. “I’m sorry Craig. I know how you feel about this. And I’m not really getting the whole gambling thing either. Not my kind of taste for sinful nourishment.”

Clyde sighed and nodded, stabbing the cherry in his drink repeatedly. “When I suggested this to Kyle, I think it was more nostalgia than anything. Like we all agreed sometime to go to Vegas for blackjack and hookers. I didn’t think he’d actually say yes to this. But this has got to be the most bored I’ve been in a while. I’m shit at numbers and I’m not touching a hooker with a ten foot pole.”

Tweek raised his eyebrow. “But I thought Bebe didn’t care if you messed around with women since she has to with men?”

Clyde smiled softly as a slight blush colored his cheeks. “Actually… I haven’t thought of any women except for Bebe since we got together. And Bebe confessed she hasn’t really been with anyone else either. Just like three times when I wasn’t able to see her for a while when Token and I were on a long mission. And even then, she just didn’t feel into it with them unlike when we have sex. We talked about it after finding out about the alternate reality. I think it might be the soulmate bond we have.”

Tweek frowned. “Even with you two being soulmates, it’s still the matter of your soul energy being sapped. I mean, it heals after a time, but with the rate you two see each other… Surely-”

Clyde scratched his head. “Actually I’ve been using my healing ability after we have sex, not that I feel anything like she described I would feel, but I do it to keep her from being concerned. Normally it’s only used for physical healing, but for some reason I can heal my soul energy after Bebe and I are together. That’s the only time though. Almost like our abilities-”

“Compliment each other. Kind of like mine and Tweek’s do.”

Token sipped his drink before looking at the others. “I’ve actually been doing a bit of research about that when we go to Denver and I meet up with Jimmy and Timmy. And with the reveal about us all knowing each other in an alternate life, that doubled our research.”

“Ti-Ti-Timmy revealed to me that he rem-re-re- knew who all of us were before actually meeting us. He remembered the alt-alt- alternate timeline.”

“We’re still trying to figure out how Jimmy fits in since he wasn’t part of Damien’s deal, but I think that this world was created for us once he made the deal. And since Tweek, Bebe, and Leo have supernatural powers, their soulmates would have to have powers to equal and cancel the more hurtful powers. What Clyde said just now kind of proves that theory a bit.”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows. “So basically whoever’s got a supernatural soulmate has powers? That doesn’t explain others. Kyle doesn’t have powers and he’s with Stan who **_CAN_** use them. You have a power and you’re human, but Nichole doesn’t.”

“Nichole blocks spiritual energy.”

The table grew silent as they all stared at Token.

Token looked at his friends before looking down and stirring his drink. “She told me about it after I explained all the alternate universe stuff to her a few weeks ago.”

Clyde frowned. “Token…Nichole doesn’t like all our supernatural talk and forbids us to talk about it when we go home. How did you get her to agree to listen to you?”

Token rubbed at his eyes. “It took a lot out of me, the explanation. After leaving you in Denver, I got home and Nichole could tell something was definitely stressing me out. And she just told me to spill, to just let it out on what you guys told me. And I did. I just let everything out. Everything. Not just what you all told me, but everything that’s transpired since we met Tweek. And afterward, she made me tea and then told me to relax and then my power just…shut off.”

Craig raised his eyebrows. “Shut off?”

Token nodded. “You know Boulder’s got its own supernatural energy to it. Not as bad as South Park, but it still has a hum that stays in my head. Nichole just barely touched me and the hum just stopped. Like completely. For the first time since my powers surfaced, my head was just empty. I couldn’t detect anything. And I stared at her and asked her how. She…didn’t like us talking about supernatural stuff, because she was afraid I’d be horrified and leave her if I had found out she was what we called a halfling.”

Clyde got a concerned look on his face. “But we love Nichole. _**YOU**_ love Nichole. You two are seriously like the only couple that didn’t have any problems at all during our school years. You’re peas in a pod. Salt and pepper. There’s no way you’d leave her.”

Token smiled softly. “I told her that. I’d be a fucking hypocrite if I left her because she had powers. I don’t want to incorrectly call us soulmates, but that’s what I kind of feel, especially with what you all told me. And our powers compliment and cancel each other.”

“So is she angel or demon?”

Token looked over to Craig. “Angel. Her power not only blocks energy, but she can also weaken a supernatural person as well, make their powers not work as well. That’s why nothing in South Park ever phased her like it did us. She just blocked it out and weakened it when it got near her. She didn’t tell people then because she was scared and she doesn’t want anyone to know now. So it doesn’t leave this table. She was in a car accident before you ask. I think it might have been a residual from what you told me about Clyde and Bebe’s wedding disaster. …Sorry Clyde. For bring-”

Clyde shook his head. “It’s fine Token. Actually Bebe and I talked about that. We want to try again. Have a wedding, have kids. Try to live that life that we were gonna have.”

Tweek frowned. “Succubi are infertile. There’s ways, but-”

“Adoption. Especially if they’re halflings. And now especially with what Token told us about Nichole and her being scared of her powers.”

“Timmy’s always to-to-told me that it was dif-diii-dif- hard for him growing up and not revealing he can speak mentally to everyone.”

Clyde nodded. “It would be good for some of these kids to have parents with powers and can understand them.”

————————-

It was close to the time when the main entertainment was about to start and Craig was desperately trying to find Kyle and Eric so they could all go back to their hotel together.

Stan sighed as he walked with Craig as he stormed around the casino. “They’re probably in a heated argument about something. You know how those two are.”

“Yeah, and if you remember Stan, their arguments end up with people hurt and things on fire. Also, Eric is still recovering and he’s a lightweight. I know he’s not that big of a guy anymore, but I don’t want to drag his ass all the way back to the hotel.”

Stan frowned as he stared at his phone. “No word from either of them either. Kyle would already have texted me back. You don’t think-”

Craig groaned. “If they both got abducted, I wouldn’t be surprised. We’re fucking due for that again.”

Stan typed at his phone, grimacing as he did so. “Kenny and Leo went to check at the hotel in case they left early, but the rooms are empty. …I’m calling Kyle. Can you call Eric?”

The two continued to walk around the casino floor as they called the two missing men, hoping that either would pick up.

Just as Craig hit Call again on Eric’s number, the man’s cellphone jingle began loudly blaring next to Craig. Confused, Craig turned toward the noise, only finding a trash can in the vicinity. A second later, another ringtone began sounding from the trash can.

Craig’s eyes grew wide as he grabbed the lid off and found both Eric and Kyle’s cellphones on top of the trash in the can.

“Fuck.”

————————————

“Fucking casino cops are fucking useless!”

Tweek frowned as he placed his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “We’ll find them Stan. Calm down.”

“Calm down?! Kyle could be-”

The blonde grabbed Stan’s hand and held it in a death grip. “Yes Stan. Calm down. Or you’re going to lose control and I’ll have to take you down.”

Stan twitched as the red glow surrounding his hand disappeared and he closed his eyes. “My eyes…they were-”

“Starting to turn yellow. We don’t need you to lose it Stan, especially when you can’t control your powers as well as everyone else. We’ll find them. We’ll find Kyle.”

Stan took a deep breath and opened his eyes, already back to the normal dark blue they were. “Sorry Tweek. I just…I nearly lost Kyle once. I can’t lose him again. He’s…he’s the only one that just…gets me, you know? Suppresses that anger I feel sometimes. As much as he’s got a firey temper, he’s the only one that can freeze me in my tracks.”

Tweek nodded. “I know Stan.”

Craig pulled his phone away from his ear and looked at Tweek and Stan. “Bebe and Jimmy’s got some contacts here in Vegas so Clyde and he are contacting them to see if anyone’s seen the two and Token’s walking around the casino to see if he can pick up residual spiritual energy from them. Leo’s flying around the city to see if he can see anything and Kenny’s doing that weird shadowy thing he refuses to let any of us see.”

Stan frowned as he gripped Kyle’s phone. “How the fuck were they able to abducted IF they were abducted? Both of them aren’t exactly quiet. You don’t think they ran off toge-”

Craig punched Stan’s arm. “Don’t even fucking think that Marsh. Need I remind you about the several weeks Kyle stayed with us? Dude was **_CRUSHED_** about you. He wouldn’t leave you.”

“Eric’s the same way Stan. He’s completely devoted to Heidi and Erica. Heidi had to practically shove him out of the house to come.”

Craig put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “Point is Stan, they wouldn’t run away together in a secret relationship. They do love each other, but not in that way. They’re brothers more than anything, especially with everything that’s gone on. I just hope they’re able to protect each other until we find them.”

————————————

Leo leaned against Kenny, trying hard not to close his eyes. Kenny led the blonde to a bench to let him rest. “So…any luck?”

Craig shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll admit Vegas is a huge area, but for us to not find anything. We were damn lucky to even find their cell phones.”

The lights suddenly grew dim and the large stage in the middle of the casino began to light up as music started playing.

Craig groaned as he glared at the stage. “And now **_THESE_** assholes are starting. I am so fucking **_DONE_** with Vegas.”

The group watched as an older man in an outfit similar to what Craig wore while he was preaching, walked on the stage.

“Hallelujah and Praise Jesus my followers! I am the Reverend Abraham Christopher and we’ve got a special sermon for you tonight! Hallelujah!”

A chorus of praise came from the audience that had started to come in droves.

“Now my children of God! We have found a heretic that is in desperate need of converting to see the love of Jesus Christ Almighty! Hallelujah!”

The lights illuminated a large white cloth in the center of the stage. The preacher grabbed the cloth. “Now my followers! This young man does not believe in the love of God but by tonight, he’ll become one of our wonderful lambs. Welcome our new brother to the fold!”

The man ripped the cloth off, revealing the unconscious red haired man strapped to a large cross. It took all of Tweek’s strength to hold Stan back as he screamed.

“ _ **KYLE!**_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scream at me: riddlepanda.tumblr.com


	20. Obligatory Bachelor Vegas Trip Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the wait. To be honest, I've had three different endings to this fic I've been juggling around with and finally made up my mind on one. It's one that would affect the remaining chapters in this. Now that it's figured out, updates should be more frequent.

Tweek grit his teeth as he held Stan in place, releasing a bit of power to grow his nails. “Stan! Calm the fuck down! We can’t just-”

Stan growled as he tried pulling out of Tweek’s grasp, the sharp point of Tweek’s nails digging into his arms not phasing him in the slightest. “Let me fucking go Tweek! That’s Kyle! They have Kyle!”

“Kenny! A little help?!”

Stan finally pulled himself out of Tweek’s grasp only to be grabbed by Kenny. He gasped as he felt something tight and constricting around his body, holding him in place. He looked down to see nothing but Kenny holding him, despite his body feeling otherwise.

“Wh-What the hell Kenny!?”

Kenny frowned as he held his friend, leaning close to him. “It’s not going to help if you lose it Stan. Kyle is safe for the time being and we’ll start to intervene soon. We don’t know where Eric is though and he could be in even more trouble if we act out. Let’s form a plan before we rush the place.”

Craig frowned as he typed on his phone. “We also need to wait for Token, Clyde, and Jimmy to get back. If things get nasty, we’ll need both Clyde and Leo’s healing abilities. Token will probably be able to find Eric faster since we know that these charlatans have him and Jimmy might be able to get the pull from the casino to actually let Token search in the back where we can’t actually go.”

Stan slumped against Kenny, growling as he stared longingly at the stage. “How long will it take for them to get here?”

“Five minutes tops Stan. I promise, we’ll get Kyle back.”

————————————

Jimmy shook his head as he hobbled up to the group. “N-N-No go guys. Security back there is tight and no one’s allowed back th-th-there. We’ll need to find another way.”

“How many people will we need to find Eric?”

The group turned to look at Kenny as he leaned against the wall, noticing the misty purple energy that seemed to emanate from him.

“I…I can get us back there. Not many though. Two at the max since I’ll also need to cloak Eric once we locate him.”

Craig raised his eyebrow. “Cloak? You’re actually going to let people know about that weird invisibility thing you started developing recently?”

Kenny smirked. “I didn’t develop it recently. Just didn’t have the need to use it until now. After Leo and Tweek were kidnapped… I thought it was time for Mysterion to come back, or at least a revamped version of him. Anyway, I can take two people. Who’s it gonna be?”

Leo stepped up to Kenny. “Eric’s probably gonna need a healer.”

Token nodded and walked up to the two. “And I’ve got to be the one to locate him. The rest of you will be able to handle everything here, right?”

Craig nodded. “Get Eric to safety no matter his condition. We can handle this phony priest.”

—————————————

“How long does this cloak thing last Kenny?”

“A while Token. Don’t worry about me getting tired. It’s like second nature to me. Are you having trouble locating Eric?”

Token shook his head. I feel his energy growing stronger. But…it’s weird. I was initially trying to pick up on Erica’s energy on him, since she’s supernatural, but once I located it, I was able to detect a stronger version of her energy. Like it’s the same as hers, only-”

“I get what you’re trying to say Token. Saw it myself with Pip in Hell when I would go down there. Damien gave him some defensive power, but Pip’s got some abilities that just…happened naturally. That’s why we really don’t consider Pip purely human anymore. This might be the case with Eric since he’s around so many of us with powers now. He might be developing his own.”

Leo frowned as he narrowly avoided bumping into a trashcan. “I wonder if that’s the case for Heidi. Or Kyle. Stan’s been growing his powers and Kyle is always around him now since they’re together.”

“We can ask once we- Wait!”

Token stopped and narrowed his eyes at a storage room door. “He’s in there. I don’t know if there’s anyone in there, but Eric’s in there.”

Kenny put his hand on the door. “I can go through the door and check. Both of you will still be invisible since it will only take a second. I can check for traps or cameras as well. Just stay put until I come back.”

————————————

Kenny could only raise his eyebrow as he saw the scene in front of him once he entered the room. Eric was still quite tied up in the middle of the room, but the men supposed to be guarding him were passed out on the floor. Judging from the smell and overturned bottles of cheap Communion wine, the blonde was able to deduce what happened.

Eric raised his head, staring straight into Kenny’s eyes, before raising his eyes up further.

Kenny narrowed his eyes before turning around, noticing the camera. He raised his arm and sent out a purple misty tendril to crush the device before using the same tendril to open the door.

“You okay?”

Eric smirked as Leo and Token rushed in, closing the door as Kenny made them visible.

“I’ve seen better days Kenny. Never thought I’d be kidnapped again. At least I have a form of defense _this_ time.”

Leo rushed over to begin untying Eric’s bonds. “You’re not hurt, are you? That’s why I came along.”

Eric shook his head as he rubbed his free wrists. “Nothing major. I’ll probably be sore from being in this position for so long. My leg is still not fully healed yet.”

“I can do a once over heal. At least get rid of some of the ache.”

“That would help a lot. Especially since we need to rescue Kyle.”

Kenny leaned against the table in the room. “First you need to rest a bit. Craig and the others are coming up with the rescue Kyle plan. And I’ve got questions for you. How’d you know I was where I was? And what happened here?”

Eric scanned the room, looking at the three, before focusing on Token. “Token, how did you find me? I know it was you using your power.”

Token frowned. “I initially searched out Erica’s energy and then found you. But…you have your own energy now, similar to hers, only…more. You’ve never had that until now.”

Eric nodded and sighed. “I was wondering about that. I had meant to ask you earlier since you can sense supernatural energy, but never had a chance to ask one on one. I…think I can mentally manipulate others, kind of like what I did when I was a kid. Not like full blown mind control, but just giving them a very good suggestion and they act on it. Erica can do that too that Heidi and I noticed. It never affected Heidi, but it did me for a while until I started being able to do it too. Erica can’t get away with half the stuff she used to with me.”

“When did this start?”

Eric looked over to Kenny. “Not long ago. A month or two maybe? Just casual stuff, like me wishing some bitch would hurry up and move at the grocery store and she does. Stuff like that. I was able to tell these assholes to drink all the wine and get drunk and pass out.”

Kenny nodded. “You were able to see me just now and I was invisible. Erica can see us for what we really are. I think Token’s right. Our powers are growing and it’s affecting the people around us that don’t have them. It’s giving them powers too.”

Eric raised his eyebrows. “Powers? Is this a result of me being around all you?”

Token nodded. “I’ll explain later, but for now, I think we need to regroup. We might need that power of yours Eric if you’re feeling up to it. Despite what we all saw, Kyle wasn’t looking so good on that cross on stage.”

The three noticed the dark look in Eric’s eyes.

“If they hurt Kyle…”

Kenny began to release a purple mist to activate his invisibility again. “Stan was about to set fire to the place to get to Kyle. Now we’ve got you about to lose it. Save it for when we get out there.”

Eric smirked. “I may not be as bad as I was when I was younger, but I’ve still got that spark. If they hurt Kyle in any way, I’ll make sure they pay. I just got my family back only a few months ago, Kyle included. I’ll let Stan have them, after I’m done with them. Don’t worry about me. I can rest once we rescue Kyle.”

Token chuckled. “Just leave the head preacher for Craig. He’s got a damn hate boner for this guy ever since we all got here.”

“No promises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scream at me: riddlepanda.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to send me a message or check out some neat stuff. Or yell at me: http://riddlepanda.tumblr.com/


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